Posted by Astronommy 3 years ago Report

That ending was a land-a-jumbo-jet-on-a-dime achievement in quickened heart-wringing for that desolate parting scene; while it's not directly relatable to me, seeing someone as confident and resourceful as Claire find herself squeezed into a rapidly dwindling window of opportunity was doubly heartbreaking, especially her desperate tagging Adam with responsibility at the last minute. I may be misreading a calculated display aimed at producing the kind of response shown in the next chapter, but I'm willfully credulous here.

And it's not a traditional kind of romantic tension, as so much attention had been placed on the carnal aspect of her attraction, along with the more platonic attraction of complementing personalities, but finding that rare person who could fulfill specific important fantasies that would otherwise be forever denied to her fully qualifies as the kind of happiness heroines are usually genre-sanctioned to be questing for.


That heart crumpling moment is very cleverly preceded by a very bright and blissful scene of the leads savoring their afterglow together while exploring the fluid mechanics in the shower. So many rare angles and imagery in that bathing scene!

Posted by 4ofSwords 3 years ago Report

I can't take too much credit for the pacing and scene contrasts, really - it is very much a paint-by-numbers romance template filled out. It's a credit to how well the formula works, I guess! :)

Posted by Astronommy 3 years ago Report

Maybe, but you were still responsible for setting up the rubber band yanking the heroine out from her newfound sweet spot, and besides the fact that it works, it works really nicely -- it's a perfect intersection pile-up of Claire's habit for getting things her way, her current monetary slouch, the intensity of the recently shared intimate evening, and Adam's oozing fatalism in the face of the mounting obstacles dragging the two apart, all resolving on a dime.

No conspicuous seams of said template ever get in the way of enjoying the story, too, so there's plenty of credit to be assigned; but I don't like being held to a low standard and praised for really basic things either, so apologies if I've been damning the story with faint praise too much!

Posted by 4ofSwords 3 years ago Report

<grin> No, I would never call the praise faint. I just want to be sure I'm clearly establishing a lack of responsibility for the scheme if it all comes tumbling down later. ;)