Posted by Rathalos122 2 years ago Report

It an awesome story.
You did fantastic with this o/

Posted by Stanku 2 years ago Report

Yay! Thanks for the ideas, they offered great inspiration :3.

Posted by bucketchucket 2 years ago Report

While the quality itself is pretty good, I can tell you've been doing this for a while, I think the story just wasn't quite for me specifically. And, TBH, it wasn't (given that it was part of a trade with someone who very much enjoyed it, it appears). But there's a few things that just don't seem to work all that great for me...

Probably the first thing that I'm gonna note, more of because it's a bit more of a criticism than just something that squicks me out...
The changelings, including Thorax, honestly just feel rather out of character? Like I get that the changelings are supposed to be cruel preds in this story, but I don't really feel like it's something that post-reformation changelings would do...
Like I could very well see pre-reformation changelings (like under Chrysalis) doing this. In fact, in the MLP comics, pre-reformation changelings did go through and topple civilizations and probably wipe-out a few different species...
But I just don't see Thorax and the post-reformation changelings going through and setting-up slave auctions while intentionally wiping out another species, if that makes sense. While you kinda have to take a bit of an artistic license for characterization, especially for things like vore in general, there becomes a point where it gets uncomfortably out of character, if that makes sense.

In terms of things that are more on my end rather than issues with the story itself, I think I'm just not a fan of actively cruel preds like this? I do often enjoy uncaring preds, and maybe even somewhat cruel preds, but going to this point at least is definitely something that I personally ain't into, lol.
Also, maybe it's because I'm a bit too tuned into the actual IRL effects that genocides have and the sheer level of inhumane treatment that goes into them (i.e., the genocide of the Native Americans here in the US and Canada, the Holocaust, the current ongoing genocide of the Uyghurs in China, etc.), but systemic genocide of an entire species, especially when it's described and used as it is in the story, just simply squicks me out a good bit? Maybe I'm also a bit too partial to bat ponies to enjoy seeing them wiped-out like this, lmao.
Nothing directly against the story itself for this though, as these are entirely aspects of my personal taste, lol. The guy who this was written for enjoyed it, so I suppose that's all that matters in the end, lol.

TL;DR:
Well written story overall, just happens to include a few things that personally squick me out. Only major criticism is that the changelings feel rather out of character.

As a side note...
I kinda have to wonder how it would've gone if it went in the other direction (with the bat ponies eating the changelings)...?

Posted by Sparktail 2 years ago Report

I would have loved the opposite too. Seeing as in the real world bats naturally eat bugs. Personnally, I skipped over the sex parts, but the story was great. While the idea of exterminating a species makes no sense (do this enough times and the changeling will have nothing to eat and starve, especially since they also breed more changelings, which is even more mouths to feed), it was very refreshing conceptually. The idea of voodoo vore too, really awesome. Never saw that before.

Also, Thorax was adorable, he managed to be dorky, kind and awkward while being unrepentantly evil. Pharynx was missing tho. Would have been great to see him being even more of an evil bastard.

Posted by bucketchucket 2 years ago Report

Ironically, one of my personal headcanons is that thousands of years ago, before Celestia and Luna rose to power, bat ponies would hunt changelings, lol.

Posted by Stanku 2 years ago Report

Thanks! Yep, could see the roles being reversed here easily since batponies make for natural preds as well as prey. Maybe they'll get their turn next time.

Posted by bucketchucket 2 years ago Report

Also, RE: "(do this enough times and the changeling will have nothing to eat and starve, especially since they also breed more changelings, which is even more mouths to feed)" :: Now I'm just imagining Thorax sitting in a barren world full of starving changelings, thinking "ya know, maybe doing it like this wasn't such a good idea after all..."

But then again, this is likely just a one-shot fetish piece, so I guess one doesn't have to worry about the inevitable logical conclusion it'd lead to, lmao.

Posted by Sparktail 2 years ago Report

I would assume that as they reduce biological diversity of species, going from the smallest species to the biggest, one of two things would happen:

1. They decide to keep one or two species around as cattle and they look to the stars, becoming basically the zergs.

2. Those better changelings they're creating grow in number get the memo that they're superior to the original changelin kind, they turn on their progenitor race, ironically suffering the same fate they inflicted on others.

Posted by bucketchucket 2 years ago Report

I could see #2 leading to an interesting story, TBH. Maybe even mixing #1. and #2.

Posted by Rathalos122 2 years ago Report

3. Use mirror portal to hop to another dimensison after this one is done~

Posted by Stanku 2 years ago Report

Well glad you could appreciate the story even if it wasn't up your alley personally ^^.

Posted by davidp1522 11 months ago Report

I come back to this one regularly.

Posted by Stanku 11 months ago Report

Good to hear! What do you like about it in particular?

Posted by davidp1522 10 months ago Report

The voodoo doll part is the particular scene that I return for, but the whole vibe of the casual mass murder works here for me better than normal.

I'm always down for powerful preds doing exactly as they like, but generally they work alone. Here the pred's get to chat and act casual with each other while they enjoy themselves at the expense of prey that didn't expect this to be possible at all.

I'm searching for a word to describe the opposite of casual vore, but this contains a refreshing mix of the casual predation and murder, and the traumatic and unwilling dieing

Posted by Stanku 10 months ago Report

Thanks, that was the mood I was going for! Maybe professional vore could be one choice of word... Changelings are pretty professional about it. The voodoo scene is special indeed, it was actually Rath's original idea.