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I haven't written anything in so long, but I was inspired recently and thought I'd take a shot at it. I tried to put a lot of myself into this one, so tell me if you like it!
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Posted by komaru 4 years ago Report
I think it turned out great! Wonderful to see something from you again!~
Posted by shadow9774 4 years ago Report
This was very well written! The pacing felt natural and didn't feel rushed or exaggerated. And you created an interesting dynamic between the characters! The only thing that I would add is to make the vore itself more sensual, and describe how the predator has changed as an aftermath. Though this is my personal taste, and in no way is needed for this story. Again, great writing. I look forward to any more writings you plan to post. :)
Posted by Carnoustie 4 years ago Report
Heehee, yeah, vore from the prey's perspective, especially with quick suffocation, is really short. I should have gone a lot harder on that considering it's what a lot of people are here for.
Posted by shadow9774 4 years ago Report
You write the stories you want to write. If you want to take the focus in a different direction that is your prerogative. If you had done as you had suggested, while still keeping the context from the collar scene it could've made the story feel bloated for the length that you wanted. I hope this helped, have a good day! :)
Posted by blankuser935 4 years ago Report
Brilliant work. The characters felt so realistic, and it was quite a nice surprise to see the change in dynamic!
Posted by Winny 4 years ago Report
That was delightful Carnoustie! The whole dynamic between the two was very sweet and you can tell that "Spur of the moment." Situation spiraling into place. Very entertaining~ <3
Posted by Shyguy9 4 years ago Report
Wow. You've still got it. This is fantastic.
Posted by Carnoustie 4 years ago Report
Shyguy, you remember? Heehehee, long time no see, I thought you'd be too big for people like me these days. I'd love to catch up somewhere if you have the time.
Posted by wolfSnack 4 years ago Report
...I actually wish Reese had been the pred here, honestly XD I'm always a fan of inexperienced preds. But this was a fantastic (and dark) story regardless!
Posted by Carnoustie 4 years ago Report
The thing that put me into the mood to write was the idea of sensual role reversal. Reese is the kinda character I play in 99% of RPs and I always never play prey, so the idea of a turnaround like this is threatening but thrilling.
Posted by wolfSnack 4 years ago Report
Yeah I respect that :) I just personally liked Reese’s style of predation a little more, but I’m always down for role reversal. It was really intense when they were going back and forth, in a good way. I also just like canids better as preds haha.
Out of curiosity, did Ari show up INTENDING to turn the tables? Or was it just a possibility in her head beforehand, or did the idea evolve “organically” over the night without her thinking of it beforehand?
(Apart from the sexiness of the role reversal, the best part of this story was the pre-vore dialog for me — "It's just you who's going to end up getting tipsy at the end of the day. And I don't know if you have work tomorrow." and “Um, if I'm gonna be having a big meal, I better go make some room really quick. Is that your bathroom, there...?” in particular. I might steal similar dialog for my own stories if you’re not opposed.)
Posted by Carnoustie 4 years ago Report
No complaints, not stealing in my book.
I think Ari was legitimately ready to get eaten. I like the contrast where a decision is tremendously important to one person but the other person is indifferent. Especially when the indifference is coming from the pred.
I wanted to kind of avoid addressing it because the hunting-and-eating would-be preds interpretation is really sexy too, but ultimately I want Ari to be marked by her experience and I think a cool head about such important distinctions of life and death show off that experience really well. She's eaten people and it's no big deal to her, she's happy to do it, even if it means she won't have her thrill of getting eaten herself today. For her, I think, it was the same as "putting out", and giving Reese the bigger sexual thrill while she didn't get to be eaten like she wanted. Reese was still very responsive to the pred-jitters and Ari didn't want that excitement to wane over time, so she realized Reese's desire right away.
In the end, Reese was eaten because she was inexperienced, which is sexy for me, but it's a shame when people like inexperienced preds and I can't sate that too heehee
Posted by wolfSnack 4 years ago Report
Also, I forgot to mention in my earlier comment -- thank you for including trans prey (or trans characters at all) without fetishizing them for BEING trans... and using correct pronouns throughout. It's really rare and positive to see. Though I suppose her gender doesn't matter quite as much, once Reese has been squeezed out the other end :3
Posted by theonlymatt 4 years ago Report
Oh, damn that was excellent. The tipping point where things went back and forth was really intense.
Posted by KittyKayBee 4 years ago Report
Holy jeez, welcome back. You've still got the mojo- What a great story!
Posted by waitingprey 4 years ago Report
Oh my, I really enjoyed this. Thank you!
Posted by Slimshod 4 years ago Report
Beautiful. Loved the role reversal, it felt just right for these chars. Well done.
Posted by KavusKazian 4 years ago Report
I really love this, so well written. <3
Posted by Metamatt 4 years ago Report
This was a fantastic read, I love how well paced and intimate it was, you gave the characters great personality and really helped them feel alive. Even as one ate the other~
Posted by Sauvegarde 1 year ago Report
I was confused as to who was who at times, but I really liked the disposal scene :)