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Immediately after gaining legal custody of his high-school-aged sisters, Sal finds himself needing help from a rather eager woman. There's something oddly familiar about her, too...
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Commissioned by max123, as one of a series. (Sequel in the works.)
All characters involved were created specifically for this story.
This was a blast to write, honestly, and wasn't originally going to be a series. I'm currently outlining the sequel to this story, and we're discussing the possibility of more with Sal and Rosa at the moment. From what we've been talking about, I'm really looking forward to it.
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Posted by Groblek 7 years ago Report
Very well done! Max has fun story ideas, and you wrote this one very well. The setup was great, and the unbirthing was excellent. I liked the way Rosa showed off the range of possibilities by demonstrating both a head-first and feet-first unbirth with them. I look forward to reading the sequel you mentioned.
Posted by CurioHeart 7 years ago Report
Glad you enjoyed it! That scene wasn't originally going to feature both head- and feet-first unbirthing, but it fit together pretty well when I was writing it.
Posted by FriedKiller 7 years ago Report
That was good, you are great at this. Though if I was the guy, wouldn't it make more sense to call the police first to stop it quickest? Aside from that little question it was an amazing story and I'm going to be waiting for the sequal.
Posted by CurioHeart 7 years ago Report
It would make more sense, sure- but then we couldn't have Rosa threatening him like that!
Posted by Nothinghere 7 years ago Report
wierd thought. why bother grabbing people her daughter liked if she's going to regress them anyway? unless they retain their personality or memories or something. or maybe she wanted sal as a father to her or something. well im probably just overthinking it.
Posted by CurioHeart 7 years ago Report
That's actually a great question! Memories are lost during regression, but their personality is left pretty well intact. Don't wanna get too much more into this right now, though. :)
Posted by henrerez247 7 years ago Report
Great story, from your answer it makes me think that theres alot more conenctions between the sisters and rae than just liking the them judging by the the timing of the first mothers disappearance ;)
Posted by CurioHeart 7 years ago Report
You'll just have to wait and see. ;)
Posted by PokégirlMaster 5 months ago Report
Gonna be honest, this is kinda par for the course for a Max123 commission and story.
But it kinda pisses me off that Rosa disregarded Sal's feelings in just wanting to keep his family together, by countering that she's taking his sisters to keep Rae happy.
It also pisses me off that she's threatened to take them out of his life completely if he messes up.
I honestly think Sal should have just kicked one of her knees when she'd pinned him down, to immobilize her, and taken his sisters back through ANY means necessary.