It was crazy for Luke Skywalker to think that he’d been nothing but a no-name farm boy a few days ago. Now he was on a mission to save a princess from the evil galactic Empire alongside one of the last Jedi in existence!
 
Having snuck his way into the Death Star alongside the Jedi Ben and his two droids C-3PO and R2D2, things were beginning to get a little chaotic the closer they got to rescuing the princess; of course, that might’ve had something to do with his two OTHER companions, the roguish pilot Han Solo and his faithful Wookiee friend Chewbacca, having more of a “shoot first, ask questions later” attitude in regards to saving the day.
 
Nevertheless, the gang finally made their way to the prison chambers, withLuke being the one to find the princess’ prison cell and open the door.
 
However, she wasn’t quite what Luke was expecting of the usual damsel-in-distress.
 
The main thing about her is that she was big. Like, VERY big. Despite only looking to be a little over five feet, she easily looked to weigh about five hundred pounds or more, her regal white dress flowing over her rotund stomach and tightly pressed around her melon-sized breasts.
 
“Well it’s about time you showed up!”, said the large woman.
“They haven’t come in here to feed me for a few hours and I am absolutely STARVING...”
 
“Hey, I’m not your lunch!”, Luke said, taking a step back as the massive woman came towards him.
“I’m Luke Skywalker; I’m here to save you.”
 
“Luke, would you hurry it up in he-“, the rogue said before taking a look at the woman he was supposed to be saving.
“Oh my God...”
 
“And just what is THAT supposed to mean?”, Leia said with her hands on her hips.
 
“I, uh...”, Han mumbled, attempting to save face but failing completely.
 
“Look, are you here to rescue me or not?”, Leia asked.
“Let’s go!”
 
Before either man could respond, Leia grabbed the laser pistol out of Luke’s hand and pushed her way towards the entrance of the cell, smashing Han against the other side of the hall with her size as she fired back at the stormtroopers on the opposite end of the hall.
 
“Hey, wait a minute!”, Han said, quickly getting up off of the floor.
 
“No time.”, Leia said as she wrestled to keep the blaster away from Han.
 
“What’re you doing?!”, Luke yelled to her.
 
“Somebody’s got to save our skins!”, Leia yelled back before blasting open a vent at the trio’s feet, handing the gun back to Han and jumping in head first...
 
Only to get stuck halfway through thanks to her gargantuan midsection.
 
“Mind helping me out here?”, the princess yelled to Han and Luke.
 
The two looked at each other for a moment, wondering which one of the two would rather shove Leia’s fat butt down the chute; being ever the charmer, Han figured he’d do it, handing his blaster to Luke as he planted his boot directly into her plush rear end.
 
“Can you hurry up?!”, Leia yelled, not feeling the heel being driven into her that much.
 
“I pictured you being a lot smaller!”, Han jested.
 
“Yeah, well I pictured you being a lot meatier, now push!”, Leia yelled back.
 
“You say something, princess?”, Han asked in between blaster fire.
 
“Get me outta here!”, Leia yelled at the top of her lungs.
 
“That’s what I thought.”, Han said as he dealt Leia’s hindquarters one more kick, sending her sliding down the chute out of site.
 
At that, the duo took a few more shots at the stormtroopers before diving in after the woman they were supposed to be protecting.
 
Further and further they went, until they came splashing down in the dark pool of water that laid at the bottom of the garbage-packed trash compactor.
 
“Ugh!”, Leia groaned as she wrung her dress free of what water she could with her hands.
“Disgusting.”
 
“I bet if we landed on you, might’ve cushioned our fall a bit better.”, Han said as he stretched a bit.
 
“Oh, please!”, Leia replied.
“Just eat your words and be lucky I thought to hide us down here!”
 
“Bet a big girl like you would like to eat me AND my words, huh?!”, Han said with his hands on his hips.
 
“Now that you mention it, eating YOU doesn’t sound that bad!”, Leia said, walking up to Han’s face and standing up on her toes for a second before realizing that was a bad idea and coming back down.
 
“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you, big girl?”, Han said, looking down at Leia.
 
“Yes, I would!”, Leia barked back.
 
“Will you two knock it off?!”, Luke barked at the both of them.
“I think I heard something...”
 
“They went down the trash chute!”, said the voice.
“I’m going after them. The rest of you, override the system and close the compactor; I should be able to make it out by then.”
 
“Looks like we’ll be having some company.”, Han said, readying his blaster.
 
With both Han and Luke at the ready, Leia took a rather... different approach, standing underneath the chute they’d fallen out of moments prior and lifting her head towards the ceiling, keeping her mouth wide open in the process.
 
“What are you doing?”, Luke whispered.
 
“Just wait.”, Leia said calmly, her eyes still looking up at the chute.
 
Suddenly, loud bangs were heard as the officer tried climbing in from above, followed by the officer falling from the shaft rather ungracefully and, to Han and Luke’s surprise, disappearing directly down Leia’s throat; the whole play of events happened so fast that the two barely got a good look at the officer before they were so effortlessly devoured by the princess.
 
Their hair seemed to be flowing free when they fell, their long golden locks the only indication that Leia’s prey was not only female but a rather high ranking officer, as well; any other basic stormtrooper would’ve had their heads covered with their helmets.
 
Now, though, it didn’t much matter what she looked like, as the officer screamed and wrestled about the large woman’s guts, all the while Leia let out a rather unladylike-
 
*BUURRP*
 
-from between her lips.
 
“Oh, I needed that.”, Leia said to herself as she rubbed over her humongous stomach.
 
“I thought she was kidding...”, Luke said to himself.
 
“Better her than one of you.”, Leia said.
 
“Well, it’s great that you got your meal, Princess, but if you haven’t noticed, we’re still stuck in here!”, Han chastised.
 
“Didn’t you just hear what I said?”, Leia said, putting her hands on her wide hips.
“If that idiot hadn’t dropped down here for me to eat, you two would’ve been replacing her, and with THAT attitude, I’d make sure you’d be going in first!”
 
“Look, just forget the royal attitude, okay?”, Han said, lifting a hand towards Leia to insist that she stop.
“Here, let me try this.”
 
“No, don’t! The walls are-“, Luke yelled as he was interrupted by Han firing his blaster at the door, causing the rogue bolt to ricochet all around the room, bouncing back and forth between the walls until it hit the pool of pungent water at the heroes’ feet.
“Reflective steel.”
 
“Hope we’re not stuck in here for TOO long...”, Leia said, ending her sentence with another loud-
 
*URP*
 
“Yeah, yeah, yeah; you’ll EAT us.”, Han said.
“You don’t think I got that already?”
 
“What?”, Leia questioned.
“Look; she’s already giving up! I work through prey pretty fast when they’ve been starving me like they have, so let’s just get out of here before it gets too much to handle and I end up swallowing the both of you!”
 
“How many folks you gotta eat before you REALLY starve, huh?”, Han said.
“Twenty?”
 
“Twenty?!”, Leia replied.
“Oh, I’ve had MUCH more than twenty in a DAY, you no-good, good-for-nothing-“
 
Fortunately for Luke, he didn’t have to intervene in this argument to get the two to stop, as a metallic bang was heard from somewhere in the room.
 
“I got a bad feeling about this...”, Han said to himself.
 
Before the trio could figure out what was happening, loud sounds of machines began to fill the room as the walls around them began to move closer and closer to each other. Instinctively, all three waded through the ankle-deep water in a desperate attempt to push the walls back just to give themselves a few more moments to think of a plan.
 
“So tell me, Princess...”, Han said with a grunt.
“How’d you ever get to eating people like some gundark going through a bad break-up?”
 
“Been doing it since I hit puberty.”, Leia replied, also struggling futilely to hold the walls back.
“Being a senator’s daughter lets you maintain that kind of diet without a lot of consequences.”
 
“Oh, so you’re one of those spoiled rich girls who eats the royal servants, huh?”, replied Han.
“Bet you must’ve been the royal executioner, too!”
 
“Never ate the servants, but yes, I WAS the executioner.”, Leia said.
“Damn good one, too; I oughta give you a first-hand demonstration if we get out of this!”
 
“If we get outta this, I’ll be the LAST one on your menu, got it?!”, Han said angrily.
 
Before their talk could continue, the movement of the compactor stopped, much to Han and Leia’s surprise.
 
“What happened?”, Han said in a confused tone.
 
“Threepio stopped the compacter!”, Luke said excitedly.
“I’ve been calling those two non-stop since the walls started closing.”
 
“Guess those droids have got some skill after all.”, Han said to himself before looking back to Luke, who was now trying to break open the door.
“Here, kid; let me help you out with that.”
 
Together, the duo managed to the door open, all the while Leia looked on, her mouth beginning to water and her stomach growling at the sight of the two men. All the stress she’d just gone through had made her work through her prey exceedingly quick, leaving the unfortunate officer as nothing more than bone-riddled, bubbling slop lying at the bottom of her gut and waiting to pad out her already immense figure.
 
“After you.”, Han gestured to Luke with a swipe of his hand.
 
“Don’t need to tell me twice!”, Luke said as he hurriedly jumped out of the room.
 
“After you, princess.”, Han gestured toward Leia.
 
“Thank you.”, Leia said as she hiked up her dress and waxed through the water towards the door before stopping for a moment.
“Oh, and Han?”
 
“I’ll be sure to keep that menu comment in mind.”
 
At that, Leia stepped out the door, wrung out her dress again, and ran after Luke.
 
Han, meanwhile, shook his head out of confusion as he stepped out of the compactor and walked to catch up with Luke and Leia.
 
“What have I gotten myself into?”