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Toiletica Chapter 1 By RainArt -- Report

Uploaded: 9 years ago

Views: 4,590

File size: 52.88 KiB

MIME Type: application/rtf

Comments: 24

Favorites: 24

My first attempt at erotic fiction...

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DRayElliott

Posted by DRayElliott 9 years ago Report

This was...interesting.

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 9 years ago Report

Thank for commenting! Is there anything you'd like to see in the future?

ken115

Posted by ken115 9 years ago Report

this is a good story but the text should have a space after a full stop so we can read it better, just letting you know so when you do more stories they will have a better layout for everyone to read.

Critchett

Posted by Critchett 9 years ago Report

Where are you seeing the needed space? Every sentence I see has a space after it.
Also, things read a lot easier if downloaded and read as an rtf in a comfortable Word environment, I really recommend that. The text-display on our site here could be a lot better.

ken115

Posted by ken115 9 years ago Report

when I say a space I mean have a small gap from one where the full stop is and where the start of the next line is so people won't get a headache reading it or lose where they are reading up to.

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 9 years ago Report

I didn't know how it was going to look when I posted it... Could you link me to a story that has a format that you like so I can what it looks like?

ken115

Posted by ken115 9 years ago Report

like this https://aryion.com/g4/view/339060

ken115

Posted by ken115 9 years ago Report

or like this https://aryion.com/g4/view/333144

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 9 years ago Report

Thank you! I see what you mean now, and I'll try to do something closer to those next story.

Critchett

Posted by Critchett 9 years ago Report

Absolutely one of my favorite short stories I've read. It's like you read my mind. =)

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 9 years ago Report

Thank you! I'm glad you that like it! Should be more to come I hope.

ShadesofBlack

Posted by ShadesofBlack 9 years ago Report

My goodness, that was hot! The way she teased it, flushing her clothes as if it was a normal way to flirt, wondering the whole time why... it was amazing and delicious to read!

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 9 years ago Report

Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

ShadesofBlack

Posted by ShadesofBlack 9 years ago Report

Thinking about this again, dangit. The flirty, vorish dynamic she has with this toilet! And with her clothes, saying bye bye to them and such. It's like how I fantasize about acting with my spouse, put either of us in either role, then have objects and/or people as the clothes. And the dialog sounds almost like her clothes are people. She's in this mode of having fun and being silly treating objects as if they were sentient (not quite understanding that she's in that mode because one of them is) but it also speaks to my inanimate TF fetish on so many levels, not even counting that the romance partner she's feeding the things to is a toilet. They might as well be two humans and a bed, and the flushed things a plate of chocolate dipped strawberries or a set of sex toys for how she acts with them.
My goodness, I'm in a rambley mood.

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 8 years ago Report

Ah! It has taken me far to long to respond to this! I'm sorry.
As the writer, I'm really glad that you're thinking so much about this. And you have a really interesting interpretation of the story too. It wasn't something that I had on my mind when I was writing it, but it does seem to fit pretty well.
I'll have to keep that in mind for future stories. I had actually planned on making things far more explicit, but I wasn't sure how people would react to what I had in mind. Having read your reply though, it makes me think I could use the things I left out of this story in a new one.

unicorn

Posted by unicorn 8 years ago Report

Wow, this is great! Wonderful writing, really uh... sucks the reader in :P

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 8 years ago Report

Thank you! I'm very happy that you enjoyed it.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 8 years ago Report

This was very very good. Your level of detail and the raw sensuality of some of your descriptions is absolutely enviable. Fantastic work.

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 8 years ago Report

Wow, thank you!

blackking

Posted by blackking 7 years ago Report

Intrusive, very erotic
though I do have a question if you were to do a chapter two would it continue with Celina and her new mother or would you have a similar setup to this story and ad another girl to the pot so to speak

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 7 years ago Report

The second part, as it is right now, is focused on two new girls. But this isn't the last we've heard of Celina though.

mifigor19

Posted by mifigor19 6 years ago Report

I sometimes wish I was in her place

RainArt

Posted by RainArt 6 years ago Report

It'd be interesting, wouldn't it?

mifigor19

Posted by mifigor19 6 years ago Report

Yes