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As the chapter ends, darkness covers the sky and the final battle looms.
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Thanks to everyone who voted last time! This is it, we're almost at the end! We've gotten everything we can from this run, and with plenty of chapters to spare before the time limit. Ganon's waiting for us. Also yes, the second part of this chapter was the most Korok seed action we'll be getting and I pretty much wrote it for solely that one pun you know who says. The nightmare, however, would've appeared no matter the chapter, even if we'd gone to the final battle, and I hope you enjoyed it~ See you next time for the final chapter!!!
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Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
And now we come upon the final chapter and we all know what that means. *suddenly I pull out not one, not two, not three, but FOUR t-shirt carts that have a plethora of t-shirts hanging from it. Some of these t-shirts many people have seen before, but there are a good number of new ones like for example there is a Link vs. Ganon shirt that shows the two squaring up against one another, once which involves the many possible different outcomes which show main characters as steaming piles of shit with random items that belong to them, and then there were a good number of other shirts of high quality that swung in the breeze.* ITS MERCHANDISE SELLING TIME! Come one, come all! I have all your merchandise relating to this series done by ZNV! 50% of the profits go straight to the Anonymous Lurker's Needs Money Fund and the other 50% goes to my Swiss bank account! Don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to get merchandise that may, or may not be worth a lot of money in the future!
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
*Stamps Seal of Zelda No Vorsu quality on all items that are actually in the final chapter.*
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
*Slowly peels off a Stamp off of one of the shirts.* If there is something I hate more than kumquats its someone who spoils stories and/or movies. FOR SHAME! Also the stamp only adds any value to it if the author... is... dead........ *stops peeling the the stamps off and turns my attention towards you* Sooooo, how close are you to finishing that story? Mind if I watch you type it out? Oh and if you could sit and type it out underneath that giant Acme Anvil that is hand precariously by a thread? Don't worry, noooothing could happen right? Riiight? Riiiiight?
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
But how would you know the spoilers, it's too vague to tell anyone anything. I mean of course Link is going to fight Ganon, that's what we've been building up to the whole story! So put those stickers back on! Also, yes I'll sit under your Acme Anvil and write. I've watched enough Road Runner to know how this goes, eh Wily?
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
Yeah! Just like a cartoon right? But I don't think I'm Wily, he comes up with amazingly smart plans while trying to avoid danger yet it comes to him! I on the other hand run towards danger headlong bashing my skull into it repeatedly. *walks over to you while breathing down your neck* Seriously, nothing bad will happen if I'm here! You have nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about. Nothing.
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
*Suddenly, the rope holding the anvil disintegrates Infinity War style! The anvil falls upon Zelda No Vorsu and his desk with the finale on it, crushing both. Anonymous Lurker's merch begins turning to dust as well. Ganondorf's laugh is heard.*
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
*The real me shows up a few minutes later with a bucket of chicken* Hey! Carbon Copy Me! Where are you and those four merchandise carts? *Sees a pile of dust, a large acme Anvil, and a great lacking of merchandise* Oh great. *lifts the anvil up with one hand to seeing you and Carbon Copy Me flattened like pancakes* What the fuck is this? Some sort of cartoon! I hate cartoons! *tosses the anvil away before producing a tire pump out of thin air and stuffs it in your mouth and begins pumping air into your flattened body* I hope you realize that 100's of hours of labor done by ten year old children in my sweatshops have now gone to waste, because of your antics ZNV. Did you use cartoon metaphors against my carbon copy!? Can't you see his carbon copy mind can't take that!
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
*Zelda No Vorsu pops like a balloon, because he is a balloon, flying around the room with a comical farting noise. A blue vortex appears. A dark figure emerges from it. Ganondorf, wielding the Infinity Gauntlet with all six stones and protected by an impenetrable dimensional shield, appears. He laguhs.* "Fool, do you really think Zelda No Vorsu would let you know of his whereabouts, especially while writing the finale of a series? He's secluded himself away, and left me to keep you entertained until he's ready." *Snaps his finger. The merch carts reform, this time the 'Seal of Zelda No Vorsu Quality' is printed on the shirts instead of simply stuck on.*
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
Uh huh... well if you're not here to buy my shirts then would you kindly fuck off Ganondork? *I then pick up the Acme Anvil and place it back on top of my Carbon Copy since he is now of little to no use to me* I got money to be made and if you're not buying then you're about as useful as this Carbon Copy version of me. I don't know what my Carbon Copy was doing at the time before I got here, but obviously it did some things that have now irreversibly messed up this reality... which is kinda awesome really for a Carbon Copy, also did you get those stones from another multiverse or what? I thought I snorted them a month or two back.
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
"You little... How dare you insult me! I've come from a dimension where I've purified the entire universe of the scourge of you precious 'vore'! With the power of these stones and the Triforce of Power, I could make you suffer untold pain, never granting you the sweet release of death, but since I'm under direct orders not to harm you physically, I'll do so in a different regard... Hah hah ha!" *Ganondorf snaps his fingers. Reality bugs out for a minute, turning a weird salmon color. Zelda No Vorsu is sitting at his desk, diligently writing inside the salmon colored void. Ganondorf is standing behind him. He turns towards Ganon.* What did you do? *Meanwhile, back in Lurker's reality, his merch once more turns to dust along with the anvil and mushed remains of his carbon copy. Then, his shady inter dimensional banker calls to say all of his money in the vault turned to dust suddenly. His sweatshop owners call in one by one to say that the workers and buildings are turning to dust along with the products before saying they themselves don't feel too well and connection is lost. Finally, when everything else appears to be gone, even those characters that Lurker had created, his phone turned to dust. His normally pristine business suit follows soon after, replaced by a white t-shirt with a picture of a handsome butt that has green fumes coming out of it and reads 'Zelda No Vorsu has a thicc bottom with gas problems'. He has no socks or shoes, and no pants, only boxers with pictures of CrystallKiller88's crystal on them. Even his icon mask has been replaced by a brown paper back with a poorly printed version of his emoticon. However, he is till in perfect health.*
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
"Man, its fun when people mess with reality. Too bad Ganondork has such thin skin." *I dig my fingers into my head before ripping the skin, the muscle, the blood, the membrane like present wrapping paper revealing my normal mask, my suit and all the normal attire I wore before* "There we go, much better, now then I'm going to have to go and see if I can take over that third world country called Somalia and turn it into one big giant sweatshop! Hmmm maybe I'll begin my new line of product like some sweatpants or something... I always enjoy creating things and watching them get destroyed. If there is one thing in this world that is true, it would have to be destruction. Destruction is what makes life worth living." *phases out of existence*
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
*Lurker reappears, finding himself in the same spot he just phased from. Confused and a little irritated, he tries again but to no avail. Extending his arms, his hands find some kind of strange, almost glass like substance. Only it is nearly invisible and indestructible. Ganondorf reappears, smiling smugly at the Lurker.* "How do you like my Infinity Sphere? Don't bother trying to escape, it blocks all known and unknown forms of teleportation, walking, attack, and other tricks you might have to try and escape. Not even death will free you. Your spirit will remained trapped within the sphere. Perhaps now you will no better than to insult a god. Let's take you somewhere more... comfortable." *Ganondorf closes his hand. Red smoke wipes around reality itself, transporting them to a dark, empty void. The only light comes from Ganondorf himself, revealing a bit of the bubble like sphere surrounding Lurker.* "Welcome to the Void, Anonymous Lurker! Here, there is nothing. No creation, no destruction, no life save for us two. But soon, it will be only you. Only beings like myself can find this place, and even fewer can avoid going mad. The Void is stagnant. Nothing ever happens here, and once I leave, it will be totally dark. Slowly but surely, you will go mad as the last of your sanity leaves you. You'll begin to have visions of people and places long gone. You might even think you're seeing the final chapter of Breath of the Wild Hero's Journey 2, believe that Zelda No Vorsu is talking to you as usual. But, it will all be in your head as embrace madness. This is a fate worse than death, and I shall leave you to it. Hah hah hah hah!" *Ganondorf disappears. Darkness once more rules the void, leaving Anonymous Lurker all alone in a cold, dark, lifeless, stagnant universe...*
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
*Begins walking around the void looking through the whole thing taking note of it all* Hmmmmm, this is quite interesting. *Begins looking over the whole world around him surrounded by nothing, but blackness. The silence. Deafening. The cold dark dampness encroaching him.* In a sense, this is where all things end up. An encroaching void of nothingness where all will be forgotten, this is the true end of all things. *Begins smiling at the situation he was now in, besides he's been stuck in a number of these places so many times before. Usually an end of the universe sends him flying into another universe, but he had time, he had time to think, waiting didn't bother him, he'll get out eventually, in fact one way was obvious at this moment. All he had to do was wait.* Oh how do I enjoy a good old waiting game. Will you get bored? Will you forget me? Only time will tell.
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
I won't forget you.
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
*Spending three days in the void would take its toll on most people, but to me time meant nothing at this point. However, ZNV's voice entered my head after these three days, but I knew it was just that, a voice of my own machinations, a voice that wasn't real, a voice that does not exist in this realm, a voice of... uncertainty. But at least the voices would entertain me if for a few short moments.*
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
Don't give up hope.
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
*There was silence for a moment before a chuckle came, which turned into a laugh, which then turns into an uproariously loud guffawing. The voice was definitely not a machination of my mind cause it would have known for a fact that there was no hope to begin with. There was only a singular goal in all this that drove him to do what he did. That goal? Well that's a secret.~*
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
It's a secret to everyone.
Posted by AnonymousLurker 6 years ago Report
*I proceed to tune the voice out at this point realizing and begin doing a little rhyming game that keeps me busy whenever I'm in the void.* Howdy doo and merry Too, my name Is Drew and I'm coming for you. Up a creek or down by the beach my bLade is sLeek aNd I havE a peach. X When you make iT to the Top, don't forget to stop, Its quite a long drop, before landing in the slop. Mortals are damnEd to always rePeat, they'll Always get sLammed before having to retreat. Manipulation is quite the machination, but so is castration and deprivation.
Posted by hunter1243 6 years ago Report
Lets do this.
Posted by person82 6 years ago Report
okay, I know it's all just fetish stuff, but take a moment to think here.
is ganon the good guy?
i mean, he's trying to stop what is basically a cult who eats people alive on a whim. sure, he's also trying to take over the world, but i'd rather live in ganon's world, where he overuns one town with zombies, freezes a lake, and that's it.
also, link eats koroks. what a monster.
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
That's part of the point of this story, to make you think long and hard about who is the real hero here.
Posted by Seelane 6 years ago Report
I mean, the only goal of Ganon was always either to take revenge for his people or save his people...
Posted by CrystalKiller88 6 years ago Report
As I love to say, It's showtime!
(Seriously, it's my catchphrase.)
Posted by Seelane 6 years ago Report
Everytime I hear this... I always yell PERSONA! now...
Posted by SmaxTheDestroyer 6 years ago Report
I would’ve had Fi emerge to reason with us and got eaten to force the sword to submit. But that’s me. Let’s kill Ganon (again) and bring about the vorepocolypse.
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
I thought about it, but I didn't want that to mess up the sword in some way because I don't know the exact specifics of the relationship between the sword and Fi.
Posted by supersaiyango 6 years ago Report
Fi is in essence the swords interface. Thtas why she acts lkke a vomputer program. Hylia vreated her as a guide for the hero. And the sword would be just fibe without her at thus point as demises rrmains have long since left the sword Shes been sleeping ever since ss though
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
Well, in this universe, her connection with sword is somewhat different. They're a little more linked than a simple super advanced-GUI computer relationship. Hence, my reluctance to remove her from the picture.
Posted by Seelane 6 years ago Report
I feel really bad for Ganon...
Posted by derpsquid42 6 years ago Report
Aw, we can’t go back and eat anyone for Vorensi?
Posted by ZeldaNoVorsu 6 years ago Report
Nope, the time for fooling around is over. Only the final battle matters now.
Posted by derpsquid42 6 years ago Report
*summons Knuckles* Oh no! *he then precedes to chuckle*