Posted by MouseBoy 5 years ago Report

not as big of a fan of the in the ass thing, but good story o3o

Posted by OpenLive00 5 years ago Report

Well the story was for my friend and he liked it, so that's what really matters~

Posted by MouseBoy 5 years ago Report

fair enough x3

Posted by ShadesofBlack 5 years ago Report

Overall I really liked these! They were well written, and the first two skirted the borders on family vore and shaming that I enjoy without pushing too far. The death and terror isn't really my cup of tea, but I still enjoyed it. I especially liked the way the second story continues as if the first was narrowly avoided!

I also like the implied canon here that Leona and Diana are a couple. The 2nd is probably my favorite of the 3. The way you wrote oral vore with a kiss was quite pleasing.

I liked how you kept throwing in lines from the game, as well. One or two of them felt a bit forced, but a couple of them I almost didn't notice.

Posted by OpenLive00 5 years ago Report

Thank you so much! This much feedback really made my day!

I personally had a lot of fun writing each one as if the last one had almost happened. As for the death and terror, it's really not my taste either but it was a gift for my friend and he loves that stuff. He's also a huge fan of using lines from the game, even if they are forced, so I try to include it whenever I can.

I'm glad you like the implied relationship! I'm not sure if you've seen it, but my story Momma's Boy has more of that, as well as being the inspiration for this story too!

Again, thanks so much for the feedback and I'm glad you liked it~!

Posted by JustAQuinn 5 years ago Report

The weird 'in the mouth and then in the butt' Burner type thing is pretty cool. We should have a stretchy pred tag or something for it.

Posted by OpenLive00 5 years ago Report

Glad to hear you liked it~ I forgot to add the "butt bulge" tag, but I'm not really sure what else I should add tag it as for that.