Zelda’s Research Journal — Trip Day 6

Our stop in the Ruined Kingdom was a brief one. The architecture here was fascinating with several tall towers that were older in design. Not as old as Hyrule, of course, nor even some of the other structures we’ve encountered on the trip so far (Steam Gardens comes to mind in particular), but since the kingdom is destroyed, it certainly is on the older side. No one seems quite sure what happened to this kingdom.

I did notice some concerning gashes in the stone, however, and the presence of a singular dragon in the kingdom leads me to hypothesize that it was what led Crumbleden to be known as such. Let us hope the inhabitants were able to flee its wrath and did not end up eaten. We ourselves had to flee the kingdom before the dragon made its presence known.

This dragon is quite different from the ones in Hyrule. Our three dragons are harmonious with nature and serve the three springs of Power, Wisdom, and Courage, representative of the original goddesses’ aspects, and they keep to themselves. One is only at risk of harm if they wander too close to the dragons and their natural defenses.

After the close call in Ruined Kingdom, we headed to Bowser’s Castle. Unlike the descriptions I’ve read of stone fortresses in lands of lava, this almost Sheikah-styled palace attempted to wall in part of the sky itself, surrounded by colorful clouds. It certainly wasn’t as hot as Mount Volbono, where there was actually lava around us. Before we could really explore the kingdom, Cloaky decided to do a side experiment with me to see whether I could hold back my stomach with her inside of it or not. This was because she was afraid of Bowser’s Castle, but she also didn’t want to be left alone in case Bowser appeared. I secured her in my stomach, making myself look rather pregnant.

Peach and I then set about exploring the castle grounds. Bowser divided this palace up between multiple courtyards and walls with plenty of defenses for each. It is a rather practical design given he tends to invite invaders due to his kidnapping tendencies. The main fortress itself is the most heavily fortified. Beyond the fortifications, there are also plenty of traps and guards protecting each of these courtyards.

One of these guards was our cuisine for this kingdom. The creature is known as a Pokio, and it’s a unique avian with the ability to extend its pointed beak to defend itself. This made it somewhat difficult to swallow, as it used its beak to try and choke me, but with a bit of maneuvering of its body, the beak was removed as a threat, and I managed to get it down. It then tried to use its beak to escape my stomach (I had already sent Cloaky into the safety of my intestines by this point), but besides a somewhat tight pressure from the resulting large, narrow bulge this made on the surface of my belly, this did not work either.

As for its taste, well, it was about on par with other poultry I’ve had in Hyrule, just more aggressive (other than Cuccos of course). We were able to use the beak bulges to traverse through the rest of the kingdom to arrive at the souvenir shop. I find it somewhat odd that people come and tour the dangerous kingdom of a despot, but I suppose people were willing to risk the dangers of Hyrule Castle after the Calamity to look for treasure. We had some rice balls since the Pokios were large but surprisingly not very filling and had already started digesting.

I used to have that dish on occasion with Impa before the Calamity. I don’t miss the stress of those days, but I do miss the friends I lost then. Impa is still around, but she’s advanced in age, and the friendship we had as peers is gone. She’s more like a grandmother to me now. Back to Bowser’s Kingdom, despite the kingdom and the castle being named for him, we neither saw nor heard anything from him. That was probably for the best, but I can’t help but wonder what mischief he might be up to wherever he is…

(Thumbnail: https://www.deviantart.com/bellhenge/art/Yukata-Zelda-761175108)

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