Dr. Tettix Deigns, "famed" internet behavioral analyst, multi online-only certificate aware winner, and total quack. I truly hate him. My mom buys everything the guy says and treats him like some sort of genius. She even bought his dumb books which she says I'm too young to read. Let me ask you, if the books are supposedly filled with ways to "treat" my behavior problems, why can't I read them?

"Uh uh, no turning your head honey. You should know how this goes by now."

Mom towers over me, she doesn't even make eye contact. She's just on her phone while she lowers her jeans awkwardly with one hand. She checks over her shoulder just once to see if I'm looking at the ceiling before sitting down directly onto my chest. At least she learned not to drop down so hard as to knock the wind out of me.

"Now... are you ready? We're going to go for about 20 minutes today. Alright? Dr. Deigns says to add 5 minutes per infraction. So, you're going to be down there for a bit." She slides up a bit further on my chest, towards my neck.

"Man, can't I just go outside? Hell, even send me to my room!"

Mom shakes her head. "See? That right there is why we need to do this. What kind of boy swears in front of his mother? We don't say the h-e-l-l word in this house."

She spells out the word I'd heard dad and Amber say millions of times. This is such garbage. Why am I the only one singled out for this? Amber lets me swear all the time, she taught me the damn word!

"Head up, eyes open."

I do as she says as mom's butt hovers over my face. This is so messed up. Do all mom's do this? She says they do but none of my friends ever heard of it. My friend Diangelo asked if he could come over to my house and start swearing just to see if she'd do it to him too.

Mom's underwear looms closer and closer till I can practically feel the cotton touch the tip of my nose. This was gonna suck, 20 minutes of this? Ugh.

Suddenly she snaps up before sending me into "lockdown" as she calls it.

"Oh, wait I just remembered!"

I can feel a smile beginning to form. Were we not going through with this after all? I can get up?

Mom quickly reaches for the waistband of her panties and lowers them as well.

"Silly me, almost forgot to take those off. Okay deep breath now!"

Fuck.

Please login to post a comment.