Discords Devilishly Delightful Dessert Delivery Dabachale!
(Yeah try saying that four times fast!)
By Misterebony
 
 
Pinkie Pie danced about the Sweetie Bakery where she worked, decorating and making cakes at random of all shapes and sizes, humming a happy tune as she worked. The pink party pony was also one of the finest bakers in all of Ponyville, getting orders from the most unlikely of individuals.
 
Her current customer was a case in point: the dark ponylike witch Chrystalis, who ordered a dozen cupcakes baked with love, delighted she ate the first one.
 
"MMMMM! I can taste the wonderfullly nutritious love in this one! You truly are amazing!" The witch said as she dropped her promised payment.
 
"Glad to please, and I hope you come again!" Pinkie said as she took the pay for the cakes. Chrystalis chuckled some and gave what to most would be the most disturbing of smiles. But it was a smile nonetheless.
 
"Oh I will come again, count on that, little pony." She winked and walked out proudly as the next customer came in, a dragon....er....gryphon...... um.... pony.... uh......... THING. Really he was a bearded mish mash of all kinds of different creatures in utter chaos as they were peiced together. Hence the being's name, Discord.
 
Like Chrystalis, Pinkie had faced Discord as an enemy in the past, but now he was just another customer like she had been, like so many who others might consider enemies. She just smiled and waved a hoof.
 
"Welcome! How can I serve you?" She asked. Discord chuckled.
 
"CXurious, I was about to ask you the same thing!" He said, leaning on the counter and trying to look cool. Pinkie blinked.
 
"I beg your pardon?"
 
Discod smiled. "Let me rephrase myself. I have kind of a..... special order. See I am having a craving for ponyflesh, but I don't want it just raw. Now I understand you can make ANY kind of dessert, correct?"
 
Pinkie beamed proudly, not really getting he was ordering pony desserts. "Any kind at all! And I never dissapoint!"
 
Discord clapped his hands....er....claws....um.... WHATEVER. "wonderful! Then I would like six different pony desserts... and one of them you."
 
If it had been anyone else, they might have tried to run. But Pinkie was always Pinkie Keen about stuff, and was simply proud. "You reallly think I'd be that tasty?"
 
"Oh absolutely!" Discord said with a lick of his lips. "In fact, IF you do this order, I will pay ten times the cost to each pony involved."
 
Pinkie was wide eyed! That was a LOT of money! She knew getting others to help would be hard..... but not impossible. "It might take time understand, but I think I can round up my friends to be a wonderful dessert for you."
 
Discord pumped his fist. "AWESOME!" He sasid, fireworks going off behind him. "Just let me know when each pony is ready. And be sure you are last my sweet. I am especially craving a Pinkie Pie." He licked his cheek making her giggle.
 
"Right-o! One order of six pony desserts coming right up!"
 
She strode out the door and then froze, realizing what she just did, and going wide eyed.
 
"Wait a sec...... how in the world am I going to convince five others to be food?"
 
***********************
 
She decided to start her challenge with the one most likely to be helpful. She walked to Fluttershys home, full of cute little animals as always, helping and being heklped by the small voiced pony. After answering the door and letting Pinkiie in, the pink pony explained the situation.
 
Fluttershy was naturally hesitant.
 
"Ummmm.... Pinkie.... you do know I would be eaten right?" She asked with a nervous shiver.
 
"Yup! Me too, and four othrers." Pinkiie said. "But the pay is large, and knowing Discord likely worth it."
 
Fluttershy gulped. "But..."
 
"Think of this way. You like helping creatures, and Discord is made up of a ton of different things, so it is like helping a whole bunch of wonderful little cute animals all at once!" She dnaced about and randomly threw a cupcake, uninentionally feeding a happy bunny behind her. Fluttershy actually giggled.
 
"Welllll..... okay, I'll do it. But what should I be?"
 
Pinkie hmmmed. "Well, your always real nice and sweet, but delicate,. I thought I'd make you into a wedding cake with lemon frosting!"
 
Fluttershy beamed. Lemon cake! It was one of her favorites! She suddenly felt honored! "Well, we better get the others before we begin. I think we better ask Rainbow Dash next."
 
Pinkie nodded. "Okay! Let's go!"
 
***********************
 
"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'll say it again NO. I'll repeat it once more NOOOO!"
 
Rainbow Dash was NOT happy. Her best friend had just told her that Discord had ordered six pony desswerts, and Pinkie thought she would be on the menu. The LAST thing she wanted was to become a delicious dessert for that Discord.
 
But Pinkie kept staring with those eyes, her mouth quivering and shaking. Rainbow Dash hmphed.
 
"Don't give me that look! You want to make me into food! I'm not gonna.... Stop looking at me like that!"
 
PInkie's Eyes got bigger and tears began to form. Rainbow Dash sighed.
 
"Ohhhhhhhh.... fine. Whatever, but if it hurts even a little my ghost will haunt you and give you nightmares forever, got it?!"
 
Pinkie cheered and hugged her friend. "Thank you thank you thank you!" She said, randomly kicking a cake into the air, splattng Derpy, and making her crash again. "And I know just what you'lll be: A rainbow Sherbert with skittles and some fresh fruit!"
 
Rainbow chuckled. "Like that trwat you made me for my birthday?"
 
Pinkie nodded.
 
"Well, as long as I get a few licks before I get chomped!"
 
Fluttershy nodded. "Now, who should we ask next?"
 
Rainbow Dash got a devous look. "Let's ask Rarity. I cannot wait to see the look on her face when you ask her!"
 
**********************
 
Rainbow Dash was soundly dissapointed.
 
"Seriously? Not even an argument?" She said.
 
Rarity, the fashion designer and lady of high life in Ponyville, smiled. "Of couirse not! Being eaten is actually in style now, and it will help me model a new line of dresses if I can convince Discord to aid with the tour.
 
Fluttershy smiled, as did Pinkie, randomly putting Icing on Rarity. SHe smiled.
 
"Ah, nice touch! It's my color too." She blinked. "That's it! Pinkie, make me into a big gingerbread pony. You can then decorate me real fancy!"
 
Fluttershy imagined the meal so far and was actually licking her lips. Even Rainbow Dash was liking this now..... kind of.
 
"Ok, now for Twilight!"
 
********************
 
Twilight finighed her latest letter to Celestia as Pinkie and CO. wlaked in. She was stunned by the offer but not suprised., her horn glowing as she looked through a book on pony meals.
 
Well she had a copy.
 
"Apparently it is not uncommon around here for Ponies to be eaten. Especially given where we live, near that forest and all. So I don't see why this order was a suprise. Still.... I'm pretty hesitent after what Discord did to us all."
 
Pinkie smiled. "Reguardless he is STILL a paying customer."
 
Dash nodded. "YEah, and the pay is HEEEEEEAAAAUAUUUUUUUGGGGGGEEEE!"
 
Rarity smiled. "I don't care about the pay as long as I make my new edible outfit line."
 
Twilight actually chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "Well, if your willing to go out like this so am I. It'd be kinda fun I'd imagine from what I read."
 
Pinkie nodded. "Sure is! Think I never used ponies before?"
 
Everyone stared.
 
:What?"
 
Twilight sighed. "*ahem* So.... what will I be?"
 
Pinkie hmmmed. "Well..... your full of knowledge, your kinda experimenting all the time.... no can't go by personality." She loked her over. "Hmmmmm.... no can't go by looks either...." She randomly tossed a book, knocking over a cookbook which amazingly feel to a page on spells on food transformation. Pinkie blinked and ahhed. "EUREKA! Twilight, you'll be a favorite dessert, a jello mold with whipped cream!"
 
Twilight blinked. "What?"
 
Dadh laughed and Fluttershy smiled. "It makes sense." the softspoken pony said. "Your so good to all of us. And there is always room in any occasion for you to join in." She smiled softly, and Twilight ahhhed.
 
"I get it now! Each one of us will be a dessert based on what kind of a friend we are right?"
 
Pinkie nodded. "Yup! That's why it had to be you all. Best friends and best food, forever."
 
They all giggled and froze, realizing who the last one was.
 
"Ummmm... .Pinkie... what will we do about Applejack?"
 
Pinkie blinked. "Ummmmmmmm......... Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh......... I don't nooooooooooo."
 
Everyone sighed. That was one pony who would surely not agree. She had been eaten wayyyy to much as it was.
 
********************************
 
(Quick aside. It does seem Applejack is the most eaten pony of the mane six, appearing often as prey and rarely as pred. Hence her reaction...)
 
*********************************
 
*SLAM!*
 
The door shut in the face of the five as they tried to convince Applejack to be a dessert with the rest of them.
 
"But we need a sixth pony!" Pinkie begged.
 
"Well it ain't gunna be me! Tarnation Pinks! How could ya ask ta cook me! You KNOW what happened ta me last week!"
 
Twilight sighed. "That was an accident! I didn't know you were in Zecora's sandwich!"
 
Applejack continued. "And wha about da time Pinkie had ta see if I taste like apples?!"
 
Pinkie blushed. "Well... .I was working on some special cupcakes!"
 
"I dun care! Dis pony has sworn off being every Tom, Nick, and Philly's treat! GOT IT?!"
 
Everyone sighed. Pinkie sat and whimpered. "NOW what am I going to do? I need one mroe for Discord's order, and I really wanted it to be all of us, all us friends together!"
 
Rainbow sighed. "We all knew she would say no. Even with Twilight being the magical reforming magic pony she is, AJ is always on the menu it seems. And it is never a nice experience."
 
Rarity nodded. "Besides, She is always a bit stubborn. Once she sets her mind on something that is IT. It's very..... uncooth."
 
Fluttershy sighed. "But surely if Pinkie is involved Applejack would agree right?"
 
Twilight shook her head. "Cupcakes."
 
Everyone nodded and sighed yet again. Pinkie got up. "Guess I have to tell Discord I can't complete the order." She hung her head low, her hair flattening out, a sure sign of extreme sadness. "I never had it happen before! I always filled every order!"
 
Meanwhile Applejack was listening intently, and feeling a little bad about saying no. But darn it she had been eaten enough! She turned to walk away....
 
And saw Apple Blossom staring at her coldly.
 
"What?!" Applejack said. Blossom Hmphed.
 
"How can you abandon your friend when she needs you!"
 
Applejack oied and shook her head in utter annoyance. "You have any idea what she wants me ta do?"
 
Apple Blossom stepped forward. "Doesn't matter! If your friends you'll trust her. They never led you wrong before have they? Haven;t they always been there for you?"
 
Applejack sighed and listened more.
 
"Or maybe she would find being in an Apple Crisp more comfy." Pinkie said, still not smiling. "That would have been fun."
 
Dash chuckled. "Bee really funny if she was a Caramel Applejack. Though I doubt she would want a stick in her mouth... or anywhere else."
 
Everyone giggled at that. Applejack even found the image funny and chuckled.
 
"Well come on... we better go." Pinkie said. "Thanks anyway guys."
 
Twilight smiled and nuzzled. "What are friends for right?"
 
Applejack sighed and groaned. "I KNOW I'm going to regret this."
 
She kicked open the dor and calle dout. "WAIT!"
 
Everyone turned.
 
"Ya promise it won't hurt or anythin?"
 
Pinkie smiled. "Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye." Which she did. Everyone laughed.
 
"Ohhhhhhhh... all right. But ya better be makin me somethin reallly good!"
 
Pinkie smiled. "I know just the thing."
 
****************************
 
Several hours later, Discord sat at a big table, a napkin around his neck, a fork and knife on the table. Apple Blossom was wheeling out a cart for Pinkie since she was... indisposed. With a smile she revealed the first dish.
 
Rainbow Dash was sitting and shivering in a Sherbert Sundae with Skittles and Sprinkles. In her mouth wasan oversized Skittleusually used for parties, and her hair and fruit moose all through it to compliment her naturally fruity taste. Discord was impressed!
 
"YUM!" He said. He took a little lick and hmmmed. "Oh wonderfully fruity sweet! A fine start for my dessert feast." He suddenlyt opened his mouth REEEEAL wide, taking in the sundae in one bite, Dash eeeping once before Discord chewed her, and the sundae, up. But when he swallowed, his eyes got wide.
 
"EEEEEK! BRAIN FREEEEZE!" He said, for a brief moment turning into ice. He then changed back, Apple Blossom giggling a little. Discord smiled. "A wonderful first course my dear! What's next!"
 
Apple Blossom whistled and got out a little card she was to read. "Next on the catwalk we have Rarity modelling the lastest in edible wear: GIngerbread with flavored icing and home made gumdrop buttons. Her hat is pure butter creame icing, and the shades see through rock candy."
 
Out the second course walked, her form absolutely stunning, her gingerbread coat decorated with gumdrop buttons on the front, pink and purple sparkling sugar, and wonderful icing designs. Discords, jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes bulged out. THIS was a lovely treat!
 
"Your opinion, Mr. Discord?" She said. Discord smiled and took a bite, Rarity moaning and fallong onto the plate in pleasure as he chewed.
 
"Wonderful. I say the next big thing." He said, then pat his belly. "But for now I need to make this thing big. Soooooooo... chew or swallow?"
 
Rarity smiled. "Chew please. I want to know all about how good I tasted."
 
Discord smiled. "it would be my pleasure." He said, lifting the Gingerbread Rarity up and chowing down, taking big bites, making the pony giggle until she was all eaten up. "Ahhhhh. In the end where food art is concerned, there is one thing to do. Just eat it!"
 
"Mah thought's exactly." A voice said as Apple Blossom brought course three, the reluctant Applejack done up with caramel coating, surrounded on all sides by fresh caramel apples. In place of a stick, Pinkie Pie had put a joke on her rump cheek for the being of chaos to read. A Schitck in other words. That alone made Discord laugh loud and hard.
 
"So good when food is this enjoyable, don't you agree Apples?" He said, munching a caramel apple first, saving AJ for last.
 
"Yeah. It actually feels kinda nice. Better than being shrunk." She admitted, Discord chuckled and hmmmed.
 
"Oh no..... you wouldn't!"
 
He snapped his fingers, and Applejack became bite sized. Again.
 
"He would." Appletini groaned. "Remind me to get Pinkie for this."
 
"I'll do it for you." Discord offered. "I bet she would make a real nice cotton candy." He lifted her up. Before Applejack could deny or refuse the offer, Discord tossed her in his mouth and swallowed her whole. He chuckled as he felt his muscles massage her all the way down, a nice change from the norm. With three down, Apple Blossom brought out Rarity next, her head sticking out a massive layer cake decorated with lemon icing. Discord awwwed and snapped a picture with a dPhone (discordPhone for those who don't know. Order yours today!), then brouight her close, cutting a slice. Fluttershy blushed as he ate her really slowly, savoring every bite.
 
"Why so silent dear?" He asked as she blushed and looked away. Discord hmmmed and scratched his chin. "it isn't my beard is it?"
 
Fluttershy giggled. "No.... I'm just....... welll.... I know food isn't supposed to talk and.."
 
Discord chuckled. "My dear, since when does a being of Chaos follow the norm, hmmm?" He said, tapping the table with his claw. "besides, I like a little pleasant conversation."
 
Fluttershy smiled. "You dfo?"
 
"Course! Makes the eating that much more fun!" He ate another slice. "By the way, your quite delicious. a nice mellow flavour. Not overly sweet, but just sweet enough."
 
Fluttershy blushed. "Why.... thnak you, Mr. Discord."
 
"No mister please. I'm very casual." He winked and nibbled some more. "Especially with such delectable treats as you and your friends."
 
Fluttershy blushed.Was he hitting on her? She giggled cutely and said little more, letting Discord finish her up slice by delectable slice. He burped softly as he finished, patting his ample gut. Apple Blossom brought out the next course, and Discord laughed as he saw Twilight Sparkle as a big pony jello mold, grape of course, with sparkling sugar and colored whipped cream bringing out her features. The transformation was complete, save that she could still talk and move a little.
 
"This feels really good..." She moaned. Discord smiled.
 
"Well everyonelikes jello after all." He licked his lips. "And you are no exception."
 
Twilight wanted to comment, but her jello head went first, glomped by the being of madness. He licked his messy lips as he ate her much quicker than the cake, being jello and all. In no time, all that remained was a little residue and some messy dragon lips. The final course arrived soon after.
 
Pinkie was on a big silver platter, done up in, of course, a big pie, rasberry flavoured to counter her natural sweetness. She had her head sticking out one end and her hooves out the top, soundly trapped in the pie, a big thing of vanilla ice cream nearby in case Discord wanted a la mode. He smiled happily.
 
"Well my dear, you outdid yourself! This was a fine meal!" He licked his lips. "And now your part of it, my fine final course."
 
Pinkie wanted to talk, but she had put a cupcake in her mouth at random, so she couldn't. Discord chuckled and cut a slice of Pinkie Pie.
 
It was the best part ever.
 
**********************************
 
"And a half million gold coins for you...." he said, setting down ANOTHER bag of riches. He was fat and almost immobile, but very happy with his meal, and thanks to Twilight's magic was able to see the six again for their payment. Dash had gotten hers first and rolled about in it, and Fluttershy was getting hers now.
 
"Why.... it's..... it's...."
 
"AAAAAAAND a grant for your foodie outfits for you..." He said, handing Rarity a check and his card. "If you need a manager or some marketingf, lemme know, I'm a wiz." He made a wizards hat appear to show he was. Rarity beamed.
 
"Thank you. This is far too kind."
 
Discord turned to Applejack next. "For you, several cases of my food transformation potions, to get a cartain few back for being food, as well as some gold bars for the repairs your house needs."
 
Applejack nodded. "Much oblidged."
 
"And for Twilight, a big chest of the finest Crystal Gem Ponies, all willing prey for that Spike of yours as well as fine assistants in your research."
 
She opened the chest, a few giggling some. "Why thank you! This has been a wonderful experience, and I would do it again without question. Being jello was... .fun!"
 
"Finally, for Pinkie Pie." He turned to the pink pony. "Your 10 times the price as agreed, as wel as an advance for next time."
 
Everyone froze. "Ad....vance?"
 
Discord chuckled. "Why of course! Why only eat such a fine meal once!" He chuckled, a little evilly to be honest. "See you soon, Meal Six."
 
With that he poofed away, randomly leaving behind a couple cupcakes for no reason whatsoever. Everyone chuckled nervously.
 
"Ummmmm..... guess we were too tasty huh?" Pinkie finally said.
 
******************************
 
Twilight: Dear Princess Celestia. I know it is weird that I learned a lesson from being food for Discord, but I did. And I think it is a valuable lesson. I have learned that even in situations that may seem scary, consider trying them. You may just enjoy it. Especially when you are with friends. Just make sure it is nothing you won't come back from first. Well, I gotta go, We are having a big party in Ponyville tonight!
 
Signed,
Twilight Sparkle