Uploaded: 5 years ago
Views: 2,536
File size: 112.18 KiB
MIME Type: application/rtf
Comments: 12
Favorites: 42
Chirin, Kimille, and Lumine are just a couple of friends tackling the most popular MMORPG of the twenty second century, Shards of Lucidity!
Only, instead of going on quests or working on their crafts, it seems Kimille and Lumine have come up with a rather peculiar way to cheese the game! Now the harried healer Chirin must endure their most ridiculous scheme yet! Will she make this her group's first successful strat, or will she suffer a humiliating fate?
Please login to post a comment.
Posted by Fabhar 5 years ago Report
I really enjoyed this! I hope you post stuff of similar quality in the future!
Posted by VividLucidity 5 years ago Report
A nice story. You've got a good writing ability. Keep it up!
Posted by MidoriHime 5 years ago Report
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it, and I definitely plan to write more in the future!
Posted by DHCPMigrant 5 years ago Report
Jesus fucking Christ. It took my 5 hours to find you. Had downloaded PDF on phone but lost the thread and site name.
Anyway, loved the story. Was more so interested in the premise. You write pretty damn well. Hoping to see more similar stuff in the future.
Posted by MidoriHime 5 years ago Report
Thanks for the compliments, my next story will be a different concept, but I hope you'll like it once I put it out!
Posted by OsmiumOrchid 5 years ago Report
This was really good! Fun, unique concept, and the execution of it was great. Loved the descriptions of her being packed in with other food, as well as the health updates. I'm a sucker for healthbars in vore, and this is the first time I've seen it done effectively in writing, so good job!
If you're looking for critique, the only issue I picked up on with one read through is during the part where she's struggling against the food being stuffed in with her. You reference the concern of taking drowning damage in essentially the same way really close together. It may just be because 'drowning damage' is a pretty specific phrase, but it stuck out to me while I was reading.
Looking forward to more from you!
Posted by MidoriHime 5 years ago Report
Good point about the drowning damage thing, my bad! I must've glossed over it in editing.
Still, thank you for reading, and I hope you'll stick around to enjoy my future works!
Posted by Skeiron 5 years ago Report
This was a fun read. Well done!
Posted by Bright 4 years ago Report
I really like the setting of the mmorpg.
Posted by LivesInAStomach 3 years ago Report
This is a really fascinating concept for a story and I think you executed it very nicely. I loved the characterization of, well, the characters! And the internal descriptions of the stomach with all the food sloshing around was pretty great, too. I know this story is quite old, but I think you have great writing ability!
Posted by MidoriHime 3 years ago Report
Thank you very much. I've been trying to write something new for a while, but the story that's closest to finished is in editing hell right now, so it's taken me a lot longer than I would've liked.
Posted by LivesInAStomach 3 years ago Report
I know how that feels. Well, I shall wait patiently yet eagerly! And hey, from writer to writer, if you ever need help my PMs are open.