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Ah, here we go. The thing that I was working on before I suddenly decided to take a quick break and write a trilogy.
In a world with predators, sometimes you have to take some risks to find that happy relationship you want... a little story following two girls on their first date ^^
I hope you like these characters, cause I kinda already started a second story with them while people were reviewing this one for me... :)
Thumbnail / inspiration credit goes to this image by JorgeCarlosAI on r34 because there were a lot of girls in that gallery that were ~inspiring~ and a tomboy in a dress was impossible to just pass by.
Don't write non-fatal stuff or dates much so I'm sure I missed some tags, if you notice any you think should be there go ahead and add them.
Now go have a great day!
Edit: For some reason the extra spacing that I put between some paragraphs disappeared, so I'm trying to put that back in
Edit 2: Well that took stupidly long but I got the story looking the way it did before I posted it. Dunno why Eka's did that to it but I stuck white dots in the spaces that should fix things
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Posted by theonlymatt 9 months ago Report
Hotttt
Posted by PaperWriter 9 months ago Report
Thanks :D
Posted by IddlerItaler 9 months ago Report
This couple is off to a rough start. Of all the ways to get eaten, "I got taken over by instincts and sorta forgout you were a person" is not the most romantic, but if Twilight taught me anything, is that "ravenous predator fights back against their urges to consume you" is the dream relationship of many. And they have plenty more dates to work things out, assuming the next one won't be the last.
Curious to see how it will continue.
Posted by PaperWriter 9 months ago Report
I admit, having my work compared to Twilight makes me a little sad, but I guess that is a fair comparison... whether its princesses and dragons, humans and vampires/werewolves, or some other pairing... people sure do seem to like the idea of a partner that could just eat you if they wanted.
Something I didn't lean into as much as I'd planned was the fact that, well, a lot of Danielle's previous dates and partners were aiming towards ending up eaten, so she was more used to eating her partners than not because that was what they wanted in the end. This time she fell into that muscle memory and instinct, before the struggles and the fast regret reminded her that this wasn't the ending to the date either of them wanted. Even if some of her dates ended similarly, but fatally, she might not have really realized because that was what those girls wanted in the end anyways.
Not to spoil too much, but while their next date certainly won't be their last, it will be the end for someone~
Posted by IddlerItaler 9 months ago Report
Ahaha yea, that title was just the first that jumped to my mind when thinking of a certain kind of risky forbidden romance, no offense meant.
I guess Danielle has a problem where she is lonely because those who don't want to be her prey avoid her, those who want to be her prey end up leaving through the sewers, and she doesn't have a lot of experience being around non-prey and building up discipline. Oh well, at least she has free meals. And spare clothes.
Another question would be whether predators are born or made. For the former eating people is more of a true instinct, so learning to control oneself would take more effort, while the latter had to train to become predators in the first place, so it's more like re-training or altering a routine.
Posted by PaperWriter 9 months ago Report
No offense taken, it's a well-known example of the topic ^^
That's about the gist of it! Not a lot of people cozy up to people they know are preds unless they're planning to end up inside said pred. Though, given that Danielle's 6'+, I dunno how much of the clothes they leave behind are gonna fit her... Lisa might end up using some of them though!
Born! ...Kinda. I pictured this as being in the same world as my story "An Evening Off-Camera", where preds are slightly genetically different from humans, being slightly (but not all that noticeably) physically/mentally superior... but they have to be "awakened" to their predator-ness to start eating people; whether that's by meeting someone that their brain perceives as "prey" for the first time, getting awakened with help from another pred, or some other circumstance. They get a little stronger as they eat people as well, so despite her lanky figure Danielle's eaten enough prey she could probably beat the shit out of anyone that came after the two of them.
So I guess it's worse than plain instinct, because it's an instinct that usually wouldn't be awakened until puberty or so, so she didn't grow up getting used to it.
Posted by Matteo42 9 months ago Report
As Iddler mentioned, this definitely has some Twilight vibes, but not in a bad way. I enjoyed it a lot (more than twilight)! It's got enough cuteness to be cute and two genuinely caring people, instead of the usual 'no fucks given' murderers you tend to come across on this site
Great work :)
Posted by PaperWriter 9 months ago Report
Ah, being told I'm better than Twilight, that's what I needed to hear XD
I'm glad you enjoyed the two of them! Having them both be cute characters was definitely one of the goals of the story; (cause the art was cute and I wanted to write her cute) plus I'm definitely guilty of writing plenty of less caring preds, so I liked the idea of doing a little piece of a pred accidentally eating someone they actually really cared about and freaking out :P
Posted by Matteo42 9 months ago Report
It's always a positive to try something out of your comfort zone or habits. Keeps you from falling into repeat pits and going stagnant. It's something I should be doing much more lol, I'm getting tired of the way I write.
Oh by the way, that comment about the careless characters wasn't aimed at you directly, but Eka's as a whole. There's nothing wrong with finding your groove, even if it isn't something that appeals to everyone (:
Posted by PaperWriter 9 months ago Report
Breaking out of your comfort zone is always nice! Last time I wanted to stretch it a bit I ended up opening up for commissions, and that worked well; can confirm that I never would have written the stories I ended up doing for comms on my own. I mean, I did end up burning myself out writing them... but I've been pretty inspired since I recovered so even that wasn't too bad ^^'
Honestly keep debating reopening for comms but then I get a new story idea and want to jump right into that...
No worries, I knew what you meant!
Posted by Matteo42 9 months ago Report
One thing I try doing from time to time is to write... well, I don't have a name for it really, but it's similar to 'pseudo code', if you're familiar with programming.
You get a small prompt and force yourself to write as best as you can in one paragraph. The focus of it is up to you: it can be descriptions, emotions / feelings, action, whatever you want.
I use these snippets to try and diversify how I write + sometimes get ideas for stories to make
Posted by PaperWriter 9 months ago Report
Huh, neat! I know I've seen people do, like, daily writing prompts or similar stuff, but that's usually more than a single paragraph... sounds interesting.
It did amuse me that I saw this while playing Rimworld, so the idea of using my colonists' shenanigans as a writing prompt immediately came to mind. Plenty of inspiration in that game ^^
Posted by Randomdude5 9 months ago Report
I somewhat enjoyed this story. I find the nervous self consciousness of the characters somewhat cute. I think that it shows something about Lisa, and Danielle, since they both want to look their best for each other. I also like how both of them are attracted to each other, both emotionally, and sexually. There are so many good details about how both of them are nervous around each other from their attraction.
The vore just didn't feel like it fit well. Maybe it was the transition from sex to vore, or maybe it was the way Danielle ate Lisa while her mind was asleep. It messes with my suspension of disbelief.
I also enjoyed the way Lisa teased Danielle after she got out of her stomach.
Posted by PaperWriter 9 months ago Report
I'm glad you enjoyed their the relationship/dating parts of the story, I don't have much experience with those so I wasn't sure how well they'd come out ^^
The vore... yeah :/ It was a pretty abrupt transition over there, cause I'm not that big on non-vore sex scenes so I kinda skimmed over that whole part and jumped into the vore, and then I needed some way for Lisa to get eaten without Danielle meaning to do it... I guess I could've had the vore happen with both of them asleep, and had the struggles and pleading wake Danielle... but either way it's hard to keep suspension of disbelief going when you have someone unintentionally swallow a full-sized human being
Posted by Randomdude5 9 months ago Report
Well, I really like voremance, so I am interested in seeing what happens next with this couple, and what other stories you may write with voremance in it.
Posted by PaperWriter 9 months ago Report
We'll see! Hopefully good stuff :)
Posted by TastesUndivided 5 months ago Report
Huge fan of this story. I love scenarios where regretful preds regurgitate their prey and try to apologise for it. It's so awkward and dramatic~
Bonus if the story is romantic, so I like this a lot.
Posted by PaperWriter 5 months ago Report
Thank you!
Awkward, dramatic, and romantic... all the feelings I was aiming for with this one; glad to hear they hit right :)
Posted by AnAccount 3 months ago Report
Is cute
Posted by PaperWriter 3 months ago Report
Thanks! ^^