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So here's a bit of a weird one. I began writing this chapter months ago, but felt like it dawdled around a bit too much without really progressing the plot towards the "Good Stuff" and I kept getting distracted and going on world-building tangents (Because I really, REALLY like this setting and keep wanting to expand on it and flesh it out. I wasn't sure if I should start again and re-write the whole chapter from scratch (as actually happened with the first chapter of this story) but given my extremely limited output recently I thought I'd put it out as a mini chapter, along with an open invitation to ask me any questions about the setting/world that this story takes place in. I'd be really interested to know what aspects people find interesting etc. And while I answer any questions I get (Which I'm sadly not expecting to be very much, as I think much of my audience has evaporated due to my lack of activity in recent years) I'll keep working on the next chapter that actually gets on with what I imagine draws most people to my work: the Vore.
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Posted by Draegonx 5 years ago Report
I do like how you build up it all with this kind of world building and slow burn rendering, it is worth the wait for sure XP
Posted by glargicus 5 years ago Report
Thanks. I'd say slow-burn is the understatement of the year given how long it can take me to get a chapter out, but I'm really glad some people don't mind the wait. :)
Posted by Mad51 5 years ago Report
Exposition dump. My suggestion, which I think I've made before is - write it all down in point form, and find ways of sneaking it into the story naturally. "“Well, Ellie, I asked if I could get your father to be my page, but apparently he was too busy suckin’ clit for pocket change out the back of the strip club.” is an example of showing us that we are in a matriarchy, it flips the ideas we know in a way that funny and telling.
Posted by glargicus 5 years ago Report
Yeah, struggling to not dump exposition is a constant struggle with this story. (That's why I was so conflicted about this mini-chapter, especially the footnotes.) I guess it comes down to wanting the story and the characters to make sense, and a large part of that is understanding the ways in which their world differs from ours. The question is how to include enough information to make the story coherent without writing a goddamn silmarillion to give it context. That's why I thought might try to do this little "AMA" about the world/setting as a way of fleshing it out without clogging up the story itself.
Posted by Mad51 5 years ago Report
silmarillion remark is spot on! - you got this man!
Posted by mullac 5 years ago Report
I love learning how to write stories! From what I've learnt, the best ways for a story like this to deliver exposition and worldbuilding would be:
Metaphor: Describe the current situation by describing something else important to the story. For instance. Describe the main character as being “As brave as the new King”, to tell us there is a new king, and he is brave.
Conflict: Have someone who hates a thing use it as an insult. For instance; “No good Northerner would let a damn Greenskin make his food.”
Environment: The physical landscape can show an idyllic world or one torn by war. Propaganda can show what the culture of your world believes. Events such as a bomb going off can show a world in conflict. Simply showing the mechanics of the world can do just as much as just explaining it.
(I hope Eka's preserves the formatting for this)
Posted by glargicus 5 years ago Report
That's definitely good advice, but I'm having a lot more trouble applying it to the story of this setting (due to it being a bizarre mash-up of elements from different time periods coupled with a total societal restructuring that permeates most aspects of the main character's life) than I would to something like "Anthropology and Anthropophagy" or "Hell Hogs" which the reader can largely substitute in a generic post apocalyptic or sci-fi setting. Not saying it's bad advice, just that I'm struggling to apply it as well as I could with this particular story. :)
Posted by BIGBIG 5 years ago Report
The world is already nicely set up as a stage for the more tabu stuff to happen.
Im curious exactly about the "tabu" theme.
How cannibalism and other perversions are a part of it and how often, where and when they usually occur.
You always set it up as a behind the scenes thing. Would be nice to see it come to the daylight a bit earlier in the story and see how the characters react to it.
Posted by glargicus 5 years ago Report
So in this setting the genetic modifications required for vore have been outlawed for a bit over a century, but that doesn't stop it potentially being passed down from mother to daughter. It's a relatively rare trait, probably only present in about 4% of women in the capital, many of which probably don't know that they could if they tried. You could probably liken it to something like fox hunting, in that it's something that only the wealthy were ever really able to partake in the first place, even before it was made illegal. It still happens behind closed doors, and more traditional families will tend to look the other way, even if they don't strictly approve. It tends to be much rarer in the colonies due it there being far less women who reach the size that would be required to do it, even if they possessed the right genes. (Although there are definitely households that moved away from the capital into the colonies when the tides started to change so they wouldn't be under as close scrutiny with their treatment of the men they owned.)
Posted by glargicus 5 years ago Report
Thanks for asking Bigs, this is exactly the kind of question I was hoping for in terms of expanding the setting. :D
Posted by supersaiyango 5 years ago Report
I do wonder how the girls of this world would react to a male saiyan student one that would outclass them as they outclass the human men