Girl Scouts vs. The Kideaters Association
A Prelude to Scout Snacks Series
By misterebony
 
 
"All rise!"
 
Martha Walters, head of the G.S.of A., rose and looked to her opponent, a rather muscular and dapper looking dragon at about ten feet in a well tailored suit, with blue scales on top of his head and down the back, and white scales on his neck and chest. He was fairly handsome as far as dragons went, but considering who he represented, Martha was very nervous, the middle aged women with fair skin in the uniform of the girl scouts quite intimidated by him. Only her lawyer, a handsome man who graying hair and a blue suit, unintimidated as he stood.
 
"In the matter of the Childeaters Association-"
 
"Kideaters, your honor." The dragon said, his voice deep but also gentle, surprisingly.
 
"Apologies. The KIDeaters Association versus the Girl Scouts of America. Judge William H. Harper residing."
 
To the stand came an old, bald man, who looked like Zeus in his judges robes, and more as much reality. This was a serious matter for the nation, so it demanded one of the best of both humans and demihumans. The two races had made contact several years before, but there was little direct public connection until recently.
 
Unfortunately it was over a HUGE lawsuit. And based on the case....
 
"Mr. Argon." The judge said, his voice booming in the courtroom. "You may call your first witness."
 
The dragon stood. He straightened his suit and nodded in reverence. "Thank you your honor. We call Troop Leader Ana Whitmore of Troop 217, Westbrook."
 
From the attendants a young, dark haired woman stood up, dressed sensibly. She walked forward, a little nervous by the large dragon, was sworn in, and took her seat. She glanced nervously at Mrs. Walters then turned to the dragon, who smiled gently but showed his sharp teeth.
 
"Miss Whitmore, how long have you worked with the scouts?"
 
She swallowed. "About 4 years."
 
"Always for the Westbrook troop?"
 
"No sir... I used to work in a chapter back east, then when I came here 7 months ago I got the position as Westbrook Troop leader."
 
The dragon nodded, going to some items on a nearby table. "May I present Exhibit A, a sheet outlining the homes you visit this past sale. Your... domain, as it were."
 
She nodded.
 
"And I would note especially Dame Deborah Sebille. You knew of her?"
 
Miss Whitmore swallowed. "Not totally... I mean I heard rumors but.... nothing concrete."
 
"You mean nothing... human."
 
"OBJECTION!!!" The lawyer for the girl scouts said, standing tall. "The question is leading."
 
"Sustained. Mr. Argon, I ask you not make such remarks again."
 
The dragon sighed. "Sorry your honor. Hard not too sometimes. But I will ask as a basis if the witness believes in the members of the kideaters, witches and bipedal wolves and giants and mimics and such."
 
"Fair. Answer please Miss Whitmore."
 
The woman hung her head low. "No sir... I knew of disappearances but... I figured it was normal."
 
"Not monstrous, correct?"
 
"Yes.... I am sorry.... I...."
 
The dragon smiled gently. "It's alright. Most adults thought we were fake until recently. But I do know the scouts know they are real. We're you told about Dame Sebille?"
 
The Troop Leader sighed. "No sir."
 
"So you didn't know she was a witch. Certified as an official kid eater."
 
A shake of the head.
 
"Alright.... so your Troop was to sell her cookies. Care to tell about the exchange when you were selling the cookies?"
 
The troop leader sighed. "Well, she was asked about the cookies we make, and she asked if we make them with real girl scouts."
 
The audience whispered as the lawyer nodded.
 
"And you said?"
 
"OBJECTION!" The human defense lawyer said. "He's leading the witness!"
 
"Overruled Mr. Peter's. The witness will answer the question."
 
The Troop Leader gulped. "I didn't understand.... what she meant..."
 
"Please tell the court your answer."
 
"........... I said yes. Yes they were. But I thought-"
 
"No further questions."
 
The dragon walked over to the human defense lawyer, who stood up. He sighed and approached. "Miss Whitmore, are you a good troop leader?"
 
"Yes sir.... I try to be a good example."
 
"And when you learned of your mistake, what happened?"
 
"I went back to the lady and apologized, offering a full refund. But she got very mean with me, and tried to eat me right then and there."
 
"May I remind the court that such actions are in violation of State v. Grunkin, requiring full permission to eat any human?"
 
"OBJECTION, if I may your honor." The dragon said. "The Grunkin case has no bearing here."
 
The defense lawyer looked at the dragon. "How do you figure, good sir? She was going to eat her, an unwilling meal!"
 
The dragon sighed. "Yes, but the law applies ONLY TO CHILDREN."
 
The judge nodded. "Your point is valid Mr. Argon. The objection is sustained. Mr. Peter's, we are aware of the unethical practices some monsters have relating to eating kids, but we will not drag them through the mid based on that prejudice. Laws were made based on that very element, laws they agreed to. So please keep the cross examination relevant to THIS case."
 
Mr. Peters sighed. There went a major point of his defense. He turned to the troop leader.
 
"Miss Whitmore.... do you personally make the cookies?"
 
She shook her head.
 
"So, you just sell them."
 
She nodded. "Me and many troops. We call them girl scout cookies because they are made by kids, so that is what we meant. If I knew more i..."
 
"It's ok Miss Whitmore. One last question.... did the witch forgive you?"
 
The troop leader nodded. "Yea... she said no hard feelings, I was just doing my job."
 
"Thank you. No further questions."
 
The troop leader walked down, passing a pretty green skinned woman 3ho gave her hand a pat. The dragon stood.
 
"Call Demios Martin."
 
A large werewolf came up, giving a snarl at the leader of the scouts before sitting down. He was sworn in.
 
"Mr. Martin..."
 
"Demi please. My late wife called me that."
 
"Of course... Demi.... can you tell me about the cookies you bought?"
 
The wolf nodded. "Yes I can. I ordered a bunch of those butter cookies, because I figured if kids are willing to be cookies, that is a worthy cause."
 
"You eat only willing food, correct?"
 
"Of course! Not only is it the law, but willing kids are fun! I remember one time..."
 
"OBJECTION! The witness is stalling."
 
"Sustained. Mr.... I mean Demi... please stay on task."
 
"Sorry your honor. It's hard to when every meal you have says your a good puppy and scratches.... THE SPOT."
 
The courtroom chuckled. The judge banged the gavel.
 
"Order please. Continue Mr. Argon."
 
"Back to the cookies.... you and your family are are correct?"
 
The wolf nodded. "Yes.... but then my wife took ill."
 
"Why?"
 
"Doxtor would later say it was human deficiency. Lack of human in our diet.... well we cannot live."
 
The lawyer sighed. "And.... your wife and daughter?"
 
"...... we were told about it after the mom passed. A passing neighbor boy saved my daughters life. But.... my wife...."
 
He began to cry and the leader of the scouts felt awful. The dragon placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
 
"It's alright.... let it out. No further questions."
 
Mr. Peter's walked over. He let the werewolf recompose himself and looked at him. "For the record we are sorry for your loss."
 
"Thank you."
 
"Did you inform the scouts of the needs of a werewolf?"
 
The werewolf shook his head. "No we did not."
 
"And you did not ask how the cookies are made?"
 
"No.... I mean girl scout cookies.... got to have girl scout filling right?"
 
The lawyer sighed. "You never checked the boxes even, that list all the ingredients?"
 
The werewolf knew where this was going and shook his head sadly. Mr. Peter's stroked his ear.
 
"I'm done I promise. And I am genuinely sorry."
 
He werewolf nodded and got down, and looked at the scout leader. The older lady walked to him and they hugged. She whispered and apology before he returned to his seat. Then Mr. Peter's spoke.
 
"Your honor, given the nature of the case it is clear Mr. Argon plans to have many witnesses. However we could do the same. We therefore request only key witnesses to the case outcome rather than simple examples or public opinion."
 
Mr. Argon nodded. "No objection to the proposal, we only have one more witness that qualifies."
 
Only one more, the scout leader thought? But then her eyes went wide.
 
Oh no... he can't mean...
 
"We call our last witness, Susan Jones."
 
Oh fuck.
 
Up came skipping a cute seven year old scout, brownie division, with a smile on her face. The court was mixed with looks of adorable humor and, from the monsters, slightly repressed hunger. Even the prosecution couldn't hide how tasty the girl, his star witness, looked.
 
"Susan... you know what it means to tell the truth right?" The judge asked.
 
"Girl Scouts are always honest sir, I swear!" Giggles occurred as the dragon came over.
 
"Hi Susan. If I must say you look positively scrumptous today."
 
"Thank you! I'm trying to fatten up for a neighbor family of foxes with a lot of tails."
 
"Susan.... can you tell us about what happened a few months ago?"
 
"Sure can! I was working with some of the older scouts in the big kitchen. We brownies are sometimes asked to. But then I got thinking. We have a lot of animals and such in our route, shouldn't we be cookies? I mean we are girl scouts right?"
 
"So I climbed up into one of the batter bowls for the thin mints. I love those! And I sat in the batter."
 
"What happened?"
 
"I was pulled out by the troop leader and spanked for trying to ruin the cookies. But they are girl scout cookies, don't we make them from girl scouts? I mean Moon pies are no longer made because they don't use the moon, and Eskimo pies are now called Klondike bars for the same reason right?"
 
The defense lawyer sunk low. The Truth in Advertsing Act. Of course. He knew it was over.
 
"Tell me... you the only one who would have been in that batter?"
 
"No sir! You can ask a lot of girls, we would love to be cookies!"
 
Mr. Argon smiled as the court giggled a little. It was all over. And they knew it.
 
"No further questions."
 
She sat there cute and innocent as the defense lawyer sighed. He looked to the judge.
 
"Your honor.... in view of this testimony... may we speak in private?"
 
The judge nodded. "We shall take a brief recess on this matter."
 
*******
 
"And you are sure?"
 
The two defendents sighed and nodded. "If the prosecution drops the suit.... we will change the recipe for the cookies so they use girl scouts."
 
Mr. Argon nodded. "I'll speak to my client, but I have a feeling they will agree to the terms. Besides, you can make a lot of cookies from just a few scouts, with the right help."
 
Mrs. Walters finally spoke. "Will it hurt the poor girls?"
 
"My dear.... we eat kids. We don't hurt or abuse them. Have a little respect for our methods."
 
The judge nodded. "Very well.... I will tell the court the decision." He went out to do so, as Martha Walters sat and sighed.
 
"So, now I'm sending my girls off to be monster chow. I feel awful."
 
Mr. Argon sighed. "My dear.... I think you forget one point.... you see it isn't just children in the girl scouts."
 
Martha went wide eyed. "You don't mean..."
 
"I do believe you yourself would make a fine batch of do-si-does. And that troop leader would be a massive smores cookie. And given just how many scouts and scout leaders there are.... mmmmmmmmmm...."
 
The leader gulped nervously. Unlike kids adults could be taken and eaten at will. And it was clear she was not leaving here.... at least not before a one way ticket to the oven. Mr. Argon winked.
 
"See you after the case. And don't worry.... your girls will be in good claws."
 
As she walked back to the courtroom, she knew the fate of the girls was sealed. A new age was beginning, and a new product truly born.
 
All made from real girl scouts, young and old.
 
 
TO BE CONTINUED...