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Bench By ObsidianSnake -- Report

Uploaded: 2 years ago

Views: 2,195

File size: 31.50 KiB

MIME Type: application/msword

Comments: 4

Favorites: 18

A fanciful and showy young stud of a zebra finds he's exactly what a handsome lion gentleman needs…

2k words.

Comment on Bench

ObsidianSnake: I use comments to judge interest on what I'm doing. I welcome criticism, thoughts, and general reactions, no matter how short or long they are.

Comments
alockwood1

Posted by alockwood1 2 years ago Report

To be fair, that last section could use a "X amount of years later" label.

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Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 2 years ago Report

I mean, it's clear from the context what happened, and it's in a separate section to mark the transition, so I'd say it's fine (you could use a horizontal line or symbol or something else visible instead of an extra newline, but that's super nitpicky)

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alockwood1

Posted by alockwood1 2 years ago Report

From the way it looks at first glance, it just looks like just another paragraph, and thus some might think it refers to some other group of characters that aren't connected to the first pair.

(I get what happened, but there might be some that don't.)

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Entirely_Logical

Posted by Entirely_Logical 2 years ago Report

I'm not entirely sure this is what they mean when they say that cats have nine lives, though that's certainly a generous number of second chances for someone down on their luck.

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