A little embarassed here.. ^_^; I forgot to check for a sequel before writing that comment on ch.1. Sorry. v_v
Now this did turn me on, but seriously, witch classes? I guess I shouldn't be surprized since you already mixed real animals and pokémon. I mean you could've gone the tech route instead of magic and stayed more within the reality of the already established Pokémon/real world hybrid you had going. Speaking of which, I found it a little strange pichu only used one attack for the whole thing.(Unless you count "Swallow".) And the whole thing about pichu seeing David as absolutely nothing but a food item, not even flinching or hesitating in the slightest before eating him was a bit cruel. You had it set up as if there was a bond between them and then you completly and utterly smashed it. ;-; But I guess that's the point... Cruel irony is what you were going for right? My criticisms aside, it was still good and I do like it. It's just that I would have done it very (VERY) differently.
I stand by with what I said before. I would still like to see a rewrite and I would even help. If you don't want to, just say so and I won't bug you with it. Although, if that is the case, I'd like to ask your permision to use ch.1 as a springboard for my own version of the story. I'd give full credit I promise. ^_^;
Very grateful for the feedback! Always motivating to see these stories still warranting some attention!
*blushes* Yeah, I really threw common sense out the window with this one with the sudden witch classes, my apologies, I was still young! Means to an end!
And yeah, I love those moments of "cruel irony" as you call them, it's definitely what I was going for :D
I'm not motivated to rewrite, but, dude, if you've liked it enough to think it's worth rewriting yourself, you are more than welcome to go ahead and show me your moves! I would be honored!
I see you favorited "Pioneers"! I'd have loved your comments on this one, since it's my latest. What'd you think in a nutshell?
Posted by Crushermach3 13 years ago Report
A little embarassed here.. ^_^; I forgot to check for a sequel before writing that comment on ch.1. Sorry. v_v
Now this did turn me on, but seriously, witch classes? I guess I shouldn't be surprized since you already mixed real animals and pokémon. I mean you could've gone the tech route instead of magic and stayed more within the reality of the already established Pokémon/real world hybrid you had going. Speaking of which, I found it a little strange pichu only used one attack for the whole thing.(Unless you count "Swallow".) And the whole thing about pichu seeing David as absolutely nothing but a food item, not even flinching or hesitating in the slightest before eating him was a bit cruel. You had it set up as if there was a bond between them and then you completly and utterly smashed it. ;-; But I guess that's the point... Cruel irony is what you were going for right? My criticisms aside, it was still good and I do like it. It's just that I would have done it very (VERY) differently.
I stand by with what I said before. I would still like to see a rewrite and I would even help. If you don't want to, just say so and I won't bug you with it. Although, if that is the case, I'd like to ask your permision to use ch.1 as a springboard for my own version of the story. I'd give full credit I promise. ^_^;
Posted by Agora 13 years ago Report
Very grateful for the feedback! Always motivating to see these stories still warranting some attention!
*blushes* Yeah, I really threw common sense out the window with this one with the sudden witch classes, my apologies, I was still young! Means to an end!
And yeah, I love those moments of "cruel irony" as you call them, it's definitely what I was going for :D
I'm not motivated to rewrite, but, dude, if you've liked it enough to think it's worth rewriting yourself, you are more than welcome to go ahead and show me your moves! I would be honored!
I see you favorited "Pioneers"! I'd have loved your comments on this one, since it's my latest. What'd you think in a nutshell?