Uploaded: 16 years ago
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Note that I deliberately avoided using the phrase "fanfiction." Hehehe, I'm so clever. Anyway, I wrote this up as a surprise for Bitter because I love her. If you guys want to see a scene or two from here illustrated, it could probably be arranged.
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Posted by Anashi 16 years ago Report
Great story. ^^ Bunny approves.
Posted by Carnoustie 16 years ago Report
Extended opinions please~!
Posted by delet359hs56h2 16 years ago Report
Nice little fanstory
Posted by Carnoustie 16 years ago Report
Extended opinions please~!
Posted by Shyguy9 16 years ago Report
It's good, but perhaps a little TOO straight forward.
Posted by Carnoustie 16 years ago Report
Extended opinions please~!
Posted by Shyguy9 16 years ago Report
Well, if your goal was to produce a quick-and-dirty sex story, then mission accomplished.
Posted by dbltrouble 15 years ago Report
You asked for it...
The short story does a good job of summarizing the character's sexuality, casual attitude and predatory nature without delving into exposition. It was portrayed as realistically as one can expect from sexual fantasy.
When Bitter lays on the couch, it wasn't immediately clear to me that she was in the supine position parallel to the couch. It might have been better to say her hands were under the back of her head. Aside from a few unnecessary commas and one missing end quotation, the piece was grammatically correct.
Overall I enjoyed the story and learning more about Bittersweet's character.
Posted by miranda_dragon 15 years ago Report
A very short, straightforward piece that hits all the right buttons for me. I'd say, it's a very fitting tribute to Bittersweet, based on what I know of the character.
I kind of wish there had been a bit more detail on his journey to her belly and him maybe finishing up a little in there, but as it is I very much enjoyed what was presented.
Posted by GenericBunny 15 years ago Report
Hmm, to be honest, it was just a bit *too* straghitforward for my tastes, as in everything seemed to happen without any real reason. Still, the vore and scat bit was nice and very well written, so you get a thumbs up ^_^
Posted by silverspec 15 years ago Report
Quick and concise. Loving the dark nature of your stories!
Posted by eatmeplease 10 years ago Report
Very nice! Being gay, I didn't enjoy the sex parts as much as others probably have, but to answer your question about illustrations, I would LOVE to see both the ingestion and the scat illustrated.