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Vinyl's Nasty Habits (RP) By InvalidResponse -- Report

This is a cleaned up version of an RP I did with TrixietheVoracious. Trixie played the part of Vinyl and I was, of course, Ray. The log is written in present tense, which may be a bit awkward to read, but I'm fairly sure that I fixed up all the major grammatical errors.

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TrixietheVoracious

Posted by TrixietheVoracious 7 years ago Report

Nghh that was fun x3

InvalidResponse

Posted by InvalidResponse 7 years ago Report

Oh yeah.

Redpod

Posted by Redpod 7 years ago Report

nice

Pretavi

Posted by Pretavi 7 years ago Report

Oh, so close to being wonderful. There's just one problem..

A very, nasty problem..

InvalidResponse

Posted by InvalidResponse 7 years ago Report

Not a fan of disposal?

Pretavi

Posted by Pretavi 7 years ago Report

You could say that, yeah.

jak123

Posted by jak123 6 years ago Report

awesome just could of done with some more detailing about vinyl and a masturbation scene

InvalidResponse

Posted by InvalidResponse 6 years ago Report

This was an RP log. I wasn't controlling vinyl.

TrixietheVoracious

Posted by TrixietheVoracious 6 years ago Report

*neighs in your face*

Speedyblupi

Posted by Speedyblupi 5 years ago Report

Your tenses are all over the place for almost the entire story. You keep switching between past and present tense within sentences, and it really breaks the flow, at least for me.