= Drawlloween Story #3 - Slashing Prices =
 
Patty hadn't been to another planet in a long time, and now Purr had taken her to Pasimgra in one of her shuttles as a stopover to the DPE Academy, where she would take the job as cook in the new student dining hall. After the planet-wide implementation of the restoration technology, her job in the Pred Department of the Tubluan police had become by and large obsolete, and after Tammy, who had been taking over salvage jobs in all the galaxies for almost ten years, her younger daughters had also fledged in the meantime. So she cashed in the pension she was entitled to after more than twenty-five years of service - she and her husband Blake were the last of their age group in patrol anyway - and took advantage of this unique opportunity. She had only ever cooked at home, but with a Salvoreger and two proto-Salvoreger daughters, and regular visitors with similar voracious appetites, her own kitchen was a hammerspace kitchen on par with a professional one, and she had by now gained more than enough experience to handle it.
 
Now waiting for Tammy to pick her up for the second half of the trip, she used the time to stroll with Purr's family through the food court of Lag Enyo, Purr's hometown. Pasimgra was an almost pure Prey planet, and Priscilla, nicknamed Purr, an extremely feline-looking Neko and adopted daughter of a pair of guinea pig people, was a rare exception, and more Prey in behavior. And so it was not surprising that here on the promenade were exclusively vegan and vegetarian restaurants, while those in which Patty was interested were to be found almost exclusively in rather dingy side streets.
 
In a busy square, with a fountain in the center, the conversation between Tomàs and his daughter became more animated, but her mother Carmen would not be distracted, and tuned into her usual rant about the owner of one of the restaurants located here. Not only was he one of the first 'friends' who had dropped the Rojas y Flores family when their transporter company ran into financial problems because of the malfunction that caused Tammy's accident, but, as it turned out afterwards, he was also spreading rumors so that he could bid especially favorably at the forced auction of some of their properties. Legally, nothing had been proven against him, and so he had opened this place with the profit from the resale. For Purr and Tomás, this was an old story, with facts that could not be changed, but Carmen had to put her finger in this open wound every time.
There was little to fault about the restaurant itself. The food was good, the portions generous, and it was one of the few on the main avenue where you could take a Pred guest without having to branch off into the more 'authentic' corners of the pedestrian zone. So business was good, but the owner couldn't resist launching a rip-off here and there, like the one that appeared on the billboard just now. This time, it was the "eat-your-plate-empty days" that were advertised. Who managed to eat the Gourmand plate empty, got the seconds on the same day at ten percent cheaper, if one also still depleted this, again the same amount would be deducted from the price and so on, however, should one still have something on the plate at the end, one had to pay the double price for everything. The last was of course only in the small print, which only people like Purr read through, though. Purr grinned. Obviously, it said that this offer did not apply to the Salvoregers and other people who had undergone a similar operation, and the usual gluttonous species, but Tubluans with inherited abilities were not exempt. What they had also forgotten to do was to specify a maximum quantity, a faux pas that would not happen to any restaurant on a Pred world, but was apparently still possible here on Pasimgra.
Carmen was initially upset when Purr suggested eating at 'Cuy Timado', but when she heard Purr's plan, she went along with it.
 
The four of them got a table on the outside terrace, not only because Patty's already permanently multiply pregnant looking belly barely fit through the door, but to have as many spectators as possible, and they would get them in Lag Enyo. Don Tomás and Doña Carmen were still respected personalities, their transporter business had brought a certain prosperity to the area, and they had always treated their employees well and paid them generously. People who knew just a little of the backstory would be puzzled by the fact that they were eating at this very establishment. The rest would be captivated just watching Patty eat.
The Rojas ordered the menu of the day, and the restaurant employees were not locals, so they didn't recognize them. Patty, on the other hand, pretended not to know what was being played. Rather casually, she seemed to decide on the special, and a few minutes later three waiters appeared with the food, one serving the three daily specials and two lugging the Gourmand Platter. Patty was a little disappointed. Everything looked wonderful, and smelled wonderful, but the portion size was a bit puny. So she immediately ordered the second platter before she had even started eating.
The Rojas ate extremely slowly, chatting about a variety of topics, while Patty was fully occupied shoveling food into herself. The plates of the others were only emptied to a third, when Patty already asked the waiter where the second plate was, and also asked for larger cutlery.
While the first plate consisted of a huge portion of sausages with roasted potatoes and mixed vegetables, the second plate was filled with fried chicken and a broccoli casserole thickly topped with cheese. Patty didn't bother deboning the chicken, but shoved it into her mouth whole like an ortolan. After all, Purr had instructed her not to leave anything on the plate, not even the smallest bone.
So it went on plate by plate, and Patty dutifully ate everything empty. The staff didn't dare serve her anything that was obviously not edible, too many onlookers crowded around the terrace by now. Patty ordered more every five minutes or so, and after two hours the head waiter came and had to admit that there was nothing left to serve her. They had already served her the last plates right on her stomach anyway, since she couldn't reach the table.
So Patty licked the last plate sparkling clean, and demanded the bill.
 
A minute later, a great commotion was heard inside the restaurant. Purr, who had counted the number of plates and knew the software used to bill restaurants on Pasimgra, knew exactly what the reason was and had to hold back a grin.
After some noisy discussions in the kitchen, and the obvious realization that the bill was correct, the head waiter came sweating to the table with the printout of the bill. Pasimgra was one of the relics where paper and even paper money still existed.
"I'll take it!" volunteered Purr, looking at the receipt. The amount given was a little more than three times a Gourmand plate, but the sign was negative. Indeed, after the eleventh plate, the price had dropped below 0 credits, and the ever-increasing negative prices had driven the total into negative after the twenty-first.
"I'd say minus one hundred and five percent tip," Purr said dryly, placing a bill on the slip that roughly just covered what the Rojas had eaten. "Keep the change!"
The waiter and the surrounding crowd were perplexed, but when the waiter understood what Purr meant, his expression brightened somewhat, and he took the bill and thanked her.
 
It wasn't until the little troupe were out of earshot of the restaurant that they started snorting.
"I can't even understand why Tammy calls you 'anti-fun,'" Patty opined.
"She calls me what?!" Purr looked at her in dismay, her parents fell silent, and Patty looked back at least as dismayed. "Just kidding." Purr admitted immediately, showing her little fangs with a cheeky smile.
"And nobody laughed, so there must be something to it!" said Tomás, and the three elders giggled again. "How could I fail as a father like that!" he continued to tease, and the giggles turned into peals of laughter.
"Yeah, right," Purr rolled her eyes.
 
Back home, Tammy's little traveling house was already in the driveway, the one she always carried around when she was expecting passengers. Patty couldn't get in with them, since the doors were designed for preys with regular-sized bellies.
"Did you really have to fill your belly like that before the flight?" asked Tammy as she came out. After all, her mother wouldn't fit in the travel cottage that bloated either, and non-Salvoregers needed the atmosphere built up inside it.
"As if you ever turned down a free meal! You better come over here on my tummy and get a cuddle!"
Tammy didn't need to be told twice, and she took a headlong dive onto her belly, landing with pinpoint accuracy so that she was hugging her. And so the two of them lay there, promptly falling asleep to the gurgling sounds that Patty's digestion was making.
"Strange family!" commented Tomás.
"You're repeating yourself," Purr replied, and with the words, "But I need a siesta first, too!" she disappeared into the Rojas house, and her parents followed her.