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Hiding Place By Radijs -- Report

Uploaded: 10 years ago

Views: 7,262

File size: 9.73 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 4

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A college student is forced to endure a rather strange gift or prank from her roommate.

My first story not primarily featuring unbirth. Though I've got some planned in a later chapter

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Comments
Chaos

Posted by Chaos 10 years ago Report

Nice job, it was a great story with an interesting premise. I liked the explanation about what a Compression torque is.

Radijs

Posted by Radijs 10 years ago Report

It was mostly a note to myself. But while I was writing I realized that I couldn't really explain it through the story without really making it look like exposition. So I left it in.

Nightcrawler99

Posted by Nightcrawler99 10 years ago Report

Simply amazing Radijs. Can't wait for the next part. ;3

vulwulf

Posted by vulwulf 10 years ago Report

Nice though I think I should mention a couple things, at the start is wasn't clear the "I" was a female, possibly the effect of first person view. May want to make it more clear, Though I honestly think third person view would be best, you could experiment making a third and fist person view to see what people like better.