Author Type: Gallery User
Registered Since: 13 years ago
Last Seen: Jan 18th, 2025
Views: 5,091
Comments Made: | 34 | Total Views: | 35,545 |
Comments Received: | 31 | Items: | 21 |
Favorites: | 112 | Blog Entries: | 4 |
Warning! The following contains soft
Vore and Transformation.
High in the mountains, a boy just
sat there, on his rock, thinking about what got him there. He had
been a beggar in the town where he was born. His parents had died
when he was 5, and he had always had to depend on others.
One day, he was begging for food in
the town square, when the richest person in town saw him. This man
turned to the town guard’s men that were standing nearby, and ask
them to remove the boy from the town. “Ta
Vore and Transformation
Featured
Besides my Stories, i do RP quite a bit. if you wish to, private message me, because when i tried to use the chatroom on this site, it told me that the name "Metal" (my character's name) for characters was already taken. so, i'll private message RP. please keep the comment spaces on my Stories clear. commissions still open.
Posted by SolidScale 12 years ago Report
I'm glad you're okay with it. I just don't like leaving comments that don't really say anything. I like to be helpful :>
And I'll read your stories so long as you keep trying :3
[ Reply ]
Posted by SolidScale 12 years ago Report
So, I had a look through some of your stories mate. I gotta say they're... alright. I can't write and stuff, but I know a lot about story structure, scenes setting, pace, investment and so on.
Your stories are nice and have some nice settings, but everything happens far to quickly. I spent less than five minutes reading one and I really can't say it held my interest. There also seems to be a lot less showing and a lot more telling. Most of the time I was reading "he loved this, just because." with no real explanation, ya' know? You really need to show more than tell 'cause it feels like I'm reading a conversation where someone explains what happened. "He was swerving all over the road, then he hit a pole and flew straight through the glass onto the road. Then he got up and ran off without a scratch." That's kinda how reading your stories feel, not much describing, just a lot of 'this is what happened'.
In no way am I saying you're a bad writer, I like your stuff. Interesting settings, interesting scenarios and all, I just don't feel you've really expanded upon them as best you could have. You just need to put a little more detail into it, expand upon things more and give us a reason to care for what happens in the story.
Keep up your work though! You're doing good so far, and you have a whooooooooooole lot of potential. Can't wait to see you shine and I'll give my hand where I can, if you so desire :3
[ Reply ]
Posted by SolidScale 13 years ago Report
Cheers for the watch mate! What caught your eye? :>
[ Reply ]