Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

This is the first case of a longer chapter I decided to chop in half at a convenient point. Especially after the next is out, I'm curious to hear if it aided suspense (or perhaps worked just to keep the chapters consistently bite-sized), or if it made the shared theme seem to drag on.

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

Yeses on both counts! My mircoliterature biases aside, the ground floor part needs to be there do the isolated task of tempering Adam's surprise while giving him the final opportunity to soak in enough of Claire's radiant bossiness to warm him up to the idea giving her the run of his bachelor's mansion, as opposed to a guided tour, and but it's better off being compartmentalized away from the more intimate and personable pulp of the next chapterelle.

And emotion- and pacing-wise, the decision to climb those stairs comes in naturally; Claire is quick to get bored with all the modest luxury, but then that is not what she's after, and she's been consistently firm in cutting to the chase so far in the novel; it's a bit like a special interest slingshot, with the getting bored with Hallmark-iness serving as the tensing rubber band.

Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

I'm sold! If memory serves, there are a couple of other 4k+ word chapters, so I'll look for a split point in those as well.

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

Only if you feel it necessary and not forced!

I'm so sorry you're stuck with just me representing the public interest, and responding to notes like this, instead of ten competing clever voices -- may they show up yet before the story is fully manifested here!

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

Combining the exciting action moment of the chapter with an exposition on Adam's relationship with physics while building up their power dynamics in the meantime? That's super efficient!

And parenthetically, that little line about the emotional impact of the shattered glass was very relatable, although my victims so far have mostly been ceramic, which is somewhat more manageable than transparent fine glass.

The interior of the house is exponentially more interesting than its majestic facades, even at the normal people level! The multi-level ledges hugging the walls are exactly my idea of a dream cat fancier's house! The descriptions for the ingenious adaptive carpentry in the kitchen deserve a minor, but dignified award of some sort all on their own.

Loved the explanations for how the first floor was designed, and how it functions; Claire's daring demands to see the upstairs sanctum after figuring out she's been touring the buffer zone of the ordinary is very on point!

Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

> The multi-level ledges hugging the walls are exactly my idea of a dream cat fancier's house!

Ha! And here I thought Adam's feet on the kitchen counter was a hygiene purist's nightmare. I can only imagine if those feet have touched kitty litter first.

To be totally honest though, the idea of the tiered house for a little person has been percolating since I saw something similar for just such a cat fancier on reddit years ago.

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

It's breathtaking how seriously some people will take their hobbies! The pure selfless artistry of it is almost enough to redeem a history's worth of horrific abuses performed for dully pragmatic reasons.

Couldn't say anything about the standards of kitchen hygiene as someone who'd five-second rule virtually anything sufficiently tasty, but I imagine when you have children surprising you with new worrying symptoms every other week, many of them having something to do with nourishment and impossibly sources contaminants, anyone could develop animosity towards individual microorganisms, let alone towards pets.

Thanks for the amusing confession!