My very first vore story. Rachel finds her hunger growing one day and stuck in a house without food. Eventually she must fill her belly with something.. or someone.
I would love to get some feedback. I'm pretty easy going about criticism, so say what you like. Just don't be a jerk and we'll get along fine :) Any grammar Nazis out there are more than welcome to catch me on any errors. I had to write it kind of fast, and though I did proof read it, there might be a typo or two.
Hope you like the story!
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Posted by Demihunger 16 years ago Report
Well I didn't really find errors, and your story does seem interesting, so keep up the good work.
Posted by Rhewin 16 years ago Report
Well I'm glad you liked it :). As far as the aforementioned typos go, I'm pretty tough on myself about grammar, so you may not see anything. Just thought I would add that not to be safe ;)
Posted by Imrhys 16 years ago Report
That's your first story? I"m so jealous. Wish my first stab at writing went this well.
But why the sudden diminishing of her belly? Sorry, I don't do a lot of oral vore, but I do notice it is common in the OV arena of the vore community.
Not complaining, just commenting since my first OV ever actually loved the large belly and asked the pred coping with it be a large part of the scene...
Posted by Rhewin 16 years ago Report
Well, I have written before, just my first stab at vore ;). The big belly thing does come in to play later in the series, this is just an intro showing what all she can do. Thanks for the comment, it really does mean a lot to me :)
Posted by River 16 years ago Report
Lovely story. a few typos, like "flower" when "flour" is the right word. Another point where you wrote "She just watched Theresa walk away ravenously." when "She just ravenously watched Teresa walk away." would make more sense.
Loved the whole story. :)
Posted by Rhewin 16 years ago Report
Yeah, that 'lil typo did slip away from me. I didn't really spend a lot of time proofreading the stories in this series, but what the hey. Glad you liked it
Posted by ZekeWild 13 years ago Report
bean looking for this for ages love it!