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An alternate ending to the previous Hitmare short story that I found myself strongly desiring while writing the other one, heh. Here we have Octavia meet an untimely rear end.
Fic number 6/30, and the first I was up until 2am finishing off, heh. Hope that doesn't become a thing.
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Posted by Gone 9 years ago Report
Damn, this one is even better than the last, excellent work as always Cainiam!
Posted by dudey64 9 years ago Report
Twin stories, one even better than the last indeed, awesome.
Posted by Battle541 9 years ago Report
:3 What a twist! This was really unexpected.
Posted by GTSOctavia 9 years ago Report
(Continuing on my comment from your other story.)
...This on the other hand, felt kind of flat. It's pretty basic really, Anal Vore with gas, Facesitting and it really loses the Hitman charm to it. The Hitman (Forgot his name) was professional, hell, he walks through a strip-club without batting an eye. Octavia being distracted so easily really ruined the parody's "Mood" for me.
I mean there wasn't even a "Game Over"-type joke in it, it feels like it was made out of obligation, rather than desire.
Posted by Cainiam 9 years ago Report
I actually desired to create this more, as quite honestly faceistting with gas plus anal vore is my favourite combination. It does however completely lose it's Hitman charm, you are right there. Agent 47 would not have fallen for the hypnotic swaying of a booty, no matter how plump. And the game over type joke was actually a missed opportunity.
A constant question I ask myself is what is the perfect balance of pure fetish material and more intelligent writing. I think that Vinyl's Last Rave actually managed to strive that balance well, whereas here fetish material definitely wins out. As you can see from the other comments here some people prefer that pure fetish. As to myself... well, it's honestly whatever the heck I feel like at the time. But, yeah, the parody aspect was lost here for the pure fetish, so I understand your gripe.
Posted by GTSOctavia 9 years ago Report
You know, honestly I'm glad you're being mature about this. And honestly I have no problem with the combination myself, but without the charm mentioned before, it just feels flat.
I noticed on this site and others, many people seem to judge stories based off of it's sexual content and nothing else. And so I'll read something with much, much more holes than this. Yet everyone in the comments section is losing their arses over it. Acting as if it's the second coming of Shakespeare or something.
I agree in finding a perfect balance, but preferably if one is going to "win out" as you put it, the intelligent writing is usually the better of the two.
Either way, no hard feelings mate.
Posted by YourGenericBrony 9 years ago Report
Another great story! Any chance we can see a spitfire pred vore story?
Posted by jak123 9 years ago Report
Good story loved it