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meeting the legendary serpent of the swamp By nervousvampire -- Report

okay this story is very much a test for me. Not very vorey, more focused on fluff, characters and descriptors so feed back is appreciated.

Side note I did not know female naga were called Nagis. The more you know.

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wardog34

Posted by wardog34 4 years ago Report

i would love another part to this story i love the story

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

Honestly I had originally planned this to be far longer but just kept getting writers block so I thought I'd upload this and see about feedback

ExistentialRowlet

Posted by ExistentialRowlet 4 years ago Report

"protag syndrome"
i see what you did there ;)

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

I was very proud of that joke. It's simple but it's one of my favorite that I've written.

TheMysteriousSadSack

Posted by TheMysteriousSadSack 4 years ago Report

Oh no, the dreaded protag syndrom. It wont be long before she shows symptoms of plotis armoris. Lovely fluff with a side of justice is always a win in my book.

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

glad to hear that. I really debated posting this on here since it had so little vore

Tahg

Posted by Tahg 4 years ago Report

Certainly wouldn't mind more to this story, if you ever come up with something. Technically not Non-Fatal, but considering the husband was such a jerk, I don't really mind.

Regarding the Time Skip: You have a large break pretty much in the middle of the scene of Ire leaving, and then after "With luck, she would never again set eyes on that snake woman." you pretty much have nothing. That confused me for a bit until I got a fair bit further in the story.

Naga is not technically wrong as it's sanskrit for serpent, regardless of species. Different from English, where the female tends to take on the species name. Also different from Latin, where an 'i'/'is' ending would indicate a male, and an 'a' ending would indicate female.

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

okay, ya the time skip was one part where I wasn't entirely sure how to handle it since I wanted it to seem like a little time had passed only for Nee'var to learn it had been so long, but I'll admit I find time skips difficult at the moment.


Also I was not aware of that. I looked up naga and found a site called Britannica which went into a lot of stuff about them and the name nagis or naginis for female naga was one of the things it talked about.

Glad you liked it and I went with the non fatal tagg more in regards to the vore element, I do include the tag murder so I think it balances out