Yay..gym..cause they aren't sweaty enough.
Will be interesting to see where you will take this.
So the secret is out...
The ladies can't get enough of the guy and are with him 99% of the time..
and you added All the way through.. twice...
Almost made me wish it didn't stop there, and Mom was pushed over her son.
If I had one critical note it would be that you could be more descriptive in certain scenes, and perhaps more creative. most of the acts feel similar to me.
I agree with you about the scenarios.
I plan to focus on other stories for a while so I can have some time to come up with something original for this series.
Adding a detail like shrinking or more equally large men seems a little forced so I am sticking with what I have currently got.
That being said, I plan for one of Alexandra's friends to learn his secret and take it from there (maybe have him see them beneath Mark's clothing in the gym, describing Mark's actions from the onlookers point of view in order to keep it different).
Posted by Dark_phoenix 8 years ago Report
Yay..gym..cause they aren't sweaty enough.
Will be interesting to see where you will take this.
So the secret is out...
The ladies can't get enough of the guy and are with him 99% of the time..
and you added All the way through.. twice...
Almost made me wish it didn't stop there, and Mom was pushed over her son.
If I had one critical note it would be that you could be more descriptive in certain scenes, and perhaps more creative. most of the acts feel similar to me.
Still love the story though.
Posted by crime0edge 8 years ago Report
Thanks as always.
I agree with you about the scenarios.
I plan to focus on other stories for a while so I can have some time to come up with something original for this series.
Adding a detail like shrinking or more equally large men seems a little forced so I am sticking with what I have currently got.
That being said, I plan for one of Alexandra's friends to learn his secret and take it from there (maybe have him see them beneath Mark's clothing in the gym, describing Mark's actions from the onlookers point of view in order to keep it different).
As always, any ideas are appreciated