Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

It's a bit frustrating how semi-random spaces get added to the document. Some I can account for but can't seem to prevent; others just appear as if for not reason at all. :/

Posted by Ty975 4 years ago Report

Man, Eka’s be ekin’ like that, ya know?

Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

That do be the way it be!

Really, my frustration is selfish. I post to Eka's first, and then from there to other sites, so I sort of use it to transit between Word's XML and the RTF it appears as. But increasingly the amount of time it takes to clean up the RTF here, I should probably just convert from Word's XML again elsewhere.

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

An another diamond-compressed chapter! So many new details on the Schw-A-rtzes worked into a perilous whirlpool of familial socializing, with a particularly venomous stinger at the end!

The ebb and flow of Claire getting included and left out, being the focus of attention and wanting to disappear, trying to copy the gathering's exemplary relationship to being left all alone with the emissaries dispatched to negotiate her compliance with the family standards, it's all appropriately overwhelming and a stark contrast to the story's otherwise intimate setting; the uncomfortable setting and abundant dangers make this thrilling the way action scenes are in action movies.

Claire's observations on the looks and possible hereditary connections feel right at home in that place, the event, and coming from the heroine, even if it's getting rare to encounter such talk in a conversation the way physiognomy was at some time, with the last, and possibly permanent bulwark of that fascination with human husbandry being new mothers, and everyone surrounding them for the first few years the child's life.

The overheard revealing conversation is such a golden staple of the genre, is timed ideally, and the micro black hole it created in Claire's heart was potently sucky. The first real confrontation with the story's sideline nemesis, if not the first mention thereof, too.

Kudos for the A-list gimmick, the enticing/frightening descriptions of the local cuisine, and the entries in the titular improvised almanac were hilarious to imagine as well!

Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

> The overheard revealing conversation is such a golden staple of the genre

Yes! I figured I had to include at least one overheard conversation or dramatic misunderstanding, or the story would get booted right out of the romance genre.

> the enticing/frightening descriptions of the local cuisine

I like this! I just included the most common dishes from my own family gatherings growing up (which may therefore have sacrificed some midwestern authenticity).

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

I believe the family open air cookouts are a universal language: there'd always be a huge greasy meat-cooking centerpiece and a tableful of salad bowls, sliced entrees, pastries, pies, fruit, and plenty of affordable alcohol. We can go to Mars, or to Teegarden b, but neither will be far enough to escape our shameless communal gorging instincts.

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

I wonder if Aunt Angie's ostensibly conciliatory line was also a subtle dig at Claire and "the things she's into" that Tom's old lady had uncovered in her investigation.

Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

Which line of Angie's in particular did you have in mind?

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

The "We wouldn't want you to go hungry" one! It would have been perfectly innocuous in a different context, but if she'd snooped out Claire's dA account and found some vore in her Favourites folder, it might have been the same kind of a stealth insult as asking a recovering alcoholic if they're thirsty a little too pointedly.

Must have been me overthinking it, sorry!

Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

Ah! That was an intentional nod to the audience, rather than between Claire and Angie. I didn't make this obvious intentionally, but Angie really DOESN'T know what Claire is into, beside that she cosplays and makes fursuits, and the contents of the box implying a domination streak.

That's enough for her. 'Freaky business'. And her little Adam needs wholesome values.

Posted by Astronommy 4 years ago Report

Thank you for clearing that out for me and any possible passers-by!

To be fair, though, the regular-sized strap-on *would* be worrying in Adam's case, unless the person expressing concerns has exceptional faith in Claire's prudence and restraint. If Adam had been honest with his relatives about Charlene, the family get-together would have been a session of the Spanish Inquisition instead.

Posted by 4ofSwords 4 years ago Report

True - for Adam, it's less of a dildo and more of a bollard. ;)