Uploaded: 4 years ago
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File size: 37.50 KiB
MIME Type: application/msword
Comments: 5
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Tags: ?/F amphibian amphibian pred Breasts caught caught by tongue Climax clothes ripping denial Desire eat to live Eating eating alive Eating whole enjoying enjoying it Feet Feet first Female female human Female human prey Female Prey fetish Flailing flailing legs Frog frog pred Frog Vore Giant Hiatus Hips Human Human Prey hypothetical Implied Digestion Inescapable inevitable vore Large Pred Masturbation Nude Female Nudity Oral Vore Orgasm outside pleasurable death pleasure self pleasure Squirming Squirming Prey Stomach Story Struggling prey too many tags Unwilling Prey Weak Prey writing
(See top of document above)
This took a while longer than expected for a quick write. Hoping you enjoy!
(It'll probably be a long while before my next one as well... maybe a a few months, maybe multiple years.)
Not sure why the formatting turned out so whack, might have to experiment with future uploads... I hope it's not too much of a nuisance.
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Posted by fernwalker 4 years ago Report
I enjoyed the internal monologue where she debates on whether to give in to her fantasy. For me the amount of detail was just right, leaving my imagination to fill in parts.
Posted by NightRoller 4 years ago Report
I'm pleased you enjoyed it! Striking that balance isn't an easy thing, so I'm glad this story managed it.
Often I worry that I have *too much* internal monologue, so count me pleasantly surprised to find it worked well.
Posted by TheWildeWood 4 years ago Report
Critique as requested:
That right alignment is an abomination. I'm having a hard time concentrating on the text.
Colon after the title when using a subtitle.
Put the description at the start of the story in the gallery description and let the reader focus on your work proper. If they want extra information, and they probably will, they can find it easily enough.
Do more interweaving of the character's thoughts with the action taking place. The short sentences feel more like an outline or poem than a structured story at the start; it would be an interesting choice to commit to the dreamlike poetry route until "reality ensues".
When I press through the right alignment formatting, what I observe are the same issues you have with your butterfly story, and so my recommendation there also applies.
Make revision your new best friend, it will take you places.
Posted by NightRoller 4 years ago Report
Ah, I'd forgotten to fix the file when I'd found out the Word file had wrecked all formatting, but now it's as it should've been ^^"
I'll keep that in mind for the subtitles, though I think this is more stylistic.
Editing is what I've nearly mastered, so Revision will be made my objective for the next few years!
Thanks again for your constructive input!
Posted by DR Mabuse 3 years ago Report
It is nice that she is considering giving herself up to the frog voluntarily.