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In a world where predators are dominant, one young ursine college student finds herself too shy to devour her herbivorous classmates, especially given the long shadow of her overbearing mother.
PRODUCTION INFO:
This story is a collaboration between myself and juicefox. Juicefox wrote the first 67% of the story and designed the characters. He had asked for help finishing this because other priorities in his life had left no time for vore writing. He is an awesome dude, a great artist, and a far better writer than me (I think of him as the Ernest Hemingway of vore, does a lot with very few adjectives), so please check out his stuff!!!
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Posted by Dracon_Kitsune 12 years ago Report
Don't sell yourself short, you are one of the better writers on this site. I had a hard time determining about when you two switched. However, I feel that your part seemed more detailed, at least to me.
Posted by Indighost 12 years ago Report
:) Thanks for the support. And yes, you can always identify me by a huge detail explosion. I feel as though I could improve if I could learn to put details only where they are most effective, and elsewhere, to focus on action & movement.
Posted by Dracon_Kitsune 12 years ago Report
I actually prefer having more details, personally. Because details are the action, the movement, and the imagery. You paint a clear mental picture with the images, rather than give us just enough into to let make brains have some idea what it looks like.
Honestly, I fell that if you tried, you could become a published author.
Posted by Indighost 12 years ago Report
:) thanks for having faith in me. I have a bunch of 1/3 to 5/7 finished novels lying around that i work on sometimes.
Posted by Dracon_Kitsune 12 years ago Report
Well, that sounds fun. I have one about 1/15-30 of one novel myself. If you ever finish one and get it published, please let me know, as I will try to buy one.
Posted by Skittles209 12 years ago Report
Oh WOW! Just WOW! XO
Posted by Indighost 12 years ago Report
Happy to hear you enjoy :)
Posted by miranda_dragon 12 years ago Report
Wonderfully done. <3 both of you!
Posted by Indighost 12 years ago Report
Thanks! Give JF some of that dragon <3 too if you haven't already :3
Posted by Marked 12 years ago Report
Well, I already knew what I was getting myself into reading a Juicefox story. I have kinda a love-hate relationship with this author. Still this is a well written piece and I am glad that you two got a chance to share it.
I honestly expected a little more Mother-Daughter conflict in this story… it seems like she just accepted what her mother had told her. I loved all the sexy talk, and teasing Bianca did during the vore scene; my kinda pred. I was glad to see that she did listen at least once when he told her to stop, and that she did make certain missteps in her seduction; it all added up to a more believable character
Now, I am a fan of betrayal, and the ending of the vore made me interested to wonder what it was like from the rabbit’s point of view… if he was caught up in the moment til the very end, or if he had second thoughts when he entered her stomach? Something like belly sounds or some indication of struggling (or wriggling happily) could have told more than any change in perspective to the rabbit.
Now, on to your contribution Indighost. I noticed that you focused a little more on the social aspects of being a pred… seemed like Bianca really had no friends to speak of before, but she suddenly was texting a friend on the toilet and getting to know other girls who had a new respect for her. That whole angle kinda reminded me of the way that guys brag and congratulate each other after getting laid… so that was just about the right parallel to make, and it did actually improve the story in my eyes. You did a great job getting the voice of the mother down to pat in the post vore conversation. The lab partner rabbit was just a little silly and naïve as well, but hey, good chance for a little toilet humor (Do ho ho ho). So to sum it up, I think you did a great job finishing another’s work, and I’m glad to have read this story.
Posted by Indighost 12 years ago Report
Thanks for this very well thought out comment! i believe that, had JF had the time to write vore stories, he would have straightened me out a little more :) my thought was, this is a pretty straightforward once-off vore story, I would just bring things full cirle and have her understand what mom was saying. I think you are right though--it would perhaps be more realistic if she rebelled against her mother and did vore "in her own way".