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In this part, Thomas awakens in a strange yet soft and warm place. He is almost eaten and gets in trouble and is punished. he then investigates some findings in his search for Elijah and ends up having to satisfy a couple of large females, and is then eaten.
This part ran a little long and I had to end it early, but I am satisfied with where and how it ends. I hope you enjoy this next part as I really enjoyed writing it.
EDIT: I'm going to edit and re-upload this very soon, the last half will be cut off and included in the next part and this one will have some issues fixed with it. I will Upload a new version of this soon.
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Posted by OneofMany 6 years ago Report
The lewd parts aren't bad. The world building is... Not good to put it politely.
Posted by Pharo 6 years ago Report
Fair point, I will have to work it out a bit better on later drafts. I think I keep changing small bits as I go along, should probably stop that...
Posted by sladearanzero 6 years ago Report
another good chapter. i thought the world building was ok, maybe a little too rushed and not vary in-depth but not bad.
Posted by Pharo 6 years ago Report
I thought the pacing seemed to slow in parts, but I will re-check and see where it is lacking.
Posted by sladearanzero 6 years ago Report
I think the story will be fine. No one should expect you to have every aspect of the story perfect. As long as it is enjoyable to read there shouldn’t be too many complaints.
Posted by Pharo 6 years ago Report
I do like how its turning out, but am going to cut this part in two and fix the pacing and smooth it out a bit. I farted out this part really fast, maybe too fast...
Posted by hungryvulpine 6 years ago Report
I really like this series so far, I'm definitely going to be following this one
Posted by Pharo 6 years ago Report
I'm glad you like it, I'm getting really sucked into it myself. If you have any feedback or suggestions feel free to let me know. :)