Posted by Scorpi 13 years ago Report

Nice story i think. So nice of the mother there to have her daughter for dinner :)

I like the mother eating daughter/son kind of vore stories. Hmmm....if you wouldn't mind some constructive critisism then i would have liked to see the mother chasing her daughter around the place before eating her. But it was a very nice story.

Posted by kidclef 13 years ago Report

Thanks, i'll remember that.

Posted by Demihunger 13 years ago Report

I really liked it.

Posted by Straxacore 13 years ago Report

Great story. Very good. ^_^ You should write some more. I am sure people will like them

Posted by kidclef 13 years ago Report

Thanks, I'm working on something now.

Posted by joeburp22181 13 years ago Report

Awesome,

I love same size soft vore,

thanks for sharing your talent with us,

Would love to see more of it

Posted by kidclef 13 years ago Report

thanks glad u like it

Posted by dimensione510 13 years ago Report

A really good story. All I would say is that it would be nice if it went on for a bit longer after the girl was eaten, maybe the mom starts to watch TV, or something?

Posted by kidclef 13 years ago Report

alright ill keep that in mind for the next one

Posted by Shadow31 13 years ago Report

I personally liked the sneaking up as opposed to chasing; suppose everyone has different tastes, but the way the daughter was so confused at what was going on... I really like this story. I do agree that it ended a little fast, but overall, I enjoyed it.

Posted by kidclef 13 years ago Report

"Different tastes". lol it's a pun! XD

Posted by Gimlet 13 years ago Report

That was a nicely structured story, flowed well and was believable. If you ask for criticism you'll likely get a lot of different answers as different people focus on different parts of vore as their thing. Overall I think the comments so far about it being a little short are true, but short is not necessarily wrong. I liked this story as it was.

My personal interest is in the swallow itself (as well as some interest in a girl hidden inside a person) so I would prefer to see more drawn out and detailed description of the the ingestion, but above all this is YOUR story so focus on what interests you.

Keep up the good work. As you write more you might find out more of what parts of vore interest you more. Writing is a bit different than reading your favorite vore stories! :)

Posted by kidclef 13 years ago Report

Now that's what I call "constructive critisim"! Thanks alot man!