Chapter 8
Sometime early that year still in 2015 I felt compelled to type everything down on my windows 7 computer at the time
at how I ended up from being a happyish kid (clueless more than happy truly) singing and playing videogame in my "moms" duplex
in early 2012, to having a broken singing voice, living homeless out of a van, and going to starbucks to draw and animate sprites
every day. I just got angry and had to walk it off and scream. Nice nature though. California is beautiful. Age of Ultron came out a little after I found a poem I liked in a starbucks with a metal horse outside called "the colour of thought". I got the feeling after I got out of the movie and got dinner that I wouldn't be in California much longer, it turns out I was right. After playing Super Lesbian Horse RPG and making skypefriends with Seb111114, I listened to "someone like me" on his favorite songs playlist and was completely enrapured by it,
the acoustic version, but then when I was driving to get gas before checking my mailbox near Escondido the next day. The sun was rising at an awkward angle at the top of a hill and I couldn't tell if the light was red or green. It seemed more green than red though so I went
ahead anyways. Then, BAM, a person had been turning and went two lanes in, his front was crashed but my front was totaled. I froze. I started crying. When the cops got there I was told to get my bike out because they had to tow it. I picked up a piece of the headlight,
a shard of "freedom van" to remember it by. And ended up calling what I thought at the time were still my bad but well meaning parents,
I knew and had researched nothing on narcissistic abuse back then.
I was put in a guest house beffore david payed for a train ride back to Columbia Misery. It was then that I started getting, or noticing,
my first spiritual syncrhonicites of the devil. I had experienced some disturbing occurances before while driving in california, but nothing related directly to the devil. I wasn't even religous. Some images of a crrepy brownbear with it's fur stringing down and falling off just as I was reaching unconsciousness, a single white bird being chased by a large, very large swath of black birds in the sky, I noted, "huh, that was odd." And a swarm of locusts that was just completely out of place that splattered all over my windshield in the middle of the road right outside an ihop.
...
I had an emotional outburst at who I thought was my grandpa at the time before getting on the train out of California, after getting my stuff back from riding with him to the towing station. He had a weird obsession with feet I noticed all around his car, it wasn't art and
I don't mind foot fetishests, I have a little bit of a foot fetish myself if only slightly. It's something about the way
it was presented and the feet being injured that irked me. I said "get out of my life" and "air punched" him near the face, stopping just before hitting him. He got the message and left me at the motel 6. When on the train I passed by a curious town, it had a lot of trees
from what I could see, and it was in Colorado, a state I liked that david took me to, the only time in my childhood he took me on a vacation anywhere, where he showed me the beauty of the mountans... Then took me to watch suckerpunch. After getting back to Columbia simona met me there and for the first time I saw and felt her aura, it was pure black and flaky and I was creeped out by it but I thought "she's my mom" and over the course of the next minute or so the awareness and sight faded. She took me back to yet another apartment (she had moved again), and I didn't want to speak to, contact, or have anything to do with david. I felt he was connected to the vision I saw in that guest house in California of "the devil is mowing the lawn" while listening to Daughtry Traitor. But things weren't alright at simonas apartment either, I couldn't focus and make art like I could in California and the art I was making when I could was dark and twisted, not sexy at all. By now it was late 2015, Just after Halloween.