Uploaded: 2 years ago
Views: 12,200
File size: 51.25 KiB
MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document
Comments: 12
Favorites: 41
The two lovers explore their new apartment, and Melissa tells Lindsay about Azrael. After that, some familiar faces come to visit, some less welcome than others...
*****
In the last couple days, a (non-vore) project I'd been really enjoying working on hit a slight snag, when I realized it was awful. So, that was fun. I'm going to try to salvage it, but it's a really shitty feeling.
Oh well. Back to the drawing board, I guess. It's not a waste if I've learned something, I guess. Next one will be better. Hopefully, I did a decent enough job on this week's part, at least.
This week on Patreon, the next part of VoreFans is out. If you'd like to read it now, you can do so on my Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/posts/66716412
Thumbnail from "ragecndy"; https://img3.gelbooru.com//images/01/0b/010bd22e5291d1f4af307545649fcf8b.png
Posted by Winny 2 years ago Report
Fun story so far Vesari! But I have to admit I really dislike Azrael. I mean that's great as she's the villain, but like she's way over the top? I mean she literally does an evil laugh at the end. All she's missing is a long thin moustache to twirl and a monologue about world domination. Personally I hope she doesn't get eaten, hopefully someone puts a bullet into her instead.
[ Reply ]
Posted by killermil 2 years ago Report
Yeah I want that too...
[ Reply ]
Posted by Winny 2 years ago Report
What Vesari has to understand is that they have taken the agency of a huge portion of their characters with this turn of events. A lot of people really dislike main characters losing their agency. Its akin to prison arcs in stories, a lot of people really dislike prison arcs because agency has been robbed from the characters in the story. And since so many of the main characters losing it, it leaves a bad taste in their mouths. I understand the need, and I hope this is going to become a good portion of character growth, but Losing agency really leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Also, for Vesari. When you do things like this you should leave foreshadowing for a situation like this. Suddenly popping up like this leaves the readers unable to see it, it can feel like they are suddenly there "Magically." You want to leave enough bread crumbs that the reader can put it together instead of simply defying all odds and simply appearing there in chance.
[ Reply ]
Posted by Vesari 2 years ago Report
I appreciate some constructive criticism, and I'll take it on board, thank you.
[ Reply ]
Posted by Winny 2 years ago Report
Sorry if it was a little bitey. It just means I'm really enjoying the story. Keep up the wonderful work, Mucho love. <3
[ Reply ]
Posted by Vesari 2 years ago Report
I’m gonna sound like a weirdo for replying to this comment like 4 months late, but I was going through my stuff and it kinda hit me that my reply came across as a bit bitchy.
100% appreciated your criticism, especially coming from a fellow writer. I’m always happy to see your name in my notifications.
[ Reply ]
Posted by Winny 2 years ago Report
<3 You're series has been one of the most entertaining I've read in the last year Vesari. So the criticism came from a place of love. Continue writing, and don't worry.
We're all weirdos here. :d
[ Reply ]
Posted by killermil 2 years ago Report
For the love of the purest and most beautiful on this earth... that nothing happens to Natasha...
[ Reply ]
Posted by Vesari 2 years ago Report
We shall see...
[ Reply ]
Posted by feauxen 2 years ago Report
I wonder if Azrael knows that she just pissed off the entire local chapter of the mafia and then decided to settle in for some hedonistic “playtime” and interrogations.
I hope to God she doesn’t, because if she does it means he loves and protects his angels after they fall from grace and spurn his lovely teachings. (And that the hand of the author is showing, but that’s honestly the same phenomenon in a fiction story.)
[ Reply ]
Posted by Vesari 2 years ago Report
I don't think a police superintendent is going to be too worried about annoying the mafia. Whether that's rightful confidence or foolish arrogance remains to be seen, though...
[ Reply ]
Posted by Bod67 2 years ago Report
I do like the idea of Lindsay eating Jessica.
[ Reply ]