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When probational agent Lana Mears accepts her first detail "mission" little does she realize the things she missed in the brief's "fine print".
I originally wrote this back in Octorber 2012 just before my depression plunged me into... well the four to eight layers of hell, and never went back, edited, and posted this. Now it is in May's round of EPWG:
http://aryion.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&p=1604808#p1604787
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Posted by KinoTheCat 11 years ago Report
I loved the concept of the story. I think you really touched on Lana's thoughts and process from beginning to end, and I like that Jana is fleshed out to be more then just an alien that absorbs her lovers. It makes me want to see more of Jana's and Lana's story together.
With that said, I noticed a few spelling errors like "Just me, Jay." And a few others, but they were few and far between, and didn't derail the story in my opinion. =)
Posted by Imrhys 11 years ago Report
Thank you ^^ And yeah, this still needs editing, thus why it went into the writing group. And I love that this helped you to see more of Jana's personality. I have debated taking this a bit further with the Lana part, but this was originally intended as ONLY the elevator scene and it... mushroomed in writing, hehehe.
Though if I bang out more time for writing soon (new writing friend that is mutually interested in this for their own writing, so... we both hope to encourage each other) there will be a surge in materials about Minx and Im'Rhys (and hopefully the origins for Inamara as well), that will flesh them both out more as characters/persons.
Okay, I got rambly, but what you said just... brought it out. Thank you ^_^
Posted by KinoTheCat 11 years ago Report
Not a problem at all! Its nice to see and hear the plans of a writer's future works. :3
I'd put my work in the monthly writing group, but I don't have time or actual knowledge to contribute to a good review of a story, and I don't think my writing is up there with the rest of the writers on the portal. ^^; Its getting there, very slowly but surely.
I wish you the best of luck with your future works, and hopefully your new writing friend will help you grow as much as you help them. :D
Posted by Imrhys 11 years ago Report
Thank you and the writing group's is just FOR that, so...
And yeah, I hope this new partner pays off, for both of us :)
Posted by Thanatos2k 11 years ago Report
Hey this is really good
Posted by Imrhys 11 years ago Report
Thank you.
Posted by Dudeox05 11 years ago Report
You make awesome works of writing, Imrhys! It's a great piece, albeit with some minor typos.
Posted by Imrhys 11 years ago Report
yeaaaah, I know about the typos. I submitted it to the writing group just for those. And thank you for the compliment :)
Posted by Dudeox05 11 years ago Report
You're very welcome! I found it awesome. I couldn't help but read some of the quotes in the voice of Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, which made me laugh a number of times. :)
Posted by Imrhys 11 years ago Report
LMAO, yeah, me too as i wrote them :D