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No! This can't be happening.
The world around me is pitch black. Undulating and sickeningly wet, slimy, and hot. And my god the smell. My body feels cramped and any attempts to move takes a massive amount of effort.
The reality of the situation was beginning to set in. I have to get out of here. I'm not living up this bitch's ass!
Gripping the slick walls around me I drag myself forward. There is no light, I just have to prey I don't manage to get turned around.
Little by little, my upper body strength proves steady, and I find the end of this narrow passage. My hands fumble against the slick surface until they find an opening. Sticking my arm through, it's much cooler on the other side. Without hesitation I stick my head through as well.
~
"Oh. Looks like somebody already wants out."
I focus on the road ahead of me as I turn on my right turn signal. Barely even able to pay attention to the song on the radio with all the fun little Lea was providing right now. Looks like she was gonna be a fighter. Normally it takes about an hour before the shock wears off and they start crawling. It's gonna be fun playing with her.
I lift to one side and welcome her to the outside world with another fart.
"We're almost home. Well... you're already home in there. I mean my home."
Pulling into the driveway I honk the horn to let everyone know it's time to bring in groceries. After unbuckling my seatbelt, I quickly thrust a hand into my pants and find the top of Lea's head.
"You're gonna be momma's little secret, okay?" I shove her in as deeply as I can just as my husband and daughters shamble out to help. Couldn't risk my girls hearing any funny noises.
"Hey mom, how was your trip? Did you get me an energy drink?"
I shake my head, "No sweetie, you know those things are bad for you. Now grab a few things and help me get them in."
"Have any trouble?" My husband hoists the 24 pack of water bottles over his shoulder as he kisses me on the cheek.
"Not much, hey babe. Be honest. Do I look like a 'Karen'?"
He shakes his head and laughs. "You look like my wife named Diane to me."
"No way, mom. You're totally a Karen! You gotta cut your hair!" Ever honest, my girls exchange giggles between one another as their father tells them to shush.
Stupid teenagers. I excuse myself as they start putting things away. Momma needs her buttplug to keep little Lea in check. She's going CRAZY in there.
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Posted by NobodySpecial 3 years ago Report
Well, at least Lea's gonna survive this. Though, Diane's gonna have to make sure she doesn't accidentally flush her.
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
Yeah, Lea's gonna be fine. Physically, no comment on her mental state afterward. Probably some acute claustrophobia at the bare minimum.
Diane's been at this for years. Lea's definitely not the first to embark on one of her sponsored unpaid internships and definitely won't be the last. Someday a poor missing girl will miraculously show up on the doorstep of the local grocery store with a new outlook on life and a brand new appreciation for her freedom.
Posted by NobodySpecial 3 years ago Report
Lol! Definitely a means justifying the ends argument. Gotta say though, probably works wonders. Wonder if she'll teach her daughters that magic when they're older.
Also, think she takes volunteers. I could use a vacation, just gotta put in the PTO first.
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
Who knows? Maybe they already know a trick or two?
And nope, no volunteers. This is a punitive practice, so you're gonna need to piss her off. Which honestly would be incredibly easy so it may as well be volunteer.
Posted by NobodySpecial 3 years ago Report
Lol, might be a few students missing from their school, or maybe even teachers.
Alright, so the plan is schedule PTO, then when it begins, call her Karen, snap a pic, hide the phone, and head to the bathroom.
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
Always wise to plan ahead before a trip.
Posted by James17 3 years ago Report
Well, hope she enjoys her stay! I do wonder how long she keeps them before setting them free from those lovely bowels.......Probably depends on how quickly they change their attitude.
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
I'm sure Lea might have to provide a bit of rim service to earn her freedom. Diane's no fan of how this generation has everything handed to them after all, she'll need to work for it if she wants out.
Posted by TheMysteriousSadSack 3 years ago Report
Worst internship ever
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
Agreed! Sure there's the whole "shoved up an ass against your will" thing but the real travesty is that Lea won't have her phone. How will she check her socials now?!
Posted by Simpatico 3 years ago Report
I always wonder how long the victims in these scenarios smell like ass. Is there ever any hope of it ever washing out?
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
Of the skin, probably a few showers. The hair? Maybe a few more. The clothes?
Nah just burn those.
Posted by doomed 3 years ago Report
Ok I really need more of this ! Sooo SOOOO much more of this lady
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
That can definitely be arranged. Shouldn't be too hard to come up with some fun Karen sequences. Maybe even a continuation of this very encounter with Lea. We'll see!
Posted by NobodySpecial 3 years ago Report
I've got an idea. Diane gets some sharp or gas pains somewhere in her intestines and schlucks Lea deeper so she can massage the problem out.
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
The Magic Schoolbus lost episode
Posted by Moxxieasslover 3 years ago Report
i need to find that job :D
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
Luckily for you, that grocery store has a new opening! Seems like a previous employee just up and left one day after harassing a customer.
Posted by Moxxieasslover 3 years ago Report
Cool than i'm the new employee
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
Welcome aboard! Now we just need you to investigate an irate customer at the checkout line. Other customers have described her as a blonde woman in her mid-30s. I'm sure you'll be fine, just don't antagonize her.
Posted by Moxxieasslover 3 years ago Report
Ayay Captain... okay i look after it.... Wait excuse me mam this item is no longer on sale....
Posted by Edddd 3 years ago Report
I have run out of compliments and horny comments, but suffice to say this scenario has been living rent free in my head these past days... especially during work
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
That makes me incredibly happy to hear! These scenarios typically plague me like little demons that attack me until I create them! So I'm glad I can infect others with terminal horny.
Posted by Tyrant 3 years ago Report
How absolutely awful….. a unpaid internship
Posted by textingEdits 3 years ago Report
Paid in exposure. To farts mainly.
Posted by ryanshowseason3 2 years ago Report
Love the Karen vibe
Posted by textingEdits 2 years ago Report
Figured "I want a side-character that channels bully energy but isn't actually in school anymore?" Who better than the Karen to represent post-school bullying?
Posted by TinyGlen 1 year ago Report
I wonder if Karen would let me live inside her smelly bowels rent free! .///.
Posted by textingEdits 1 year ago Report
You'd definitely need to earn your keep somehow! I doubt she'd tolerate a freeloader no matter where they took up residence.