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Naruto - Marunomi's Revenge Ch. 3 By Nobodyman -- Report

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Marunomi infiltrates the Leaf village while donning a familiar disguise. Meanwhile, Hinata's team, as well as a squad from the Cloud village, continue their journey to the Pebble village.

So I actually did a bit of re-writing for this chapter. Originally there was more narrative that, personally, I thought gave away too much too soon. I'm sure some of you may hate me for that, but my story, my rules.

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Deviantfan16

Posted by Deviantfan16 2 years ago Report

Did she start to digest Tenten and Sakura? Oh nos

Nobodyman

Posted by Nobodyman 2 years ago Report

No, she isn't digesting them now. She only absorbed them.

Deviantfan16

Posted by Deviantfan16 2 years ago Report

They whats in her stomach?

Nobodyman

Posted by Nobodyman 2 years ago Report

It should become clear in the next chapter or two. Sorry, I know that part's a bit weird. I probably should've revised it a bit more.

Deviantfan16

Posted by Deviantfan16 2 years ago Report

Yeah its easier to assume she just put Tenten and Sakura in her stomach

Urielzael2

Posted by Urielzael2 2 years ago Report

Is Morunomi feeling something to Naruto or is he just hearty meal. I know you don't wanna spoil but still it picked my intrest. Maybe Naruto will teach her Senjutsu so she would become finally satisfied as power of nature will be infinite resource for her to consume.

Nobodyman

Posted by Nobodyman 2 years ago Report

Interesting idea, but no. To Marunomi, Naruto is just another chakra source.

Scion

Posted by Scion 2 years ago Report

I really hope she has the ability to steal some of his techniques or use nine-tails somewhat. :)

BlueMarvel611

Posted by BlueMarvel611 2 years ago Report

Hey Nobodyman, here with another review for your story. Just looking forward to see how this turns out for your story. Now on with the review.

From what I'm seeing with her meeting with Tsunade, it would seem Marunomi's infiltration of the Leaf Village is a success. Though got to say that I did sorta predict that she would gain the ability to shift forms and gain the memories of those Marunomi absorbs. Anyways, good way of having Marunomi be patient with the way of having her vengence. Surprisingly cunning and devious of her to do so...but with good reason given the targets she's set her sights on. Boy was she sneaky as she managed to catch Tenten off guard with her act as Sakura. Using her knowledge of Sakura's memories of her friends and her mannerisms, Marunomi was able to pull it off without a hitch. Leading Tenten in the middle of the woods and catching her off guard was one thing...but having Marunomi speak to Tenten using her regular voice adds a sinister tone to her. Probably the last thing Tenten would hear before being completely absorbed into Marunomi. Though curious on how it didn't show but more on that later.

What got me off guard with Marunomi is how she used her Sakura disguise to get close to Naruto of all people. I mean using her fake crocodile tears to not just get close to him but also sway the guy into holding her was something I wasn't expecting. Though was sorta expecting that she would just swallow the guy whole but instead she absorbed him into her body. Can't blame Marunomi's logic in such a thing given that Naruto's got the largest chakra reserves of any human possible due to his status as a Jinchuriki. So she made a good smart move keeping Naruto within her body so she could keep his chakra handy. Oh boy is that going to be trouble for the rest of the village down the road in this story.

Onto the topic I want to discuss. The way Marunomi's new ability works...specifically with how she allows her body to distribute her meals like she did in the last part. The way she got her belly to inflate just to feed on the two extra meals she got while in the village while leaving the rest within her. I got to be honest that that last part got me confused for the most part seeing paragraph there got claims that Marunomi has gotten extra meals since coming to the village. It could be just me given.

Anyway last thing is that I want to report is how you got Hinata to talk about her insecurities with Ino as they made their way to the destination. I got to say that you really made Hinata sound human with the way she spoke about her nervousness at going to the Village Hidden Among the Pebbles...and way to show her instincts too. The same could be said of Samui and her group as they head towards their destination. Honestly the interaction between Omoi and Karui is just hilarious as it was in the anime and manga. You did good there. You also did good with showing that even Samui has her reservations on this mission of their...which would no doubt be well founded in the next chapter or so.

All in all this chapter was awesome and I'm looking fowards to see what happens next...plus want to see more of Samui for she's one of my favorites. XD Keep up the good work and hope to see the next chapter up soon.

Elias Azule
The Blue Marvel

P.S.
How long is this story going to be anyways? Just wanting a heads up given. XD

Nobodyman

Posted by Nobodyman 2 years ago Report

Thanks BlueMarvel! You're detailed reviews are always a delight to read. Anyway, to answer your questions:

Yeah, admittedly, I was kinda nervous that that last part with Marunomi's belly expanding could come off as confusing. But, also, I haven't given you guys all the information yet. At this point, I meant for it to invoke intrigue (how did she do that? what/who are these "extra meals" in her body?). So wait and read the next chapter or two and see if it doesn't make more sense in retrospect.

As for the length of this story? Well, it still isn't done yet, but I'd anticipated maybe 12 chapters in total, give or take.

Thanks again!

BlueMarvel611

Posted by BlueMarvel611 2 years ago Report

Okay good to know. I look forward to the next chapters then. I looked forward to the future chapters that you would put up. Thanks for the update man. So laters.

Elias Azule

Scion

Posted by Scion 2 years ago Report

What I really dig about your stories is the imprisoning aspect of it, combined with increased power.

In your goddess story and the hunger games like one, each person absorbed or trapped makes them stronger.

So Marunomi taking memories and keeping naruto and the fox as nothing more than power, gets me goin :^)

Nobodyman

Posted by Nobodyman 2 years ago Report

Well, two of my greatest loves are vore and shonen battle series. So, in a way, it makes that I'd combine the two (hell, I think Japan is largely responsible for igniting my vore fetish). And yes, with that comes the power aspect.

Anyway, glad you're enjoying my work!