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A story about Jean on her walk, but oh no she forgot to bring LUNCH! Thumbnail from reddit (help me write better)
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Posted by Helena793 3 years ago Report
Please tell me what you think if you read it, it helps me as a writer
Posted by AzurePheonix 3 years ago Report
Link to thumbnail?
Posted by Helena793 3 years ago Report
From reddit, did you like the story?
Posted by AzurePheonix 3 years ago Report
Yes! Though in fair criticism you may want to consider parsing out your paragraphs more. Big blocks of text are somewhat jarring to wade through.
Posted by Helena793 3 years ago Report
Go to my other one, its more complete
Posted by theteen73 3 years ago Report
I have a large question. It might count as constructive criticism. Why was the little girl so incompetent? An 8 or 9 year old would be much more intelligent and mature than her, and she would understand all this stuff. Was just wondering if there is a reason for that.
Posted by Helena793 3 years ago Report
The reason was that she is from outside the city of Monstadt on a peasant farm ane did not get a good or any education other than how to work
Posted by theteen73 3 years ago Report
Oh ok, well I guess she at least learned to digest.