Posted by Lum_the_mad 14 years ago Report

Very, very nicely done! A vore story where you're more worried for the predator than the prey is always intriguing in my book. Also it's nice to see your two dryad characters in the same story. You also did a fantastic job with displaying Hazel's worry and anxiety over Holly's predicament. I really could feel the suspense of the moment, of whether Holly the dryad from three of your other short stories may actually meet her demise. At the same time it was only shown from Hazel's point of view so not exactly action packed, but very suspenseful. Also your vore was handled quite well I think with your victims being dipped in chocolate. I must say, that's a deliciously fun touch you added. All in all, I'm really quite impressed, you had a lot of character development in that story for Hazel too, it was really nicely done I think.

There are only two things I think could have possibly made this better. Number one, would have been to perhaps actually cut to the fight scene while Hazel was asleep, or perhaps to even have her dream about it. Number two, with the vore scenes you could have had Hazel particularly savoring more feminine parts of her victims if you catch my drift. The second might just have been a personal preference though. Still by not having shown us the fight scene you did add another layer of suspense, so that was still cool. Keep up the good work PrinnyDood.

Posted by Lum_the_mad 14 years ago Report

I stand corrected, Holly seems to be in almost all your Felaryan short stories. I'm just getting around to reading the Jewel River Blues, and Holly was mentioned It's a shame that there seems to be no edit button in the eka forum comments.

Posted by PrinnyDood 14 years ago Report

Again, thank you very much for the thoughtful feedback, it's what internet writing hobbyists like me live for. ^_^

In any case, now that you mention it Holly does seem to pop up pretty frequently in these. It's kind of odd, since I don't really see her as a particularly central character, but she just keeps sneaking her way in.

The reason I didn't actually show the action sequence was simply because I'm a terrible at that sort of thing, and chickened out. xD Though in recent times I've been working on practicing that, since it's a writing skill I'd really like to have. If I did it over, I probably would at least have Hazel dream about it. (which is an ingenious idea, by the way)

As for the relative naughtiness of the vore bits, I actually upload these over on Deviant Art primarily, which means I kinda have to rein in the raciness somewhat, though I probably could have still gotten away with a bit more in that department. :3

Posted by Lum_the_mad 14 years ago Report

You should totally write some more stuff! You've got so much raw talent at this!

Come to think of it, She pops up in most of your Felarya stories, but I don't think we've ever actually seen anything from her point of veiw. It's kind of funny when you think about it.

I'd say action is something that quite a lot of writers have a hard time writing, but I think you've actually been doing a really good job with it in your stories. Like the story where we first met Hazel, or driving through the jungle hauling the giant chocolate bar. (And thank you, I figured it fit Hazel pretty well ^_^)

I hadn't actually known you had a Deviant Art account. I didn't think they were all that great for document formats. I did remember you used to post a few stories on the fantasy danger island forum when it still existed. Since it is on the Deviant Art website, I can see why you would have to tone it down a bit more just in case XD. Hopefully I'll soon get around to reviewing your other stories.

Posted by PrinnyDood 14 years ago Report

Thanks! One of my biggest issues is speed though. I tend to obsess of every paragraph, and worse, have some serious attention span issues. I've currently got like, 8 or 9 halfway done stories that I work on periodically. Eventually something new will get done, but you never know just when. >_<

Yeah, I really should do one focusing on Holly, she's kinda interesting, and has frequent enough contact with the smaller human-types to have stuff happen to her on a semi-regular basis.

Now that you mention it, I think I'm decent enough at general action, but an actual fight, especially a one-on-one type ordeal, always make me go blank. But I'm certainly working on that aspect.

Ohh, I thought I remembered your name from somewhere, I might have seen you around at Fantasy Danger Island (R.I.P). Interestingly, it was actually the DA Felarya community that got me writing in the world. Karbo held a writing contest a few years back, and I entered for the heck of it, since I liked the setting and the giantesses (and the vore) anyway. And to my own amazement, won first place with 'Leg Envy'. Just sort of kept going from there, which is why all my Felarya ones just stayed on DA. Eventually I started putting all my stuff here at Eka's due to the convenient folders and whatnot.

Posted by Lum_the_mad 14 years ago Report

That's my all time biggest issue. Not only do I obsess over things, but I also have Chronic Fatigue. As you can see, I haven't exactly been able to write much of anything because the combination of the two... let's just say I'm still working on this one vore short story... and it's been 3 years. XD

Well actually if I remember correctly, when I had my FDI acount I went by a completely different name and identity. I'm trying to be a bit more anonymous than I used to be. Partly because I was thinking of potentially writing/drawing some vore in my future, but my other screen name I had was also a name I was planning to use for show business. I'm an actor too. Pretty much anything that falls under the category of 'the arts' draws my interest. But enough about me, one of the things that really had surprised me after I first read some of your stories was that I remembered the title of your first Felerya story 'Leg Envy'. I was like "Wait... nawww it couldn't be... could it?" And low and behold you were indeed the winner of that very contest! I said to myself anyone who can impress Karbo has got to be pretty good as far as vore writers go. I must say, I wasn't disappointed xD.

Posted by PrinnyDood 14 years ago Report

Ahh, well, it was a while ago. Could have easily been someone else with 'mad' somewhere in their name, or something. ^_^