Posted by Justsomeone 2 years ago Report

Cute!

Posted by AeriaGloris 2 years ago Report

There's something fun about writing teenage love. Everything feels so important. I hope I hit the mark :)

Posted by seducingangel 2 years ago Report

Wow way to make me want more. Great job!

Posted by AeriaGloris 2 years ago Report

Glad you enjoyed it! I left it open ended, but I guess you'd like a sequel?

Posted by seducingangel 2 years ago Report

I mean that's entirely up to you. I'd definitely be down for a sequel, but I also understand that this is a one-off. I'm just a sucker for wholesome romance and vore when they're combined together. There's so little of it and needs to be more. xD

Posted by Pheromones 2 years ago Report

I very much second Seducingangel here! :)

I find your story very well put together and descriptive in how it delivers details.

Posted by AeriaGloris 2 years ago Report

Thank you! I might get to a sequel sometime, but I have a backlog of ideas to get through.

But I have another love story planned.

Posted by rugli 2 years ago Report

You should seriously consider writing a sequel as I feel there is to much story being left to be told between Kim and Nora and Perhaps Brownwyn also. :)

Posted by AeriaGloris 2 years ago Report

Thanks to all the love these character's received, it's only fair I give them more airtime. See my response below for my ideas and let me know your thoughts.

Posted by LeahEvita 2 years ago Report

I read this last night and loved it. I ended up thinking about this a lot and decided to find it again today so I could comment. It was very very good. I hope you do a sequel. Obviously you're the writers so it's your choice but what I'd like to see in a sequal is a non fatal scenario for Nora.

I usually love digestion vore particularly if it's lust filled. But when it comes to romance and love and affection I prefer a more long term relationship. A few things I like to see non fatal where she's let out, reformation, full tour. I think the idea of the antacids allowing Nora to stay safe and warm in Kim's belly would be really nice. Alternatively if there is digestion than sentient fate or consciousness merger where they can experience voring people together all their life. Another cool thing could be Kim doesn't Vore Nora but Nora helps Kim Vore people and lives vicariously through Kim's prey. With Kim promising to vore Nora after a long life together. I would really love to see them hook up romantically.

If I had to choose specifically I love the idea of digestion but Nora continues to exist within Kim's mind and experience life with her forever and enjoy eating people with her. Or like full tour where the antacids cause her to go through the system without digesting. That way still have digestion of some sort without the true ending of fatality. And they get to be together forever.

I love wholesome romantic vore and unfortunately fatality/permadeath kind of takes away the wholesome for me. It's hot but also leaves it feeling kind of empty in the end rather than wholesome. So that's really my only desire if you continue this story is to maintain the wholesomeness.

Hell if I had money I'd specifically commission a sequal or two of this if you were open to that. There is soemthing special about wholesome vore. It tingles a different part of my brain than lust filled fatal vore.

I also really like insertion/unbirth for long term romantic/sexual partners but don't care for it as much when it's same size. One of my biggest kinks is human dildo which is safer than vore generally... gotta be careful with those convulsing muscles though.

I absolutely love sexual content in vore. Where it gets both the pred and prey off to experience it. It's an extension of the sex basically.

If vore were real I'd 100% love to practice it safely with like regurgitation, or like some kind of biosuite to go full tour. I'd only want it to be fatal if I was already dying and couldn't be saved. So old age, or deadly illness. Like if I had to go out that's top 3 for sure. Fortunately others in my top 3 are technically possible.

Sorry for the long winded speech and my life story you didn't need to hear. Long story short I'd love to see more of this. I very, very rarely comment on things here but this one just spurred something in me.

Posted by AeriaGloris 2 years ago Report

I must just say, thank you for taking the time to come back and write this comment. I try my best to elicit emotions with my work. Whether through tragedy or love, I want my characters and scenes to live on in people's minds well after they've closed their browser. It's amazing to hear that my writing lingered with someone.

All my writing works on the basis that vore has real consequences, wholesome or not. This heightens the risk versus the reward. In my opinion, vore without stakes is like a thriller without a villain or an adventure without challenges. This is the dilemma I wanted Nora to dance with. If I were to write a sequel, I’d likely retrace the course of events from Kim’s perspective. If 3AM is the why, 3:30AM (working title) would be the answer.

I’m happy to discuss these matters in greater detail over a PM :)

Posted by NightRoller 2 years ago Report

Alrighty! PM reply pending in the next couple days, but first I wanted to send this criticism I developed the other day while reading this.
*Checks notes scribbled on a spare index card*
I guess I wrote these in order as I was reading the piece, though they aren't necessarily spaced the same.

1. Woah, this is art in prose form! The descriptions are fantastic and vivid. (I can tell now what you mean about putting pressure on yourself to make your works as good as you can.)

2. Starting with "The curves of Kim's" paragraph, the "Nora reached into her sheets" is confusing. Not obvious whether it's a return to present from a flashback or not after reading that bit a few times. (Note thought of post-critique: After reading a couple of your other works recently, I realized small things like this are what you meant in the PM, that beta readers help a bunch with.)

3. Very description-heavy, this detail is enjoyable

4. The writing feels super personal and really gives Nora weight as a relatable character. There's a lot from here I can learn as a writer, as my characters usually feel one-note or flat (like puppets) to me. (In fact, I even have the seed of a plan to write a blog covering the character tropes I frequently use in my stories, because some of them are comically/annoyingly (to me) frequent.)

5. In "Nora wondered how many", instead of "view" in the last sentence of the paragraph, "memory" fits better (she's not seeing it on a screen, right?).

6. This story so very effectively and closely conveys the emotion of "pining" to a tangible degree.

7. Ugh!! The ending! (It's a trick I have also pulled on people, ending right at the climactic point and not saying how it resolves (e.g. "Bunny-Girl Role Reversal" or "Fishing Incident"), and it's probably the best way, but to have it pulled on me and at such a well-built tension-filled climactic moment, just still ugh!)

8. Also, this story challenges me to rethink what an ending truly is in vore prose. (To go into more detail, I typically think of it as after someone has been eaten, when enough of the aftermath has happened such that the tension and climax have dipped down a little, e.g. when the point-of-view prey protagonist is digested enough to become unconscious as their thoughts turn to slurry in the variation of soft digestion I typically employ.)

9. Reading this makes me want to go back and rewrite some of my published stories to have more detail. (I'll be the first to say I haven't been reading enough fiction recently, especially stuff of decent quality, and I'd quite forgotten how high the bar could be set for prose. This is both humbling and inspiring.)

And so ends my critique, though the story lingers in my thoughts...

Posted by AeriaGloris 2 years ago Report

Just letting you know here - you are missed! :)

Posted by NightRoller 2 years ago Report

(ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c)