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This is the start of a brand new project. It follows new OCs in a unique new setting.
Astea is a maid of the Farmuth family, an infamous family of aristocrats with a reputation for hiring predators as servants, where they perform various duties including catering to their master's every desire.
This will be released as short
but regular installments. I hope you enjoy this project of mine!
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Posted by tgawsome 2 years ago Report
Hey, this was a good read! You did good with the grammar and spelling, which may seem like small praise, but trust me. Those two things alone make this a top top-tier. So many fetish writings discard spelling and grammar...
My critiques are
1. practice with descriptions, so it reads less like a list of facts and more like a description.
A good way to do this is to approach the character description from the POV of the character themselves or another character.
2. Show, don't tell.
this ties in with the first critique. Show us how a character feels, if possible.
How does Rosemary collect her composer? A deep breath and following of the hands? Shuffle of her feet to a conservative stance?
Those little changes will make your stories stronger.