In the St. Louis psychward, when I first got there, things were not cool. It's the first time I've ever been in a psychward where when I first got there I felt my life was in danger, but only when I was standing near the windows. There was a guy there named... he had black hair and played spades, he taught me how to play spades. That was kinda cool. They had music therapy there and I showed one of the staff this song "mysterious bronie right here with me" and said it felt like a memory, they recated strangely, and for the first time listening to that song I felt malevolence in ME connected to it, while being surrounded by the two staff members, I didn't understand why, I still don't, at best I have educated guesses at the moment, I don't know how you'd put a murder weapon in the hands of a baby but one of the things I fear is that they did that and made me murder my own family. Can't confirm that one though, that one's not fact.
There was a patient there named Dena who kept using language such as, those of "us" who have schizophrenia, "we" who have schizophrenia have to, presuming, a snuck premise. The "doctor there keopt me for over a month and was going to givetake away my own gaurdianship over myself and give it to the state if I didn't give him a contact so I just chose david, again. Got flak for it too instantly, a spooky picture of a haunted house with a blood red moon, and something horrific that I don't even fully remember that was on tv as I walked by.
All that time spent in there were wasted days anyways, as soon as I got out, I asked to sit in the back seat with david, he said he didn't allow ANYONE to sit behind him. I pointed out that that's an absolute lie because he let me sit in the back when he and Meg and their kid were driving to Branson, MO back in 2020. I sat in the back. He took me to a noodle resteraunt on the way back
and then at the satanic house I saw a vore pic that had just come out of a bunch of noodley
snake ponies being eaten and digested. I got out of that house as quickly as possible and went to the psychward in Columbia MO again, there was safeish, I'm having trouble remembering, they gave me meds again, I know that, I was expecting that, I just had to getout of that house.
I asked to be sent somewhere like the gaslight manor but not there obviously since it had closed down. Bridgeway said it would accept me now, for some reason, so I went there, it was in Fulton MO, where eric lived. Bridgeway was, a sad place actually, people were giving away all their ssi money and getting almost nothing in return. 3 small meals, a drink each and most of the rooms had 2 people in them. I was lucky enough to get a single for my short time staying there, because I had asked for it. I drew a little bit, said some gratitude affirmations, for whatever reason I wasn't pursued there so that's nice. I went to a tacobell, got some stuff I like there. But then it came time to decide whtehr to give this man all my money or not, or try and fight to go to Lamar CO again. I chose to try to go for Lamar, so I kindly refused, and packed up my stuff, and left, he said "he'd report this" but, to who? who would care? I went to Erics and asked for help from their family for the first time, they at first set me up in an air bnb outside of town, but that was when I noticed the first syncronicity relating to "Fire" and erics mom spicifically, she was also my teachers aid in shepard elementary school, so I was like, huuh.
Then a woman contacted erics mom, Kathy Morse, who contacted me when the airbnb time was about up and said that she found a place for me temporarily until the apartment in Lamar CO was ready. I had started the process before going to the psychward back in Columbia, after St. Louis. It was a closed down sandwich shop being turned into a donut shop, I didn't like that there was a graveyard just outside but the resteraunts were in the other direction so I just went that way. The woman who was letting me stay there came by and said "we treat our homeless people well" it infused some weird funny energy into me the way whe said it. (Scott Bassett:What a narcissist says to you is NOT as important as how they say it) I ended up missing all over the toilet and having diahrea later that day, messing up my pants in the process too. That clean up was gross long and should've been not even something that needed to happen to begin with.
Erics mom called me brave, I didn't understand why, I'd lived in Lamar, CO before.