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Sabrina, the Psychic Mistress of Saffron City, has been plagued by some odd visions. So thus, she enlists some help from a fellow Psychic Gym Leader... and things go awry.
This is my first story that I've written in regards to vore and whatnot. This story is almost three years old and has had quite the history behind its development with all sorts of changes, delays, and almost anything else you can imagine. I'm really glad to have gotten it up and I hope there's a few people who will enjoy it. Right now, I'm in the middle of working on a story based around an original character of mine, but fret not I will be giving Sabrina several more stories in the not too distant future.
The thumbnail is taken from here.
Sabrina and Olympia are owned by GameFreak.
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Posted by BlueMarvel611 9 years ago Report
Hey DSC, sorry for taking long with reviewing your story and from what I've seen this is really a vore Pokemon story done well. Seriously man for a story that's three years old, I'm rather impressed. Not to mention that it's featured my most favorite Kanto female gym leader, Sabrina. Enough with the rant on favorite gal and now on with the review.
From what I am seeing you really opened up Sabrina's story here with some really good details on Sabrina's gym. Not to mention on how she too thought the design of the teleporting tiles in her gym were a bother as well as comparing it to Cinnabar Island's relocation. You even brought up details of how Koga was promoted to be part of the Elite Four as well as Sabrina's involvement with Red's journey and such.
Now on with the main plot when she invited Kalos' Olympia into her gym. I've got to say that you've written their interaction really well. Heck I'm even impressed with how you did Olympia's speech pattern given how hard it can be on some to do it. Heck even I can find it difficult at times. Back to the matter at hand, the two psychic trainers both seem to interact well and it helps keep the story flowing along.
For the vore sequence itself, you kept up its description from how Olympia entered through Sabrina's mouth to how the latter was swallowing her up. Not only that but it really shows things that are happening from Sabrina's own point of view to help the reader understand her thoughts. Not to mention the way of in the end of how her body developed after eating her meal. Personally, I like with how you described the results of Sabrina's in terms of her having a full meal.
All in all you did real good for this one man. And I honestly hoped that you put up more Sabrina stories like this in the future man. I'll be there to review them all if that's what it takes. So that said, keep up the good work and have a nice day.
Elias Azule
The Blue Marvel
Posted by DeadStrategicCactus 9 years ago Report
Hey man, it's no problem. So fun fact, this was originally going to be a story where Sabrina was going to nom Tate and Liza, but I thought about it more halfway through and decided that might be a bad idea so I changed the prey to Olympia. Of course, that also played a role in the delay because writing Olympia's Haiku dialogue is the most annoying and tedious thing ever to the point I never want to write her talking again and I'm very certain that shows near the end.
When I write a story that's going to focus on a game/show/comic/whatever fictional medium, I always make sure to properly double check my knowledge of the lore, as well as throw in some nods to the continuity and franchise as well.
Glad to see you liked it a lot and don't you worry, I've got quite a few ideas for more Sabrina stories, though they are all continuations from this one. Don't know how it's going to actually end, but that's okay because I have other stuff to write stories about in the mean time.