Things to make you laugh! (or not...)
 
Russia considers banning SOUTH PARK. Beats what it did to Georgia
 
LANCE ARMSTRONG to attempt eighth Tour de France title and fifth look-alike girlfriend
 
STEPHEN COLBERT'S DNA to be shot into space
 
LONELYGIRL15 makes friends with MySpace, gets online show
 
MICKEY ROURKE wrestling film wins accolades at Venice Film Festival. Yes. Mickey Rourke
 
TORI SPELLING tops David Sedaris with New York Times No. 1 best seller.

 
Life's Unanswered Questions
 
1. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
2. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
3. Why do women wear evening gowns to go out at night? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
4. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
5. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread.
6. When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
7. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
Benjamin Franklin
A good conscience is a continual Christmas.
Benjamin Franklin
A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
Benjamin Franklin
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
Benjamin Franklin
All woul

17 things to do at Walmart
 
1.Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. For better results, put them into carts of people ages 70 and older.
 
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
 
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
 
4.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares" and see what happens.
 
5.