Conspiracy Theories
 
 
  Kyle walked slowly down the forest path, his brow furrowed as he read his book. The Sylveon had always loved horror novels, and it was his belief that any horror book, no matter how bad, could provide SOME entertainment. However, as he got to the 6th story in the anthology, his ideology was being tested. Whoever wrote this story thought that poorly writing human x vampire erotica was the same thing as horror, and the anthology compiler agreed. The anthology contained some good stories, but none of them felt like real horror, except perhaps “The Blob.” It described a giant yellow blob that swallowed down people as it went. If it wasn’t written like a bad 90’s CGI film, he probably would have enjoyed it. Kyle got to the line, “he used his tongue to wrap my clitoris around his long vampire tooth,” when he heard a muffled scream.
  The Sylveon traced the sound to a shed in the middle of the woods. He wondered if he should enter it to see if whoever was in it was alright. He decided not to when a loud belch permeated the walls of the shed, instead choosing to just call the police to deal with it.
  *Dial tone* “Hello this is 112, what is your emergency?”
  “Hello? I was walking through a forest when I heard a scream and a belch from this shed, and I think there might be someone being tortured-” Kyle was interrupted by the operator hanging up. He tried to dial again, but it didn’t work. Kyle stood there, puzzled, wondering what he should do. His options were either to return home and read his book (The internet was cut last year, so Reddit wasn’t an option, and the library only allowed one book per month) or stay here to see what happens. He had a chance to die if he stayed, but he would kill himself if he continued reading. So, Kyle walked 20 paces from the shed, and sat down on top of a log facing the shed.
  Kyle had almost dozed off when he suddenly heard a helicopter. Four men in SWAT body armor dropped down on a ladder, and surrounded the door to the shed. Kyle stared in confusion, as one of them had a ROCKET LAUNCHER. What the hell could be in the shed that would require such a powerful piece of equipment? He watched as they busted down the door and rushed in. The Sylveon considered peeking in, but as a rocket launched out of the door and struck the helicopter, sending it careening downward, Kyle decided against it. Time slowly ticked on, and Kyle couldn’t see in the shed from his position, so he just waited from his log. Kyle screamed as he saw a struggling, sack of yellow emerge from the shed with one of the guards disappearing into the top of it. The thing that had emerged was squeezing it’s out of the shed, and the struggling forms of the police were the outlines against it’s walls. He watched in horror as the blob grew more, as the officer disappeared inside of it and the blob moved out of the shed. The blob flopped onto the forest floor, revealing a… Liepard?
Kyle realized that the “blob” was actually a Liepard’s stomach that was seven times the size of the Liepard’s body, making it so Kyle could only see their head. This was possibly more terrifying than a blob, because as far as Kyle was aware, the Liepard’s stomach should have exploded. The Liepard let out a loud belch and snarled in a female voice, “what are you looking at, you pansy?” Kyle continued to stare with shock and horror as the Liepard began trudging towards him. “Were you the one that called the coppers on me? You’d better not’ve, or you’ll be joining ‘em.” Kyle saw an arm stretch out the Liepard stomach, as some poor soul pressed it’s face against the stomach wall. It looked like a Machamp. He felt an arm on his shoulder as the Liepard picked him with a surprising amount of strength. “You’d better speak up, twerp, or you’re going in.” Kyle tried to speak, but his mouth was frozen. He saw the Liepard’s mouth open and her tongue stretch out to swallow the Sylveon, but she stopped and dropped the Sylveon as she grabbed her stomach in pain. “Oohgph… you’re lucky I’m so full right now…” Kyle looked at the Liepard. She was strong, but she was carrying five highly trained policemen in her stomach. He saw a blastoise attack within her stomach, and considered his chances to save them.
Kyle had the type advantage and speed advantage, but so had the Machamp, and look where that got him. “Look, pansy… you foiled my cover, but I’m giving you a once in a lifetime opportunity to not get digested. All you need to do is get me out of this forest, and I won’t kick your ass. Sound like a -oormph- deal?” Kyle considered the Liepard, decided that the policemen were already dead at this point, and he decided to agree. “Alright, you… weird devourer of policemen. We have a deal. But remember, I know dazzling gleam, so you’d better keep your end of the deal. Let’s go before reinforcements come to help that crashed helicopter.” Kyle began walking off, hoping that his false bravado would keep him from being a snack.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
  23 years ago, Selena was born as the second daughter to the Rocjiski family. A year later, Sally was born to the family, completing the stereotypical family of a mother, father, and two children. For many years, the family of Liepards were happy living their lives in western Kalos. When Selena was 6 years old, West Kalos separated from the rest of the country as an independent nation. She remembers learning in school that it was due to political drama between royal family members, but knew nothing more other than that her parents opposed it. When Selena was 9 years old, her and Sally were moved to an orphanage because their parents had suddenly disappeared. At 12 years old, she was moved again due to the orphanage being full. More and more kids appeared due to missing family members, and Selena noticed that most of them were dark, poison, fire, dragon, or bug types. This prompted an “investigation” between her and her sister where they were determined to find some sort of conspiracy. Their method of doing this was by saying their theories to a security camera, and seeing if some sort of illuminati came and kidnapped them.
  At 18 years old, Selena took a senior-year high school class about Pokemon history. She learned about the extinction of humans during the Great Pokemon War that caused many pokemon to turn into mega stones. As Selena told Sally about this, Sally had another theory; “The West Kalos government is having financial problems, so they are selling ‘dangerous’ pokemon like dark-types to rich people for mega stones.” They laughed and moved on. The next day, Sally disappeared, and Selena knew they would be taking her next. She began stress eating compulsively, and found herself 20 pounds heavier by the time she was taken. They up to her in a white van and grabbed her on the street. At 19 years old, Selena escaped the prison complex where she was going to be sold off by eating her guard. She felt like she was going to puke as she ran into the forest. At 20 years old, Selena swore revenge on General Francis, the Slaking who ran the whole operation.
  At age 23, she had managed to lure the horny General Francis into a shed in the forest under the guise of a Tinder date. She had let out a mighty belch and began resting when some pansy of a Sylveon called the cops on her, and now she was running through the woods with five pokemon in her stomach.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
  ‘Maybe I didn’t have the speed advantage after all…’ Kyle thought as he found himself trailing behind the strange Liepard he had met, shouting directions for which way to go. The Liepard was surprisingly fast, and he was out of shape. When he was 5 years old, Kyle had always wanted to be an arena fighter as an umbreon, but his parents forced him to be a Sylveon after the West Kalos revolution for some reason. After that, he had given up on training, and now he was out of shape and only knew the moves tackle and dazzling gleam. As they ran through into a clearing, a net suddenly struck the Liepard and knocked her on the ground. Kyle ducked for cover as three guards carrying heavy tools appeared from around the clearing and surrounded the Liepard.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
  Selena struggled as the soldiers approached her. One of them, a Snorlax, grabbed her arms and hoisted her onto her feet, facing her towards a Bewear with a strange looking tool. The Hitmontop soldier wordlessly pried open her mouth as the Bewear stuck the strange tool down her throat. She felt a sudden struggle in her stomach, as though the pokemon within her were fighting. Selena suddenly felt an object get pulled out of her throat by the tool, and watched in dread as a slimy and worn-out General Francis climbed out of her stomach. The Hitmontop handed the Slaking a towel, and after he wiped himself off, the dirty sloth looked up and grinned at Selena. “You should have known better than try to mess with a West Kalos official.”
  Selena felt the Snorlax begin walking her away, and the Bewear and Hitmontop began painting out a landing platform on the ground. ‘Well, this is it, I guess. 4 years of running, all down the drain… I’m sorry, Sally, I failed…’ Selena began to cry at the prospect of her sister, reduced to a stone for some rich asshole to use in battle, or as anal beads, or whatever rich assholes did.
  Suddenly, all around her, Selena saw nothing but bright light. All the soldiers flinched as the light struck them as the clearing filled with light. Selena, shielded by the girth of the Snorlax, saw her chance. She used the full weight of her body to swing her stomach at the Snorlax. It was knocked off balance, and Liepard swung around for an iron tail, followed by another belly slam, knocking the Snorlax onto it’s back. As the Snorlax slammed on the ground, she saw the Hitmontop and Bewear rushing the source of light: the Sylveon from earlier. Selena charged into the Bewear, grabbing onto it and using it as a shield from the Sylveon as another dazzling gleam tore apart the scenery. The Hitmontop fainted, but the Bewear needed more damage to faint. Selena used fury swipes to keep the pokemon distracted as the Sylveon gave the finishing blow.
They stood back to admire their work, when they spotted the Snorlax starting to get back up. Selena exchanged looks with the Sylveon and knew that they had no chance. The Sylveon began running out of the clearing, and Selena began to follow him, when she realized her true mission: revenge. She turned to see Francis cursing and limping out of the forest clearing. The Liepard dashed over and slammed him to the ground. He disappeared back into her stomach through her massive maw with a pitiful, “not again.” Selena then began sprinting as fast as her legs let her as the Snorlax pursued.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
  After what felt like hours, day turned to night, and they lost the Snorlax. Kyle and the Liepard finally slowed down, panting. Kyle began wordlessly making a fire as the Liepard began collecting sticks. Suddenly, the Liepard spoke, “why did you come back and save me?”
Kyle answered simply, “I watched them from behind a tree as they removed the Slaking from inside you. It seemed like a real dick move to not remove the other four pokemon. I mean, nobody good can just let their soldiers die while they have the means to save them.”
The Liepard snorted and, for the first time since Kyle met her, smiled. “Yeah, well, a Liepard with four extra pokemon inside is probably gonna sell for more.”
“What?” Kyle asked in regards to the “selling” bit. Selena explained her story, how she had lost her family to the greed of the government, how the government considered dark-types a “threat,” and how she plotted her revenge on General Francis, but grew quiet again once the story was done. Kyle finally got the fire started, then asked, “so what do we do next?”
The Liepard looked at him in shock. “You’re a fairy-type, you could live the rest of your life in a now-thriving economy with no problems. You can go home.”
“Well, I can’t go home now, I know too much.”
“They probably won’t recognize you. You aren’t exactly the most memorable-looking pokemon.”
“I don’t mean that,” Kyle began, and he looked at the stars, which had appeared while they were running. “I mean that, I cannot just live my life knowing what the economy is based off of. I cannot just live a normal life while knowing how many pokemon have suffered so that I live in an authoritarian dictatorship of a country.” He paused again, then looked at the Liepard. “As demonstrated, I am a helpful-ish ally (The Liepard snorted at this) so I think I can help you. So, where are we going next?”
The Liepard thought for a moment, then spoke, “I suppose we should head to regular Kalos. If we can tell them about the mega stone practices done here, we can probably cause enough international outrage to shutdown the government.”
Kyle nodded, and then poked at the fire with a stick until he was sure it wouldn’t go out for a while. “So I guess we’re crime-fighting partners now. My name’s Kyle, what’s your name?”
“The name’s Selena, nice to meet you, Kyle.”
They sat in silence for a while, with just the sound of the fire and Selena’s massive gurgling stomach. Then, Kyle spoke again, “So do you have a sleeping bag or whatever?”
Selena laughed, “Awww, has the pansy never slept on the ground before? Too busy getting manicures as a fairy type?” Selena crawled on top of her stomach, and then rolled so that her body was on top of the left half of it. She then slapped the right side of her stomach, “You can sleep here, if you think the ground is too cold.”
Kyle stammered for a second, questioning whether he should accept the offer. On one hand, he wasn’t sure how comfortable it would be sleeping on top of the corpses of corrupt soldiers next to a predator, but on the other, he really didn’t like how dirty the ground was. After almost two minutes of slipping off the mountain of a belly and Selena’s mockery, Kyle got his way on to the stomach. Selena, bored now without Kyle’s antics to entertain her, fell asleep almost immediately. Her stomach was comfy, it was soft, furry, and shifted almost like a waterbed. Kyle pressed his head against the stomach, listening to it gurgle. It was rhythmic, and the way how the Slaking kept cursing inside it was also (almost) rhythmic. After meditating on the quiet sounds of his soft bed and the fire next to him, Kyle fell asleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
  Selena woke up in the morning and immediately felt off. Her stomach was gone, yet her chest was still resting comfortably. She pressed her hands against the floor and began to do a pushup, but found that her arms had to wrap around her chest to touch the floor. During the night, her breasts expanded massively. Each one was the size of a ripe watermelon and as squishy as a water balloon. Selena stared at the massive lumps that her chest pressed against the floor, and began passively kneading the sacs. “And you thought you were going to turn ME into an orb, huh?’ Selena began to get up, but felt resistance as she pushed up. She turned around to see Kyle snoring and resting his head on top of one of her pillow-sized ass cheeks. “GET OFFA ME YOU DUMBASS!” Selena shouted and Kyle scrambled to get up and began apologizing profusely. She grunted something at him and told him to scout the area for any West Kalos soldiers.
  As he went off, Selena got up and grabbed at her buttocks. Each one was as soft as her breasts, but twice as big. Selena doubted that she could fit into a bathtub at this point with these assets. She sighed, and made it a note to exercise a lot as she left for Kalos. Finally, Kyle came back and said that there was nobody around the area. Selena grunted, “alright, well, you’re the smart one. Point us to Kalos, we’ve got us a government to overthrow.”