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Taking a Dip By Gershwin -- Report

Uploaded: 4 years ago

Views: 7,378

File size: 146.00 KiB

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Comments: 17

Favorites: 119

A woodland ranger stumbles across an unlikely bathing spot, unfortunatly the owner might not be so happy about it.

EDIT: I have reworked the ending as I was not happy with it, and generally had feedback suggesting it didn't fit so well.

My side of an art trade.

If you know my writing style and preferences you know what to expect. Doesn't actually contain Anal Vore, but since some people see insertion the same as vore it's been tagged as such.

I originally didn’t fully tag it to avoid spoilers but that apparently didn’t go down well so I’ve tagged it all. I guess... don’t read the tags if you want to have some surprises?

I’ll come up with a fun icon later.

 XiaoRenzhe is doing some awesome art from one of the scenes.

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Comments
shortprey20

Posted by shortprey20 4 years ago Report

Yay! Love the new story and glad to see more of your work! I loved the kinks saga so glad to see more stories from you :D

Gershwin

Posted by Gershwin 4 years ago Report

Always happy to hear someone enjoys my writing :) hopefully I’ll get more done sooner than later.

sadcat

Posted by sadcat 4 years ago Report

Wow...just...wow. Now this is an example of a good, damn, story! Lol gave me tonikaku kawaii vibes with day one marriage and all XD

Gershwin

Posted by Gershwin 4 years ago Report

Glad you enjoyed it! Hah yes the whole nature bond thing is a little marriage like I guess :D

hersnack

Posted by hersnack 4 years ago Report

Don't mean to be critical, But I wish you would specify if a story involves Anal Vore. Frankly I would never read such a story. I actually thought it was pretty good until the Anal vore came in.

Gershwin

Posted by Gershwin 4 years ago Report

I understand, though the reason for the missing tags is that they would immediately telegraph what happens between the characters, which is supposed to be an unknown in the story. I’ll try and find a way to indicate content somewhere that doesn’t reveal it to anyone who wants a surprise. Maybe a forum link or a separate upload with the tags in.

I deleted my original comment as I was a bit hasty in my response. I don’t understand your approach to reading fetish literature and how a single paragraph or two can make you not want to read something you otherwise say you liked. However that’s your choice and I shouldn’t bash it, I just don’t agree or understand.

Altimos

Posted by Altimos 4 years ago Report

Vore varies pretty wide, there are certainly areas of vore that people would rather not associate with, especially when it involves fatal/non-fatal.

You're actually loosing exposure if you don't tag everything. And I get it, you like to give your stories some sort of anonymity, surprising the reader in the end. I'm only here because I saw your comment to Hersnack from "latest updates" and to be honest, seems still like your bashing Hersnack, and they weren't hostile to you at all, really.

Otherwise, I would have passed on your story from the lack of tags. I've been duped in the past many times from those that don't tag correctly (as I'm sure many have also been), especially on if it's a male or female pred. So, I can see where Hersnack's is coming from.

People have their niches, it's hard... I understand, but your comment will also lose you fans/clients, especially when you're in the commission game.

I'm just saying, try and keep a level head about it... for me, now that I see that it's anal vore, I'll go ahead and give your story a read. My advice, is to tag everything... more exposure for those that are exactly looking for your type of story, mostly so through tag searching.

Gershwin

Posted by Gershwin 4 years ago Report

Your right, of course. I am perhaps a little over defensive about the “story” when really, it is just fetish smut with a thin layer of character over it.

I didn’t mean to bash Hersnack, not really. I guess coming off the back of writing 10k words I reacted negatively to what seemed like an unreasonable comment at the time, but I understand. I get frustrated when violence isn’t tagged or underage, so yeah.

There isn’t any anal vore. There is a very brief anal insertion scene. So in some ways given it’s about 4% of the overall story, it feels misleading tagging at it! But I will.

Altimos

Posted by Altimos 4 years ago Report

Well, I did read it and after commenting regarding the comments towards Hersnack, I should make it a critique about the actual story...

So, my assessment of your story from my opinion was def on point. In some regards, it did drag on and felt it could be trimmed a little. But it did not detract from the overall telling of the story, it just made it seem longer than it should have.

I will say that the nature between Carlisle and the fairy was a little contrived... meaning it feels artificially created/forced versus flowed naturally, during the leadup to the actual vore. I mean, it's kind of given since you had to give some lore regarding the difference between human magic and nature magic...

But after the vore (which could have had a little more detail), was WOW, it flowed so well... especially towards the relationship the fairy was starting to have with Carlisle. The connection they started to form (I won't go into detail since it's a spoiler), and how it played out well.

Let's just say the ending was very intuitive and I feel this is something that could actually happen given if the world/universe was real.

As far as what Hersnack was talking about, I really hate to break it to you, yes... this is anal vore. Insertion would be if someone where to be used as a buttplug, but she even screamed "deeper" even after his feet went all up inside there, and that he was pushing the the intestinal wall which is way past the colon. I think it was a fitting end though :3

Gershwin

Posted by Gershwin 4 years ago Report

Thanks for the feedback, useful stuff there.

The start was a little longer than I planned, and I did actually trim it down, so it could have been worse!

The vore part... I went back to add detail, but found somehow it didn't work for me, I guess because Iona is treating it as just "eating"?

While it was a oneoff for an art trade, I'm tempted to write another part. One day maybe.

I guess many people have a different definition of AV. A fair few people I know would say it's about intent and result, which is how I see it. I some people see it your way too. I doubt there's a dictionary definition!

Angelicsiren

Posted by Angelicsiren 1 year ago Report

Is there a save of the old version? I preferred it, and think the two should have been posted separately as alternatives.

Gershwin

Posted by Gershwin 1 year ago Report

Oh probably, I can upload it. Will have to wait until my PC is fixed, PSU failed and fried my motherboard, fingers crossed nothing else got broken along the way.

Gershwin

Posted by Gershwin 1 year ago Report

You can find the original here: https://aryion.com/g4/view/916124

CoolKaios

Posted by CoolKaios 3 months ago Report

Very in depth and alot at play here~
I like how it grew into a genuine romance. I also like the personality of the characters and as a ne DM how surprisingly faithful it is to DnD.

Gershwin

Posted by Gershwin 3 months ago Report

Glad you enjoyed it, I hadn't really intended it to be DnD faithful, but I have played a lot of DnD so I suppose some of the ideas and concepts just leaked in!

I guess it became sort of romance, more a romance in the making since they're now stuck with each other!

Also Kibate did a fantastic job illustrating this (in my gallery too).