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So, forget everything I said about number of chapters and consistency and all that garbage.
This one ended up being almost twice as long as the others.
More stuff coming... eventually. This chapter took a lot out of me. Probably 8-10 hours over three or four days.
That said, hope you enjoy it!
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Posted by glargicus 10 years ago Report
Great work as always, can't wait for the next part. The only bit I didn't care for was the sloppy eating, but that only due to my own personal preferences, I just can't help but think how difficult it would be to clean up after in reality. But that's not really a reflection on your writing, just on personal tastes, which in such a diverse fetish, will never line up exactly.
Posted by Argh 10 years ago Report
My god, I can't believe how good this is.
Posted by bela 10 years ago Report
You are the master of inuendo
Posted by straightup2006 10 years ago Report
I had to stop at intervals to appreciate your use of language in this one; man, it's good. I mean, yeah, like Glargicus, I'm not big on messy-eating either, but the way you describe how absorbed August is with her body, and the appreciate way he perceives her is awesome. I had actually completely forgotten Jen was a character you had used before until I noticed which folder it was in. And perhaps it's because Bela said it first, but I couldn't help but read everything with double the meaning.
You know, one of these days I won't have so damn much to do and I'll be able to write actual criticisms, like a good-hearted 'gent that enjoys his fatties as much as he enjoys quality writing, but for now--
--thank you for this. It's good to see you writing again.
Posted by Argh 10 years ago Report
I've reread this dozens of times and it only gets sexier. Can't wait for chapter 4!