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"You ever feel like you don't fit in and the world is against you?"
Don't read the tags if you don't want spoilers >:)
Hey, so here it is for those interested. Part 4 of the Vore University series, never thought I'd write a part 4 but I guess we surprise ourselves sometimes. This one comes in at around 18-19k words so its not a quick read.
Proofreading got a bit bumpy but this version should be good. There is the possibility of a mistake here or there.
Not sure If I really have much to say. Personally not to happy with this installation but I think I learned A LOT from writing it so thats always good. Plus i've been reading books about story telling recently so hopefully we'll see some improvement in the future.
And of course, leave your comments, feedback, or whatevs ya want. I really would love some thoughts on improvement or new ideas for stories! I feel like I'm getting stale and I'd appreciate any help! Love to hear what you think and such and if you think my writing is ass, i'd love to hear that too! Theres a certain thing I feel like people are gonna shit on me for but I doooon't caaaare! Cheers.
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Posted by AnAccount 3 years ago Report
... you're gonna make a part 5 right? I feel like I've emotionally assaulted. Great story
Posted by AnAccount 3 years ago Report
Been*
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
Who knows... maybe one day... maybe one day. Cheers dude.
Posted by Goliath1221 3 years ago Report
I thought Emma swallowed Jack, I hope if there is a part 5 I can fix it or something else ...
Posted by Goliath1221 3 years ago Report
would swallow
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
I wonder if Emma would ever eat Jack...? A thought to ponder for sure. Cheers.
Posted by Goliath1221 3 years ago Report
I'd like to see if Emma redeems herself and makes it through with Jack, or if she becomes even more freakish and swallows Jack, or just mentally worsens.
Posted by Hozomat 3 years ago Report
Well daaaamn, that was a surprise. At first i expected her to eat the female employee who insulted her, after some disciplinary action or something ^^ speaking of lady 52, it felt kinda unnatural for her to call her dead partner by his number, despite her emotion, but it's no biggie.
The whole interaction between Veronica and Emma was great! And the final drama in the epilogue, oh boy, that was nice ^^
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
Thats a good point that you mention. My reasoning behind it was that a combination of their conditioning and training is so engrained in their minds to naturally react to a death like that. But I agree I didn't really make that quite clear in the story so good call. If I do ever get off my ass to make the final part... I can promise that the current plans for it are quite wild.
Posted by Animo24 3 years ago Report
Great story I just read it as if it were only 1000 words. Over too fast because it was so good and nice to read. Keep up your amazing work its absolutely awesome.
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
Gee thanks dude, means a lot. Really awesome to see you enjoying my stories. Cheers.
Posted by henry19991217 3 years ago Report
Will she eat jack?Looking forward to see the next part.Besides,it definitely a wonderful series of stories i have ever read.
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
I wonder if Emma would? Hmmmmmm... Thanks for the kind comment, hopefully see ya around for future stories!
Posted by hatter 3 years ago Report
Fun read. I wouldn't worry about the length; I think it flowed nicely and didn't feel like it dragged on. Veronica was a really fun character from the very beginning and I thought her manipulation was pretty well executed. It was hard to get her to go that far but you did a pretty good job tempting her.
Personally I'm not sure the drama really fits into this sort of story, although it did succeed in tugging at my heartstrings. The main niggle I had is her getting interrupted at the end - it's difficult to imagine her voice getting run over quite so easily by a tiny if ya ask me! But that's a personal pet peeve I have - I dislike tiny/giant dialogue that could as easily fit equal sized characters, mainly because I love pushing on warped power dynamics even in conversation.
Oh yeah, might that Maxsium cameo be suggesting a crossover? No need to answer. :)
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
Yeah I agree what you're saying about the drama not really fitting. I actually started this story in December and the only reason it took me so long to release is because I felt the drama in it was too fake and cringy. Although it felt forced, I still really wanted to keep the drama in order to challenge myself. Over the months of editing I do think I've managed to re-write it into a point where its at least "ok". Its at a point where I think you can still enjoy the story as a whole. (But yeah, it could be a lot better probably).
The voice size difference thing is a good point to bring up. I admit that I ignore the voice issue to help dialogue flow more naturally but I can see how someone could make the argument that my version is actually the 'un-natural' one. Its definitely something I'll think about for future stories that are not in the VU universe.
Thanks for your feedback, Hatter! Awesome to see ya reading my stories and I can't wait for your upcoming one :)
Posted by QAQAQ 3 years ago Report
Absolutely top notch writing right here omg, I fucking love the character development and plot twists in their relationships. Can’t wait for the next chapter tbh
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
Thanks! I hope to write the next chapter someday... probably won't be soon... but who knows...
Posted by Coolerer 3 years ago Report
Is it conected with the greatest magician or his nickname is a coincidence?
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
It is connected. This story implies his career was ruined from the 'Greatest Magician' story's events and now hes a lowly kids party magician.
Posted by SawmillThrill 3 years ago Report
I feel a bit emotionally broken after this one. I really liked Part 3, specifically the relationship between Jack and Emma as they both finally let themselves get lost in their complementary fantasies. The morals are questionable and the lighthearted teasing tone of Emma in particular kept me from thinking about it too much. It was the sort of ending to their arc I expected and your writing exceeded. This one feels, in response, like a slap in the face; a dark and coldly logical conclusion to what they and we the audience just enjoyed. It's like in-universe and real-world post-nut clarity. Super fucking meta.
The drama I thought probably could have been paced better, just because the weight of that brutal ending scene counts on the strength of the rest of the story to carry it. I wish we could have had more time with Veronica; I felt that her manipulative streak was delivered rather quickly and it was easy to predict the direction she'd take early on, and that she was this story's featured snack. However, it was fun, and eventually sobering, to see how you would get us the readers there.
I'm scared to ask for a Part 5. >D
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
"Real-world post-nut clarity"... I like it.
Yeah I agree completely with what you're saying about the drama in this story. It was my first time trying to do something like it and I, unfortunately, never found a solution that I was happy with. I think the above drama is 'ok' and I let it slide only because I felt like I learned a lot writing/re-writing it. (It unfortunately came to a point where I simply didn't want to re-write it again and wanted to move on to new stories.)
I have an issue where I create characters I like in a story but then very quickly get rid of them before they reach their true potential. For example, like you mentioned, Veronica or another example, Finn. I'm making a lot of decisions in the name of the fetish and I kiiinda don't like that. Veronica could have been really good but she ended up being a random cousin that was just a bit too mean for her own good lol.
I don't have any plans for VU5 anytime soon but if I do decide to write it, I do have a rough outline already done. (I did kinda leave this story on a cliffhanger so feel like I HAVE to write it...). People will either love part 5 or absolutely hate it, but hey, gotta keep things interesting >:)
And of course, thanks a bunch for providing feedback! I really appreciate it! Cheers
Posted by Umhuebr 3 years ago Report
I have no words for how fantastic this series is. And this is by far it's greatest chapter in my book! Despite the previous one having the greatest vore moments (not that this one didn't, Emma forcing Veronica to feed herself to her was brilliant, but still), the narrative in this one is so good, so emotional, it actually get's the reader completely hooked (I sure was)! Excited for chapter 5, really hope it happens some day, this truly deserves more!
And I do mean it, this has to be one of the most realistic vore series out there, at least, as realistic as giantess/vore content can get! All the characters are great and feel real, their actions and emotions. The whole world actually feels very organic, which is most remarkable! And, the dynamic between Jack and Emma is flawless! I wonder how he'll be feeling as days go by now that tragedy struck his family, much like it struck so many of Emma's previous victims' families, including Jessie, who used to be his friend. Stillll, hard to believe their romance is over! Can't deny that I really ship them, wonder if there's any chance they'll maybe get back together some day... Also, I can't help but feel a little bad for Emma, despite her evil actions. I could feel her sorrow at her own monstrous nature. Definitely must be something hard to deal with.
Fantastic drama, 11/10! Stories like this are some of the things that really make these fantasies all the more interesting and exciting, at least to me.
Cheers, man!
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
I'm surprised all the time about how many people actually decided to stick through the Vore University series to get all the way to the 4th part. Its like 64,000(?) words of reading! We've almost got a novels worth of vore put together lol.
I'm very glad you enjoyed the emotional side of this story. I unfortunately agree with some of the comments above that it wasn't paced too well but its great that it resonated with you. I really want to practice how to do stories with more serious tones and this one was good practice.
Thanks for the comment, I'm sure it'll motivate me to make that chapter 5 sooner than later. And hope to see ya around! Cheers.
Posted by ClosetedTiny 3 years ago Report
Absolutely deserved, Emma.
I both loved and hated this series, the detail and realism in this series was amazing and you have such a creative mind. You put in just enough logic to make us feel grounded in this world you have created and connected to the characters.
But I did say I love and hate this series, right? What I mean by that is the same reason Berserk got popular, it is horrifically gripping. I hate the cruelty and indifference that was in your series that was represented through Emma, through the scientists, through the government cover ups. It is horrifying and gut wrenching, unneeded because it was established that Emma has food fit for her size, she has no need to be a monster. She could have been a goddess, the absolute ball of the party, the best person to be friends with. Instead, she choose to be a monster. Choose, not pushed into it.
And yet despite all of that horror and hate, I could not stop reading. I wanted to see how things would end, wanted to know just how far into the darkness Emma would go. It made me want to experience the entirety just to find out how it ends. That shows me just how good of an author you are: you pace your work perfectly and allow the story to unfold for us instead of shoving it down our throat. You have flexed on everyone on this platform with your writing and I can see how Bunnywrites is trying to mimic your style.
All in all, great series, I hate that I liked it, keep on showing the rest of us writers how to do it.
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
Quite a flattering comment. I do really appreciate you taking the time to write it so thank you, although I wish my writing was as good as you make it out to be lol. I just write what I feel like writing and try to improve between stories. Am I improving? I like to tell myself I am. I'm still making mistakes in the design of narrative but its a fun complicated problem I enjoy tackling.
Jack and Emma's story isn't perfect but it holds a special place in my heart. And it seems to have made an impact on you so that makes me happy.
It seems at a glance that you're getting into vore-related writing. If so, I know you haven't asked for advice, but I think its important you and all writers knows this: "Only write what YOU want to write, never put something in a story to please someone else." It may seem like an obvious statement but great writing only comes from the heart. There are no exceptions.
ANYWAY, now that I've been a bit over the top and cringey, ill show myself out! Cheers!
Posted by ClosetedTiny 3 years ago Report
Thank you for the advice. I've been a fantasy writer and film critic for several years now, but have only recently began to indulge in my Macro/Micro fantasies. I did understand that my preferences were not really going to be popular and before I even made this account, I knew that I was going to be sticking to writing what I wanted, only accepting proper feedback.
And don't sell yourself short, some people are just naturally good at story telling! Of course, proper spelling and grammar is always going to be a matter of practice and training; it's something that I am still working on. I know that I need even more training and drive to achieve my dreams of animation, just need to find it...
Posted by TinyHunter 3 years ago Report
Whenever I read the comments for this series I'm always shocked that I seem to be one of the few actually rooting for Jack and Emma to make it work and not for him to ultimately be eaten.
Yeah, they're both kind of fucked up bad people when you think about it, but they make each other happy.
My personal ideal ending to the story is Jack realizing he's a "monster" too for being attracted to what Emma does, and ultimately embracing that they can at least be monsters together.
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
They are indeed both bad people. And they both do indeed make each other quite happy. I wish I put more thought into this series when I first started it but I can't go into the past to change it.
I do have a pretty good idea to how it all ends, but I wonder If i'll ever have the guts to write it. Cheers.
Posted by ShinjiIkari 3 years ago Report
I hate Veronica. Cringey dumb bitch. Good riddance
Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report
Yeah never liked her
Posted by ShinjiIkari 3 years ago Report
Your story was great and engaging though, thanks for sharing it with us!
Posted by TinyHunter 1 year ago Report
I hope someday you decide to continue this series! I don't know if it's obvious, but the relationship between Jack and Emma was probably my main inspiration for Nate and Becca in my stories, so you could say I'm invested, haha.
Posted by iliketoread 1 year ago Report
Yeah I'd like to continue it someday. I'll admit I feel like I kinda messed this series up so not sure if I'll ever come back to it. But who knows, maybe the planned 5th part I've been wanting to write will one day be a thing. Cheers
Posted by TinyHunter 1 year ago Report
How do you feel you messed it up, if you don't mind me asking?
Posted by iliketoread 1 year ago Report
When I wrote the first part, I always imagined it would just be a single standalone story. No sequels and that would be it. I felt like it was good enough and I could have simply ended there... ...but it seemed to me like people were interested more so I considered writing more for Emma/Jack. Very quickly I had some ideas floating around so I continued it. Regrettably I just made up the plot along the way while writing the pages, in-turn not really thinking too hard about character motivations and what the story was supposed to be leading to. I ended up killing off characters I wish I didn't, lost focus on how certain characters should behave, and worst of all - at least I feel like this happened - I lost what made the first one so fun to read. The plot started taking itself too seriously which I feel like was never the point of this series. Its supposed to be a cheeky, "somewhat-believable", fun story about some normal guy whos horribly obsessed with a devious giantess who loves teasing him to no end (Vore comes included). Anyway, I know to most its not an issue and a lot probably don't agree but, as you and I know, the writer is always the biggest critic of his/her work.
Also, I should have mentioned it earlier but I had a feeling back when I first read your first story that Nate and Becca had an inspirational slice of Jack's/Emma's DNA. Cute honestly. It makes me very grateful that I managed to inspire you.
I do want to still continue Emma's and Jack's story, just not sure when. Cheers.
Posted by TinyHunter 1 year ago Report
If I could give any advice I would say just think about it like a puzzle. For my first 2-3 stories I was just making it up as I went along as well, I would write to the end and just see where it led me.
Now I like to plan things out a bit more but part of the fun of writing I think is surprising yourself and working with what you've set up, intentionally or not. I totally get regretting decisions along the way (I have plenty) but I think the easiest way to look at it is "well this happened...what would happen next?" and just try writing it and see what happens. If you don't end up liking it, start over and try again.
Obviously, no one's forcing you to continue the series if you're not feeling it anymore, but that's just what I do when I'm stuck.
Posted by WestofJames 1 year ago Report
Awesome work on the series. Little taken aback at how it concluded, but was very enjoyable reading. Loved the way you do your stories, and if you do more in the future, I look forward to reading them too. Thank you!
Posted by iliketoread 1 year ago Report
Thanks for the comment WestofJames, really appreciate it. Yeah its a bit of a harsh conclusion but it felt right when I wrote it. I think I would approach the scenario differently today but we learn as we go. I hope you enjoy my future stories, thanks!