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He did it! After a decade of work and collaboration with experts from all over Eanli, a white-tailed deer scientist managed to create an affordable and reliable protein printer. With cheap and accessible alternative to live prey on the horizon, he's sure that hunting hours will finally end for good, and predators and prey will finally be at peace. Of course, he couldn't have done it without her help...
5K emotional words. Note: sad and fatal.
“Our company was already involved in the artificially-grown meat industry. The world is already changing, but the critics are right: it doesn’t fully solve the problem. It’s not portable, and so it’s hard to match demand. Hunting is already optional for middle class incomes, and with the proliferation of our product, I imagine hunting will be a thing of the past soon, for everyone.”
Posted by Randomness 5 years ago Report
Fantastic. Wonderful use of perspective and I was wonderfully surprised by your use of a silent narrator. Interesting and well done!
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Posted by ObsidianSnake 5 years ago Report
Thank you! The return to first-person for this was refreshing after learning so much. The experiment for this one was the silent narrator, allowing the dialogue to be carried by unspoken things instead. I learned a lot, and I'm glad you enjoyed!
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Posted by Randomness 5 years ago Report
It also adds to the terror of the poor deer. Imagining this entire scene from his perspective, especially how silent his cougar mentor is adds to his horror towards the end.
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Posted by ObsidianSnake 5 years ago Report
All that remained to be said were things that must not be spoken. So, she tells the reader instead.
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Posted by Entirely_Logical 5 years ago Report
The real tragedy here is how close he was, historically speaking, to seeing the fruits of his research - yet falling so close to the finish line at the hands of one he trusted implicitly.
Previous stories has attributed the perfection of refabrication to a certain wolf, yet this story suggests that much of the work may have been performed by figures who met similar fates, adding on to the tragic implications.
As before, this is very well put together, and I can't wait to read more.
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Posted by ObsidianSnake 5 years ago Report
I adore your commentary. Forgive me if this is uncomfortable to read, but your diction and tone are soothing.
I think it's sadly common for people to abbreviate the efforts of groups or labors of collectives as the achievements of individuals. I'm not saying that genius doesn't exist, or that leadership isn't a thing, but I think we emphasize it too much. It's something I hope this story illustrates, at least a little. It's funny, isn't it? The device takes all these bits and arranges them into something vital, much like the research project that produced it.
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Posted by FirstOf71st 4 years ago Report
I can't say I'm enjoying your shorter works as much as the longer, in-depth story I commented on a week or so ago. However, it's just as fascinating to see the social and technological continuity of this universe between timeframes.
As stated by another commentator, silent first-person perspective threw me for a bit of a loop here, but it really works to build the tension for the climax - it works even though any reader on this site probably knows exactly what that climax is as soon as the characters are introduced.
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Posted by ObsidianSnake 4 years ago Report
I often consider the impact of tags on reader experience. The tags give a cross-cut view of the works, which defies some approaches to story-telling. I've learned to work with that, rather than around or against it. Maybe that's a similar problem as working within the constraints of genre!
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Posted by Furryvoreonly 10 months ago Report
She could have at least explained herself to the poor guy!
"I love him, too, even though I couldn’t tell him that"
Why couldn't she? It's not like anyone would hear her and make fun of her for loving him in her own possessive predatory way. She could have at least tried to explain her reasoning to him.
I guess he just made the mistake of trusting the wrong predator...
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