Archive > Humbug > Pred Quest 3 > The game itself > Pred Quest 3-130
Click here to see the original full-sized image.
Item
Add to favorites | Full Size | Download
< < Previous   Next > >
Pred Quest 3-130 By Humbug

>> Continue.

"Well that was fun," Chrysanthemum says, licking her lips. "You guys win, I guess. Great job! Real smart pulling the fire alarm or whatever you did so I didn't have time to digest and free up some room. It wasn't against the rules, so...clever thinking!"
The three sorority members are at first surprised she realized they were responsible for this and then relieved that she took it in stride.
"Okay. So. Uh...how are we getting home? We can't stay in the parking lot overnight."
All heads turn to Priscilla, who voiced this query.
"I'm...uh...gonna sit here in the parking lot for a bit," Chrysanthemum says, looking at her stomach full of eight entire squirming people.
Renée looks to Priscilla and says, "You're the only one able to reach the steering wheel. If we can fit me in past the doors, I can lie on the back seat. Leslie...SHOULD be able to get into the front, but you might have to help her, Priscilla."
"I was afraid of that..." the otter says, looking crestfallen. "Maaaaan, I hate cars."

Over time, the four college kids manage to break down and melt the seventeen ponies they devoured over the course of a couple hours. Leslie gets some belly pudge, and she finds her more feminine assets increased to some degree.
Renée gets dumpy all over, similar to how Liz ended up on the last Raid. She refuses Zee's workout routine, instead saying she'll take care of it herself.
Priscilla's body doesn't change TOO much. Her tail gets a bit thicker, and she finds a bit more flab under her arms than she used to have, but ultimately her metabolism works off the two ponies she swallowed near the end pretty well.
Chrysanthemum, with the eight she snarfed, definitely grows in girth. She seems pretty happy with it, though. "Just more of me to love!" she says if anybody asks or comments.

ROTHSMUND HORSE CLUB RAID COMPLETED!

GOT 1,500 REPUTATION! (3,100 remaining)

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:
Rivals no more!: Gained the respect of a former Rival.

NOTE: All ponies belong to Hasbro.
Scribe Pen belongs to  eissen. Blitz Flame belongs to  AshtonWolfe. Chrysanthemum belongs to  goldenheart. Optica belonged to  optica.

NOTE: Raids will be shorter than this one from now on. Unless they're really special, but you'll know if that's the case.

OPTIONS:

https://www.strawpoll.me/15505399

NOTE: Voting ended at 4:10 p.m. EST. The results are as-follow:

Free Agent: 1-67 (67 votes)
Raid: 68-95 (28 votes)

Result: 72 (Pi Phi Chi Raid.)

Comment on Pred Quest 3-130

Please login to post a comment.

Comments
Kasra

Posted by Kasra 3 months ago

Ha! What a nice way to wrap things up. "Where are they now" epilogues have never been quite like this!

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 3 months ago

Glad you liked that detail. XD

TaciturnTiger

Posted by TaciturnTiger 3 months ago

Not sure if I enjoy Leslie's food-coma coming out of the car, or Leslie's sleeping it off more. But both poses are super-cute. Yay team~! :D

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 3 months ago

Haha, happy you liked that stuff. :D

Graywolf18

Posted by Graywolf18 3 months ago

Ouch, genetics slapped Renee right in the mouth. :/

And what a good sport Crys was. Such a nice dergo. :)

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 3 months ago

Yup! Also lack of physical activity.

And true! Though she's a changeling, not a dragon. :)

Graywolf18

Posted by Graywolf18 3 months ago

And thus the intentional misspelling, I wasn't 100% sure on the dragon bit. :/

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 3 months ago

Ah, okay. :D

joshfang96

Posted by joshfang96 3 months ago

Yay! This has been one awesome pred quest Raid event
ever! Love the digestion sequences. Best part of the vore series.

But alas, my favorite pony Fluttershy(and applejack)
has been reduced to nothing but gut sludge....
But on the bright side, at least they look better this way as Fluttterfat and Applefat.XD

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 3 months ago

Glad you liked it so much! :D

AshtonWolfe

Posted by AshtonWolfe 3 months ago

Poor Blitz, keeps getting ate by those who are just so dang hungry. Looooving Chrysanthemum at the end there, quite a soft looking bug she is now~

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 3 months ago

Curses!

And glad you liked that. I was super happy with how her scenes turned out. :D

takugenji

Posted by takugenji 2 months ago

You okay if I give a critique of this arc?

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 2 months ago

If you want. I'd be shocked if the criticisms weren't stuff I already thought myself, though. lol

takugenji

Posted by takugenji 2 months ago

SO to start off, you have no real issues with poses, for the most part. I'm not really someone who could help there so it all looks good to me. Something that I did enjoy was most of Renee's part. There is something about setting up traps that always has appealed to me. The beginning of Renee's part where she talks about the saddle being part of history and being racist was a great little bit of world building.

Now I'm not too sure but at one point Rarity was your favorite and Fluttershy was your least. If that is still the case then it is a little hard to tell if the different ways Renee and Leslie react to them is their actual personality or a little bit of author bias. And of course Rarity gives generously in some important areas while Fluttershy is selfish and just makes it blah. (Honestly Rarity is my favorite)

The things that could be improved here are the backgrounds. Some of them don't seem to be consistent with things that were around in other shots. Backgrounds can really help flesh out the scenarios and add depths that you can't particularly get with just writing. It allows you to show distance as well. Specifically in the Rarity part, I was having trouble telling how far the others were away. Some of the dialog also fell a little flat in places. Especially Twilights. I feel like if you had dropped one of the main 6 ponies like Applejack or Fluttershy you could have easily shown what she meant as most people would be able to notice the disappearance and put two and two together.

Now I also saw a lot of points where things could be made more interesting, I guess is the word. I'm not sure if magic actually exists in the world but including unicorns and not giving them some innate inner magic(even if they can't ever use it) just seems wrong. The point I'm thinking of right now is when Leslie gets tazzed. Rarity being inside her, should have also felt the shock. Maybe that makes some sort of inner magic happen and she ends up becoming sentient and/or sapient fat? I'm not entirely sure about the stats, but Leslie seems to be a little on the less adaptable side here. She seemed to only have 1 way of take down, while Renee had traps she could set anywhere. So I think Rarity (as sentient boob fat) could help her out with a few extra rolls just in case Leslie fails a roll or two. Maybe in the end, science can bring rarity back... And Leslie can become friends with her....or just snarf her again. Either one.

I'm pretty much giving the a 5.5 to a 6. Some points needed help a bit but overall, it was okay. Again I'm not really much of a anatomy buff so I can't really tell if any anatomy seemed off. There were some parts that I personally got annoyed at but didn't subtract anything from the score because they were more nitpiks. The biggest nitpik for me is that Chloroform takes more than just 5 seconds to actually activate. I've always hated Hollywood for that. It actually usually takes at the least 20 seconds, sometimes even longer. Another nitpik is the art gallery Rarity was in should have had a fairly harder time for success. Art gallery's echo a lot, almost entirely impossible to be quiet. You could have remedied this by making the other two notice and have them mistake Leslie as kissing Rarity. Although that isn't something that needed to be done. I just think it would have been a bit more realistic. My last nitpik though is that the prey all seemed incredibly stupid. I do find mildly intelligent prey to be more interesting but I understand that this is how stories go sometimes.

Anyway sorry for the long post. But I do like to be thorough.

takugenji

Posted by takugenji 2 months ago

also don't know if you usually do disposal or not. But gonna have to sit that one out. Not particularly a fan of disposal(being a janitor means I already have to see a lot of shit... I don't want see any more) Not really a fan of fatal either but if used in a story it is okay. I like the idea that it can be done again with the partner.

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 2 months ago

A number of these criticisms seem to be personal preference, particularly with the source material which I made sure to take , so I won't worry about addressing those too much other than to say, "Yeah, my vore tastes are pretty mundane compared to what they could be."

So let's see...part of that difference in perspective was author bias, but it was also partly that Renée's meaner than Leslie. If Priscilla got Fluttershy, it'd be a lot more low-key, though I might throw in some flippant stuff as an author regardless.
I'm trash at backgrounds. That I included them at all is pushing my comfort zone. I'll get better as time goes on, but yes. You are absolutely correct that they were bad.
Near the end, I was just trying to finish it because I'd gotten tired of it and the couple of Bronies in the community who wanted to protect their waifus, so yeah. I'm sure the dialogue was flat and rushed near the end. I was also operating under the principle that this wasn't really about the ponies themselves, and that they were only pawns in the sorority's and Chrysanthemum's bet.
Magic doesn't exist in this world. Unicorns are only special in that they have an extra bit of natural defense on their foreheads.
Didn't know that about chloroform, but I probably wouldn't have changed it anyway. I try to operate this under some degree of cartoon rules (this applies to the "stupid prey" criticism as well), so a lot of things that may not make sense are because real-world properties don't fully apply, and humor, tropes, and convenience take over. The narrative and emotional response matter more than the details: That's what people mean when they say "Cartoon logic."
You're right about the art gallery. That would've been a better situation. I also planned on having Leslie masquerade as Rarity to lure people in (her main strength is social ability, so her lies are more deadly than her chloroform), but I just kind of forgot. There's a lot to keep track of when running something like this by one's self in addition to all the other art I'm doing.

I don't do scat, reformation, or non-fatal vore unless paid an additional fee on top of what's already being commissioned, so that's why you didn't see any of that stuff.

Thanks for your thoughts. Glad you could find some enjoyment in it, even if the vore focus obviously wasn't what you personally enjoy.

takugenji

Posted by takugenji 2 months ago

I'm sorry to hear that a lot of people were harassing you about their Waifu's. Honestly I love Rarity but vore is a fetish firstly. It isn't to be taken seriously. Wish more people understood that. I kind of assumed that Renee was a bit meaner but it was getting harder to tell later on (especially at the spitfire and Fleetfoot part. That almost felt more like a pred just being a pred.) There was a few clues early on during the Rarity part that Leslie's weapon of choice was more social.

But anyway, I gave my critique, so I'm probably going to be leaving. No offense to you but if I stay too much longer I might get attached to a character. And then find out that they get offed at a different point. I hate when characters I start to care for die. It always happens too.

Humbug

Posted by Humbug 2 months ago

Yeah, I wish more people understood that too. Blargh.

And alrighty. Later, then. :)